Hope
by HaleKent
Summary: Post-Sunnydale. The gang is now in Cleveland, OH, a year after their escape. Buffy's dreams are beginning to get to close to reality. Are those who were lost coming back to the Scooby Gang? PLEASE leave reviews!
1. Chapter 1

_They deserve this?_

_After saving the world multiple times and repressing the First, they need a reward._

_Even the witch? After what has happened?  
Especially the witch._

_What will they remember?  
Not much, but enough. Only what is necessary. They will be attracted to each other, though they may not know why. They'll find who they're supposed to._

Buffy walked through the park near her new home in Cleveland, Ohio—home of the new Hellmouth—and the remaining slayers that travelled with them from Sunnydale. She was thankful Giles had friends in high places and was able to get so many houses so close together in so short of a time. Three houses—one for herself and Dawn, one for Willow and Kennedy, and one for Robin and Faith. The remaining slayers had split between them, the ones that wanted to stay anyway. Some decided to leave normal lives, but promised to remain in contact in case of an emergency. Some still showed up, willing to start their training as Slayers. Giles had returned to England. Again. But this time only because The Council asked- no begged- him to return. What was left of it anyway. His Slayer had beaten the First. They wanted him to lead them, guide them, and help them to be as successful as he was with his Slayer.

Buffy was happy for him. She missed him, but she was glad she helped him do what he needed. She loved the new area. Everything was new. It was May now. Almost a year after the sinkhole engulfed Sunnydale. She was actually able to wear a long sleeve and jeans around here and not sweat to death like in California.

She watched as kids played and laughed, and she smiled to herself. The wind was light and still cool. She watched it hit the water from the lake, causing small waves. _This place is beautiful, _she thought. She sat under a great oak tree, not wanting to be in the direct sun. Though at the time, the sun was hidden behind a thick cloud. As she carefully relaxed, she felt a tingle on the back of her neck, something usually associated with vampires. _In broad daylight?_ She turned her head slightly, looking for something suspicious. Nothing. This was the only tree for yards, and buildings were even further. As the sun came from behind the clouds, she repositioned herself back to her comfortable arrangement, and then, she saw him. A man was leaning against the rail near the lake. A black leather trench coat hung from him. She saw a pale hand, and almost white, blond hair. _I must be dreaming. He died. It can't be him. Please let it be him._ She slowly stood and walked toward the unknown man. She didn't want to be weird and stand directly next to him, but she found herself doing so anyway. She gazed across the blue waters, hoping the eyes she was about to look into be just as blue. She turned her head carefully, not wanting to scare the man with her sudden appearance. Her eyes widened as she saw him. His strong cheekbones. The scar on his left eyebrow. The piercing blue eyes held her gaze as he said, "Hello, Slayer."

She jumped as her dream ended. She lied in her new bed and wept again, as she had done so many times before. Though she had had dreams about him before, it was never like this. Never him in the sun, or hell, even talking. Just him, holding her. Or watching him burn as he saved them. She couldn't bear these dreams. _It was so real! _She sobbed quietly. _Why couldn't it have just been real?_

She decided to walk downstairs, and start her day. It was seven in the morning. Dawn and the others were about to get ready for school. She went through the routine she had for the past eight months. Five sandwiches, followed with a piece of fruit in a brown bag. She grabbed five bowls, the three different boxes of cereal, and the milk. Just as she started her own breakfast, the girls started down the stairs. Dawn was the first down, eager to start the day. Amanda, Rona and Vi followed. Robin had gotten a job as principal at the high school, also offering Buffy her job as counselor for students. The files on the slayers had "conveniently" gotten misplaced, but the transcripts survived through the Sunnydale High website. Dawn and Amanda were seniors, about to graduate. Vi and Rona still had a year, and Buffy had already made them promise to finish, even if it meant the end of the world. Not amused at the terms of the promise, they agreed.

Dawn noticed her sister's slightly red eyes and rested her arm on Buffy's shoulders. Buffy made a thankful smile but kept quiet. They had grown closer after the last few years, but not as close as they had since the previous June. They had lost a lot of friends, but he was the one they hurt over. Buffy hated to think about him. The pain was almost bearable, just as long as she didn't dream of him, think of him, or basically have anything to do with him. She still remembers the first time she had to consciously think about him not being with them anymore. The day she told Angel.

_Riiiiiing. Riiiiiiiing._ "Buffy?"

"Yeah, it's me," she said through a quiet sob. "Umm... we won. No more Uber-vamps. No more Sunnydale actually."

"Yeah, I saw that much on the tv. Is everyone okay? I mean, Dawn and- and Willow and…" his voice trailed as he thought of his grandchilde.

"Dawn, Willow, Xander, Giles are all fine. A few slayers died. Faith and Robin are okay. We almost lost Robin. But… umm. We.." Buffy couldn't finish the thought.

"Spike?" Angel asked after he heard her sniffle. He knew he shouldn't have given her that amulet. He should've worn it. Maybe it would have actually helped him atone for his past doings. Something he was still working on.

"No… He- uh- he didn't make it. The amulet… It kinda created the sinkhole. It was daylight, and the light hit it and lit up the entire Hellmouth. Vamps went ka-poof. Even…" she failed to finish her sentence once again.

"I'm—I'm so sorry, Buffy. Do—do you want me to come see you?" he offered.

"No," she answered quickly. "No, we're on the move actually. Headed toward Cleveland. Giles said there's another Hellmouth. Glad to know there's still plenty more people and places that needs defending. We just stopped at a hotel to get some sleep. I'll call you once we get settled there. It's not exactly an hour away from L.A, but I'll give you the number and address of where we are, just in case you need something or vise versa."  
"Buffy.."

"_Please deposit 25 cents to continue. Call will disconnect in one minute," the automated message said into their ears._

"Ugh," she groaned. "I know, Angel. Thanks. I've gotta go. Got a big day." Click.


	2. Chapter 2

Buffy realized the girls were talking around her rather than to her whenever Dawn tapped her arm discreetly. She looked at her sister who smiled slightly and told her she better get dressed if they were going to make it to school on time. Buffy mindlessly walked to her room, picking random clothes from the closet and hoped she looked decent in them. She looked into the bathroom mirror to fix her hair into a tight bun. Her eyes were still a little red, and purple underneath from lack of sleep. She grabbed Dawn's makeup and quickly applied the minimal basics. No eye shadow, mascara, or even gloss. Just enough foundation to make her skin look the way it was supposed to. She hurried down and grabbed her keys, purse, and lunch. The girls hurried to the car and off they went. The girls chattered about homework and boys and the upcoming summer, as the quiet Summers girls just focused on getting to the high school. Dawn trailed behind the others as Buffy drug herself to her eight-to-four job.

"What happened?" Dawn said, just low enough the Buffy would hear her.

"What do you mean?" Buffy said, trying to play dumb, but not really _wanting_ to answer.

"In the dream. I know you dreamed of him. I do too, some times."

"Can we not talk about this right now?" the elder begged.

"Sure. But only if you let me have lunch with you. The entire hour! Not just the fifteen minutes I get."

"Won't you be missing some of Ms. Whos-it's class?"  
"It's been eight months and you still don't know my fifth period teacher's name? C'mon you know her. She talks to you all the time, and not just because of me. It's history…"

"Oh. Umm. Ms. Miller?"  
"No. Ms. Collier."  
"Oh." Buffy said, disappointed in herself. She'd been trying to get to know everyone. Especially Dawn's teachers.

"So can I? You can write me an excuse and we can just talk. Or not. Whatever. There are only two weeks of classes left and next week is nothing but review. We're not learning anything new. I mean really. Monday, we watched Gettysburg. And we're not even finished! Please." Dawn whined with a big smile, trying to raise her sister's spirit.  
"Sure," Buffy said plainly.

"Okay, see you at 11:30. I better hurry so I'm not late for homeroom again." Dawn said as she scurried away.

Buffy strolled to her office. She was a little proud that she actually had an office, not just a cubicle like in Sunnydale. She was able to shut the door and literally shut everyone out if she needed to. She sat down and starred at her desk. No photos, no knick-knacks. Everything that she had was in the sinkhole that is now Sunnydale. Except for Mr. Gordo. Dawn was able to snag him and put into a bag for her sister._ I'd trade Mr. Gordo for… him, any day._ Her head whimpered.

"Knock, knock," came a familiar voice. Male, but not the one she longed to hear. She picked her head up and saw Robin Wood, standing in her doorway.  
"Hi."  
"Hi. Ready to get started? There's a new student, and I would like you to talk to her before she got started today. Think you can do that?" he asked, trying to be friendly. He knew she was struggling to do a lot of things these days. But she was strong. She was a Slayer.

"Sure."  
"Good," he said with a smile. "Here's her file. Her name is Selena. She's had a history of violence at her last school. Just started about a year ago. _I_ think she may be chosen."

"Okay. I'll see if she is. I'll let you know," Buffy said with a weak smile.

As Robin walked out, the girl-Selena- walked in. She was average looking. Pale, dark hair, but average. Until Buffy saw her eyes. Bright blue. _God, if there was such things as vampires having kids, she could be Dru's. And his._

"Hi, Selena. I'm Buffy Summers. You can call me Buffy, or Ms. Summers. I don't care," she smiled at the girl, avoiding her eyes. "Have a seat."

This girl said nothing as she stared into the woman's green eyes. She sat across from Buffy's desk, not removing her eyes.

"Um, so. Where did you come from?" Buffy asked as she rummaged through the file Robin had given her. The previous school wasn't too far. Just a couple towns over. A police file was attached also. It said that she was found fighting, claiming some of her classmates were not human. _Hmmm. Sounds like when I was in L.A. But she could just be a troubled kid. Not all cases like this means she's a slayer._

"I'm from Akron," Selena said. Her voice was smooth and calm. Not chipper, or excited. Strange since she was starting a new school so close to the end of the year. Buffy looked up at the girl, wondering if she was going to say more. Selena just looked around the room, not anxious, just curious. Buffy noticed that she wasn't dressed any differently from what Dawn would've worn. Then, the girl's eyes caught Buffy's. She inhaled sharply and begged the pain to not come right now. The blue in her eyes were so similar. She had to look away.

"Is there something wrong, Ms. Summers?" Selena wondered. She looked truly concerned.

"Um, no, Selena. Nothing's wrong. Umm, so what happened at your last school?" Buffy said quickly, changing the subject. _Why now? Why is so much reminding me of him today?_

"Oh. I don't like talking about it. Whenever I tell someone, they laugh at me," Selena whispered, looking at her feet as if they were the most interesting thing.

"I won't laugh. You can tell me anything." Buffy was completely sincere about this. That's exactly how she felt whenever she saw her first vampire.

"Umm.. I was at school one night for a baseball game. I'm not a fan of baseball, but a friend of mine was going because of her boyfriend, so I tagged along. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, there was a couple by the fence. I was going to ignore them, because, you know, it's high school. People are together all the time. But I had a feeling I needed to go to them. I got a few feet away from the guy who was—what it seemed—kissing the girl's neck, and he stopped, and I think he growled. He looked at me and his eyes were yellow. His forehead was bumpy and he had fangs. I knew he wasn't human…. And this is where the laughing begins," Selena said hesitantly.

"Oh. So, what did you do?"

"I wanted to run. But the girl was in trouble… I know the legends, and stuff from movies. I tried to find something wooden, pointy, ya know, so I could stab him. But I couldn't find anything. So, I just kicked him, threw a few punches. He was fast, but I kept up. He finally ran off. I called the cops, told them what happened, but they didn't believe me. She was in the hospital for days."

"Wow. So, umm." Buffy was speechless. She didn't know what to say to this girl. She seems like she may be a slayer, but the story sounded so rehearsed. Maybe that was just from the girl saying it so many times. "I'd like to talk to after school, if you don't mind. If I'm right about something, you may be seeing a lot of me," Buffy said with a big smile. _I need to call Willow, see if she can do a truth spell without the girl—Selena—knowing she's under one._

"Uh- sure. Is tomorrow okay? I have softball tryouts after school today," Selena said.  
"I thought you didn't like baseball?" Buffy asked quizzically.

"I don't. I like softball. It isn't about guys showing off how big their sticks are or how hard they can hit a ball. It's about having fun and whooping some as-butt. Some butt. Plus, I'm really good."  
"Good. Well, welcome to STA. Feel free to come to talk to me anytime you want."

"Thanks, Ms. Summers. See you tomorrow."

"Bye." As Selena closed the door, she picked up the phone and dialed the all too familiar number.


	3. Chapter 3

_Riiiiing. Riiiing._

"Angel Investigations. We help the helpless. Cordelia speaking."  
"Hey, it's Buffy. Is Angel around?"  
"Oh, Buffy. Hi. Umm… Yeah, actually. He just walked in," she said as she handed the phone over and whispered, "It's Buffy," to Angel.

"Buffy? What is it?" he asked, concerned.

"It's nothing super important. I'm just kinda freaking."

"About?"

"There's a new girl. She started today, and Robin wanted me to talk to her before she started the day." She looked at the clock. It was 9AM already. _Wow. Cordy's up early these days._

"Okaaaay," Angel said, not understanding. "What about her is making you 'freak'?"

"Besides the fact that she looks like she could be Drusilla and Spike's lovechild, it's her story." She told him what Selena told her. Everything. Especially how it seemed rehearsed. She asked about the truth spell as well.  
"Well, one: The lovechild thing, not possible. He was turned before anything happened." Angel made sure not to say his name. He knew she slipped, but he knew how much it was going to hurt her later, too. "And second: I don't know much about magick, so you'll have to ask Willow about that. And lastly: She could've just told the story a lot. But something does seem strange. Send me what you can of her file, and I'll see what I can do."

She sighed heavily. She knew she slipped. Right now, she didn't care. She wanted to know about this girl. "Thanks, Angel. Call me when you find something out."  
"You're welcome… Buffy, how are you doing?"  
"I'm… doing." She said, trying to sound sure of herself.

"As opposed to?"  
"As opposed to not. Look, I'm trying. It's hard. But I have a job. I'm taking care of Dawn and the girls. There's not as much activity here are there was there. But I keep myself busy. I try not to think too much."

"Okay. I get it. Let me know if there's anything else I can do," he said hopeful and trying to be helpful.

"Thanks. I gotta go." Click.

She picked up the phone again, this time calling Willow. It was 9:30. She was already at the new magic store. She picked up before it finished the first ring. "Hey, Buffy!" Willow said enthusiastically.

"Hey, Will." Buffy launched into the tale she just finished with Angel, although trying to focus more on the girl's story, and not so much on how much she reminded her of him… Those eyes… "Anyway, can you do a truth spell without her knowing you put one on her? I don't trust her yet."  
"Yeah, I can. Are you sure though? Where do you want to have her meet you?"

"The shop. That way everyone is safe, and she won't know where we live in case things turn strangely."  
"Okay, Buff. Well, I gotta go. Customers and such. See you for dinner?"  
"Yeah. See you then. Bye."

_One more call, and then I'll actually worry about work stuff. Not Slayer stuff._

_Riiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiiiing._ _Come on, pick up! I know you're there!_ _Riiiiiiiiiing. Riiiiiing._ "Hullo?"  
"Giles. I need you to do some research. What do you know about vampires having kids?"

Eleven thirty came slowly after this morning's events. Buffy wasn't usually so talkative, but now that Selena had come and ruined the routine. Dawn knocked as she entered the room at precisely 11:32, just enough time to get from Ms. Collier's class to her office.

"So, tell me about the dream," was the first thing that came from Dawn's mouth as she shut the door. Buffy told her about it, in all the detail she remembered.

"Wow. So you think it was just a dream about him? Because you miss him?" Dawn questioned. "Or could it be one of the Slayer prophetic-y type dreams?"

"Prophetic-y type? Dawn, he died…" she forced herself to say. "And unless the Forces-That-Be think we deserve something because we've saved the world countless times, then I would think no."  
"Well, how do you know? Maybe they've decided you save the world X amount of times and then poof—you get a nifty treat."

"If only…"

Xander shot up from his slumber. _Oh man… Anya… Not again._ Another dream about the one woman he loved more than anyone else in the world. He missed her so much. He wanted to just crawl back to bed and cry until sleep came again. He looked at the clock. Seven in the morning. Time to get to work. He was the foreman of a construction crew. He had to be there at least half an hour earlier than everyone else. If he didn't get dressed now, he wouldn't make it the cite in time. He hurried through his apartment, getting dressed, gathering his supplies, and hastily making it out the door. One thing he liked about being a foreman, he didn't have time to think about his own things. He had to focus on what everyone else was doing. That dream though… There was something different. It wasn't like the others, where it was the last time he saw her, or the last time he made love to her. This was just seeing her. And not in Sunnydale. It was here. All she said was his name, and that when he awoke. He arrived to the site just in time so he would have so save the emotional break down for later.


	4. Chapter 4

Since summer was so close, the girls headed straight to the magic shop instead of waiting for Buffy. Willow had gotten the store next to a gym, so it was great for the slayers to train. And it was great for Buffy and Robin to actually talk since this was the first chance she'd gotten all day.

"I just don't know," Buffy said as she explained Selena's story. She was sure now that something wasn't right.

"I get it," he said. "I mean, I understand you don't trust her yet. She is just sixteen."  
"Well, I'm not going to say what I was doing at sixteen, but making up a story about vampires was not it. The stories I told were real, and I had friends that knew that. I don't think she's had that option. I'm worried though. Most of the slayers now don't have watchers. After the First was able to blow most of them up. Giles said there's about ten slayers for every watcher… And there's more than ten here! In Cleveland alone! I can't imagine how it is for anyone who doesn't know about this world. Where they don't know vampires and demons exist and they don't know they're supposed to fight them. I mean, having that power and not knowing how to use it… I would say I was there once, but I wasn't. I had Giles." Buffy took a deep breath after her big rant. She was scared for the other girls that didn't know about the world of the Slayers.

"It's okay, Buffy. Giles know that you're doing what you can now. You're trying to look after as many as possible. Which is why there are four girls living with me and Faith, you, and Willow. I keep expecting guys to start showing up, too. But I know the slayer gene is strictly for women only. Some kind of club you have going here, Buffy." Robin joked. Buffy looked at him blankly.

"None of these girls chose this! I know many of them want to just live normal lives. I did. But I gave up on that whenever I had to kill Angel." She confessed as thought about having to kill her first love in order to save the world. _Only seven years ago. So much has changed. I have a new love now. This time he sacrificed himself to save the world._

"I know, Buffy. I know. Relax," Robin sympathized. Buffy looked at the clock. Almost four, and still no word from Angel or Giles. It was going to be a long week.

"I gotta go," she said after a minute. "I told Willow I was going to meet her at the shop so we could work on some stuff… Plus, I need to help the girls with their training."

"Okay. I'll see you around seven," Robin said, indicating he'd also be at Willow's for dinner.

_I'm so glad dinner was uneventful. I'm very glad there are so many of them now. I don't have to keep the conversation going, _Buffy thought as she drove home. The girls had quieted down some now. No school tomorrow so maybe she'll be able to sleep in some. Faith could patrol. She said she would and take some of the girls with her. _For a Hellmouth, it's surprisingly ordinary._ Everyone went their ways as the house door opened. Buffy called dibs on the shower before anyone else. She really did not care if she used all the hot water. She just wanted to soak and hope that the little aromatherapy Willow showed her works. She started the water and took a bottle of oil from the medicine cabinet. The bottle read "Lavender Essential Oils." Willow said that lavender was used for balance, peace, calming, and sleep. Exactly what Buffy needed. She poured a little into the tub, and settled into it. The water was hot, but it immediately felt better. She sank into the tub, trying to absorb the essence of the oil, hoping to infuse her own body with what the oil is supposed to do. She closed her eyes and tried to relax.

_Knock-knock-knock._

Buffy jerked up, and some water splashed onto the floor. "Crap," she mumbled. "What?" she answered.

"Buffy, you've been in there for almost an hour! Let someone else get in there!" Dawn said, half-jokingly.

"Ugh… Okay. I'll be out in a minute," she called back. She unplugged the drain and toweled off. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes didn't look near as purple underneath. But an hour of sleep wasn't enough. Not even close. She put on her robe, and put her towel on the floor to soak up the water that had spilt. She lied on her bed, and again, she missed the cold arms that used to hold her. She lied there, thinking about him. Thinking how much she missed him. She closed her eyes, hoping to get some sleep. _Screw it._ She decided to get dressed. _I need to kill something._ She got dressed, and told Dawn she was going out…


	5. Chapter 5

As she walked through the cemetery, she noticed how different things were. There was a tent set up over a freshly made grave._ Hmmm. I wonder if this is gonna be a vamp. That'd be fantastic, _she thought enthusiastically. She looked around and noticed that there weren't any more fresh ones around. "Slow town," she mumbled. She sat atop one of the larger headstones, waiting for the new vamp to arise. _I hope this doesn't take long,_ she thought. And just as she thought it, she heard a low growl and hands appearing on the fresh dirt. "Ooh. Goody!" She twirled Mr. Pointy, waiting for the vamp to make an appearance. The growl got louder as he managed to free his head. The yellow eyes, bumpy forehead and fangs made all of them look the same. "Welcome to the real world," she said as she staked him. "Ha. Or not. Whatever." She continued her walk through the graveyard, hoping to find something more exciting to kill.

After walking aimlessly for what seemed like hours, she ended up in the same park she had dreamt about. The giant full moon made everything brighter than normal. The yellow orb reflected on the calm waters. There was no wind, but Buffy felt a cool chill come over her. She wrapped her arms around herself and rubbed her arms, hoping the friction from her cold fingers would help. _I hope the strange quietness doesn't mean a new big bad is coming. I don't know if I could handle anything worse than the First. Hell, Glory almost won. And the Master. I can't die again._ She saw—in a flash—her life. Before she knew she was the Slayer. Before she dealt with the Master, before she died. _I don't even care anymore. _She gazed over the waters, seeing how calm it was. Soothing. _I need to get home…_

_Riiiiiiiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiiiing. _Buffy awoke to the sound of her cell phone going off. She looked at her clock. 2:30 a.m... She'd only slept for a couple hours. "Hello?" she answered sleepily.

"It's Angel. I've found some stuff on the girl. I'm flying over. I just thought I'd give you a heads up. I'll be there by tomorrow night."

"Thanks. I'll—uh—see you then?" she said, still half asleep. Click. _Tomorrow's going to be interesting, _she thought as she drifted back to sleep.

She was at the park again—as if picking up where the previous night left off. She was standing beside Spike. She wanted to hold him to her, to never let him go. "Spike," she whispered in awe. "I thought you died, you know, a second yet final time? Not that I'm complaining. I'm glad to see you. I miss you," she rambled, then slowed to screeching halt.

He gazed at her with his piercing blue eyes. "I didn't want to leave you, luv. You or Nibblet. But you can't get rid o' me. No matter what you do."  
"Good. Because I never want you to leave my side, Spike. I can't believe it's you. I miss you so much," she whispered again. She tried to hug him, but he stopped her. He was holding something in his other arm, where she couldn't see at first.

"Buffy," he mumbled, "you have to take care of her." He moved his arm around, letting her see what he was holding. It was a baby. She—Buffy assumed since Spike had said "her"—had her face covered. Buffy reached for the baby. Spike let her take her, his eyes carefully watching two of girls he loves. Buffy carefully removed the blanket that was covering the baby's face. She looked into the most innocent face she'd ever seen. The baby looked up, and Buffy saw what she was scared to see. The matching blue eyes on a girl she had seen just the previous day—the eyes that could only come from one person: the baby's father. Spike looked between the two. A smile erupted from his face.

"You have to protect her," Spike insisted.

"Spike… she is _yours_?"

Buffy waited for Spike's answer. A look of confusion was scrawled across her face. She didn't know vampires could have children. "Spike," she whispered, looking between him and the baby. "How—how is this possible?"  
"Anything is possible, pet. It will all be explained soon."  
Buffy was shaking. She knew the dream was coming to an end. _No,_ she thought. _I can't go yet. I need more information. I can't let him go again!_

"Don't worry, luv. I'll be here when you come back."

Buffy opened her eyes to see her sister sitting next to her. Worry lines filled the girl's forehead.

"Buffy, are you okay? I walked by your door and heard you groaning. I came in and you were shaking. I called out but you didn't answer," Dawn said frantically. "Are you okay?" she repeated.

"Umm. Maybe," she said as she sat up. Her head was whirling from the information her subconscious had just given her. Then she remembered the call she got earlier that morning. She checked her phone. _Yep. He did call._ She sighed as she thought to herself. "Angel's coming," she said quietly. "I talked to him yesterday about some stuff. I've already told Willow and Robin. I guess I better tell you, too, Dawnie."

"Tell—tell me what?" Dawn was taken aback. _Angel's coming? Oh no. It's some new bad! That's why she hasn't said anything yet. That's why he's coming! Oh no…_

"It's about this new girl at school that Robin made me talk to. Her name is Selena." Buffy launched into the whole story. Everything she told Angel. Even the dream she just had. "I think you were right about the dream being one of the slayer-y prophetic-y types."

"But, Buffy—" Dawn whispered, confused. "Spike was holding a baby. Selena's my age, right? What does that mean?"  
"I don't know. We need to get to the magic shop. I need to call Selena and tell her to meet us there this afternoon." Buffy looked at the clock: 10:30. Not including the call from Angel, she had slept for almost ten hours. That hasn't happened in such a long time. _That lavender worked a lot more than I had anticipated._


	6. Chapter 6

Buffy had brought Selena's file home. She opened it and saw the girl's new address and phone number. She called and a woman picked up. "Hi. This is Buffy Summers. Is Selena there? Thanks. Hey. Can you still meet me this afternoon? You know the shop on Elm and Winter? Yeah the magic shop by the gym. Around four? Sounds great. See you then." _Well, that was easy. _

Buffy and the girls piled into the car and drove to the shop, which Willow had named "Maclay's Magic Shoppe," inspired by Tara. Willow made sure no dark magic was allowed in the shop, and if there was any books on it, she locked it away in an area much like the cage in the library from the original Sunnydale High. Willow promised Buffy after Tara's death that she would never touch the stuff again, and only do simple spells that didn't hurt anything, very much like the truth spell they would be doing on Selena.

"Will, are you sure you can do this without Selena knowing? I mean, I don't know much about her, but we need to," Buffy said after explaining the new dream to Willow. "Spike said I needed to protect her. First, we have to find out more about her. I don't even know what to ask!" Buffy paced as she ranted. Willow sat in a chair at the round table that was in the back of the room.

"Maybe we should start with the basics? Like what her full name is, when she was born, if she thinks what she saw was a vampire?"  
"I don't think this is a good idea anymore," Buffy confessed. "I mean, Angel's coming in tonight. Maybe he has a lot more information that I thought. Maybe we should wait."

"Well, I mean, yeah. We can," Willow said, not sure what to do anymore. "But isn't she going to be over here soon. What're you going to talk about when she gets here? It can't just be like, 'Hi, Selena. I think your dad was my lover, and oh by the way, he was vampire,'" Willow half-joked.

"Not funny," Buffy said blankly. "I don't know. I told Dawn about all this, too. She's going to be keeping an eye on her at school when she can. Not like there's a lot of time left. Robin doesn't know about the dreams. He just knows what little I told him about how I think her story was made up. I called Giles, too, to see if he could do a little research for me. With the whole vampires having kids thing. It's wiggin' me out," Buffy admitted.

"Oh, sweetie…" Willow said as she got up to hug her friend. "I'm so sorry you're going through this."

"It'll be okay," Buffy hoped. "But still, what are we going to do?" Buffy looked at the clock; 3:47. _Selena will be here soon._

"We could just introduce her to some of the girls. Let her see the gym." Willow suggested.

"Maybe. It'd be better than nothing… I wonder when Angel's flight will be getting in," she said, mostly to herself.

Selena walked in at precisely four o'clock. _At least she's punctual,_ Buffy thought. She showed Selena around a little, introducing her to Willow, and Dawn. They walked into the gym.  
"Who are all these girls?" Selena asked, looking around. There were about twelve teens, excluding Dawn.  
"These are some of our friends," Dawn said. "They-uh- found themselves in need of some help. We offer free self-defense classes." As she talked, about half of the girls began sparring. The other half were either doing stretches or practicing some gymnastics. There wasn't really any weight lifting equipment, because slayers don't really need to build muscles. They just work the ones they have, using their own weight, or the weight of their opponent.

Faith watched the ones that were sparring, critiquing them on certain moves, and then she noticed the audience. She told them to keep it up and walked over to meet and greet.

"Hey, B. Who's this?" she asked.

"Faith, this is Selena. Selena, Faith."

"Nice to meet you," Selena said, offering her hand for Faith to shake. Faith accepted, wondering if the girl was another slayer.

"Is she—" Faith began.

"Just visiting," Buffy finished. "She's just having a look around. She's new to the school, and I thought she might want to make some friends. Do you recognize any of them?" she asked, returning her focus to the unusual guest.  
"I've seen a few of them at school," Selena answered. "I think I have a class with her. And her." She pointed to Vi and Rona. Vi was stretching on a balance beam. Rona was sparring with Shannon, one of the girls who lived with Faith. "So, why did you want to meet me somewhere that wasn't school, Ms. Summers?" Selena looked at her questioningly. Faith raised an eyebrow as she realized what the girl had said. _Ms Summers? Ha. I bet B loves that._ Although Buffy and Selena were roughly the same height, whenever Buffy saw those eyes, she wanted to fall to her knees.

"Umm. I told Willow and Dawn about what you told me. I hope you don't mind. But we know a little about this stuff. Come on, let's go talk in the shop," Buffy said, leading the girl away from the others. "I'm sorry if I overstepped my boundaries, Selena," Buffy told her as they walked into the shop again.

"Oh, it's fine. Really," she insisted. "If you trust them, then so do I." Buffy masked her concern as she walked to the back of the store, where she and Willow were earlier. Both Willow and Dawn had already taken their seats.

"Okay, so Selena, can you tell your story again? Where you think you saw, whatever it was you saw?" Buffy said as she flipped through a book she had laid out previously.

"Sure." Selena told the story, word for word from when she told it to Buffy. When she was done, Buffy looked up from the book she had flipped through.

"Is this what you saw?" Buffy turned to book to Selena. A picture of a vampire was on the page, complete with the bumpy forehead and fangs.

"Y-yeah." Selena stuttered. "That's it." Selena looked a little scared. Buffy couldn't tell if it was because she was being confronted with something that scared her, or because she was lying about something.

"How did you know how to kill it?" Willow asked.

"I read _Dracula_ at my old school," Selena said nonchalantly.

"Why did you move to Cleveland?" Dawn questioned.

"My parents didn't want to go too far. They like Ohio. My mom is a doctor, and my dad is a dentist. They heard STA was a great school." Selena said with a grin. "Plus, they were offered really good salaries."

Everyone was silent for a time. Willow's grandfather clock in her office began to go off, letting them know it was five now. "Well, I have to close up now," Willow said, initiating a good-bye was in order, standing and ushering them out of the back room.

"Yeah, I have to go anyway. Mom doesn't like for me to be late to dinner. I'll see you on Monday, Dawn? Ms. Summers?"

"Yeah," Dawn and Buffy said in unison.

"Please, call me 'Buffy,'" she insisted.

"Okay. Bye Buffy. Nice to meet you, Dawn. You too, Willow," Selena said, as she walked across the store and out the door.


	7. Chapter 7

As Selena left the store, a mass of tension left the air. The three of let out a deep sigh, as if they had been holding their breath for the past hour. The trio followed her out and watched her drive away. "So not fair," Dawn complained as Willow locked the door behind them.

"What now?" Buffy chuckled.

"She's younger than I am, but she gets to drive! This world is so unfair!"  
"Life's not fair," Buffy said as she felt her pocket vibrate. She dug out her phone. Angel was calling.  
"Hello?" she said.  
"Buffy. I'm at the airport. I can't leave for a while. The sun is still up… Could you come pick me up?"

"Um, sure. I'll be there in about 45 minutes." Beep. "Well, Angel's in town," she said to Willow and Dawn. "He wants me to pick him up at the airport. Do you mind coming with me? Willow, could Kennedy take your car and take the girls? We, as in all four of us, need to go over whatever it is he's going to tell us. We'll do it at my house." Buffy looked to Willow.

"Sure, Buffy. Let me go tell her what's going on," Willow said as she walked toward the gym.

"Dawn? Do you mind?" Buffy asked sincerely.

"No. I want to come with you. I was willing to beg," she said with a smile. Willow came back, and the trio got into the car.

Xander walked into his apartment, feet dragging, eyes heavy. He walked into the kitchen, making himself a sandwich and grabbing a beer.

"Hey, Xander," Andrew said. He was reading one of the many comics—or as Andrew put it, "graphic novels"—he had managed to salvage from Sunnydale.

"Andrew," was all Xander said. He sat down in his recliner and turned on the television.

"How was work?" Andrew asked, trying to be a good roommate.

"Work." Xander wasn't thrilled with the living arrangements, but rent was cheap and he wasn't in a house full of women. _Just one woman I want to be in a house with. But she died saving him… Oh Anya. _Xander tried to keep his feelings in check, but he's been having so many dreams about her lately. He just wanted to cry. He ate, and he drank his beer. He hasn't felt the effects of alcohol is a long time, but never drank enough to drown himself in sorrows. Just enough to feel a little numb. Though it was only a little after five, he wanted to sleep. He wanted to see her beautiful face again, even if it is just in his dream. He looked at Andrew, who was quietly reading a battered copy of Superman. He didn't talk as much as he used to. Neither did Xander. Neither seemed to mind, but it was just so quiet all the time.

"Well, I'm going to get a shower. Maybe hit the hay early tonight," Xander said to Andrew. He threw the bottle in the trash, and headed to his room. As Xander started the water, he felt the grief build up in his chest. He stepped in, and the hot water only added to the feeling. He braced himself against the wall and started to cry. _It just hurts so much. I miss her. Why? Why did she have to die?_

_She'll be back,_ a voice whispered.

He looked up, startled by the voice. He looked around the bathroom, but no one was there. He finished his shower, more quickly than he had originally anticipated. He dressed in pajamas and walked back into the living room, asking Andrew if he had heard anything. Andrew looked at him, confused. "No… Are you okay, Xander?" Andrew replied, looking worried.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just thought I heard something. I'm gonna lie down." Xander walked back to his room. "Thanks for asking though," he said as he shut the door.

He lied down, trying so hard not to think about the voice he heard. He'd never heard a voice like that before. _I just don't understand._ He thought about it until his head began to ache.

_You'll understand soon,_ whispered the same voice. Xander sat up and looked around. Nothing. No one. "I really hope this isn't one of those things, like with the First," he mumbled to himself. He lied down once more and closed his eyes. He finally drifted to sleep.

_That was reckless! You shouldn't have talked to him!_

_You're talking to the Slayer. What's the difference?_

_The difference is, she is used to it. She knows of us, of what we do, and our place in this world. He does not!_

_I just wanted to give him hope. I hate seeing them so miserable._

He was walking through what looked like a park. He had seen one similar close to Buffy's new home. Kids were playing on the swings and see-saws. There were monkey bars, and a tetherball pole. He sat on a bench close to the lake. It was a pretty day, though the clouds covered the sun. Warm, but he felt a chill go down his spine. He looked up as the sun came out and saw a radiant blonde standing near the rail. Her hair lay just past her shoulders. She was wearing a red dress, form-fitting. _Is that her? _he asked himself. _Please God, let that be her._ He found himself already standing and walking toward the mysterious blonde before he had even thought it. He came to her side and pretended to stare into the lake. He looked in his peripheral and noticed she was already looking at him, a smile spread across her face. He looked straight to her. "Anya. Oh, it's you!" he exclaimed. He hugged her tightly. "I've missed you, Anya. I need you so much! I feel so—so empty without you." He felt tears forming in his eyes. "I've never been so happy," he whispered.

"Xander," she whispered back. Her arms clung tightly to his back. "I've missed you, too, sweetheart."

"I never want to be without you again," he proclaimed.

"You're going to have to be a bit longer. It's not my time to come back yet."

"Not your time? But Anya, you're here! Don't leave, please don't leave!" he begged.

"I'll be here when you come back," she promised.

Xander awoke, cursing himself for giving in to such a beautiful dream. He felt tears run down his face and noticed that his pillow was already wet from them. _How long had I been crying? I probably fell asleep crying and just never stopped,_ he realized. He looked at the clock: 5 in the morning. Ten hours of sleep. That hasn't happened in years. He was thankful that he dreamt so solidly to such a great dream.


	8. Chapter 8

Angel was waiting outside when Buffy pulled up. The sun was low enough that the surround buildings cast shadows across the town. He hopped into the front seat, noticing Willow and Dawn had come with her. "Dawn, Willow," he said as he shut the door. "Buffy."

"Hi, Angel," the girls all said at once.

The drive was silent the entire half hour it took to get home.

"So, what was so important that you could tell me over the phone?" Buffy said as they sat down in the living room.

"It's just so much," he began, "there's no way I could tell you all this and not be here. And, I had to show you this." He brandished a thick folder and handed it to Buffy. Buffy opened it to reveal a picture of Selena, the one she faxed him earlier. "There was a time, when Drusilla first changed Spike that they weren't with us." He was referring to himself—Angelus rather—and Darla, his sire. "It wasn't long, just a few months. We didn't hear anything from them, but we weren't looking out for them though. I didn't think anything of it until you called. I have tracked down everything I could, and that's saying something. I have a friend in law enforcement, and she helped me." Buffy looked through the first few pages of the file.

"Adoption papers?"

"Yep. And not just once. She's been adopted several times since 1880—the year William Pratt became Spike."

"So Selena—she isn't sixteen? She's like, a hundred twenty-four!" Willow calculated.

"Yes. But she has aged since 1898. It says she was dropped off at an orphanage in Greece as a baby. She aged normally."

"So, wait. Selena _actually_ is Spike and Drusilla's child? Is that even possible? How is that possible?" Dawn questioned.

"I—I already knew that," Buffy mumbles. "The eyes," she said as she stared at Selena's picture, "there's no way those could belong to someone who isn't of Spike's lineage. Not to mention the pale skin and the black hair." She tried to lighten the mood with the second half, trying to bring them away from the sentimentality of how she felt. She continued to tell them about her dreams. "I don't know if they're slayer prophetic-y, but they feel real every time I'm in them." _Sometimes I don't even want to leave._

Angel looked very disturbed about what he had just heard. _I know she said he was in her heart, but I had no idea how deep. He sacrificed himself. To save her. To save the world. He loved her with and without a soul. He was still good. If I lose mine, I'm pure evil. I'm no good for her, for them. _He suddenly found himself hugging Buffy. "I'm so sorry, Buffy. I hate you have to go through the pain of not having him," he whispered in her ear.

Shocked by the sudden show of emotion, Buffy discovered herself hugging him back and thanking him for coming, for helping.

"A-hem." Either Dawn or Willow cleared her throat to get the two's attention. They broke their hug, Buffy whipped the bubbling tears from her eyes.  
"So, how is this possible? Vampires can't have kids." Dawn asked.

"Now that, I don't know," Angel confessed. "I've been a vampire for over 200 years, and I don't even know how it's possible."

"I'm still waiting on Giles to call back. Do you think it's too late to call? I haven't tried since yesterday morning," Buffy wondered aloud.

"It's seven here. So it's like, one in the morning there. But go for it! We need to figure this out!" Willow demanded as she handed Buffy the phone.

Riiiiiiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing. Come on, Giles. Answer the damn—

"Hullo?" Giles said.

"Giles. Any word on the vampire-baby thing?" Buffy asked. "Ooh. Wrong choice of words. Sorry. I meant, any word on if vampires can have babies?"

"Buffy, you do realize it's after one in the morning, right?"

"Yes, but it's been over a day, and you never called me back. This is urgent!" Buffy tried her best to make it be as important to him as it was to herself. _Not going to happen. He never liked Spike. Tolerated, yes. Liked, not so much._

"Yes, I realize it's urgent, but there are other matters going on than a girl that happens to look like Spike and Drusilla."  
"Not over here there isn't. Besides, I think she may be in danger," she said, trying to push him a little harder.

"Oh dear Lord," he said, realizing she may be pushing this harder than necessary. "And why do you think that?"

"Because, Spike told me I needed to protect her. In my dream last night. And I'm worried that it's a prophetic-y slayer dream. Giles, please. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."

"Oh, all right. I think I know where I need to look. Hang on a minute, will you?"

"Oh, great. Mr. Watcher is putting me on hold," she told the others. After waiting a lot more than just a minute, Giles returned.  
"Dear Lord," he said again, only this time, much more troubled.

"What is it?" Buffy put the phone on loudspeaker so everyone could hear and she wouldn't have to repeat anything.

"It seems that it has happened before. A lot actually. In Greek lore, they were known as sirens. In other places, they were called Incubus, and Succubus."

"Yes," Angel said. "Vampires and human forming demons are- were known as that because of the beauty and seduction roles they played. I've never heard of any of them ever having children with their human counterparts though."

_Oh God,_ Buffy thought, _I could've gotten pregnant so many times. I only slept with Angel once, but I slept with Spike… Oh, God!_

"Oh, hello, Angel. However, though the Incubi and Succubae were demons and only -er- had relations with humans, it was only those with 'other abilities' that were considered part of these creatures."  
"Abilities like what?"  
"Abilities they had when they were human. Like pre-cognition. Like what Drusilla had when she was human."


	9. Chapter 9

"What does precognition have to do with being a succubus?" Willow asked.

"Nothing. And everything. It's not the fact that it was precognition. It's the fact that it is something that makes one more than human. Or in Drusilla's case now, more than a vampire. She sees things others do not. She may not even be aware of this. Usually once the succubus has had her way with her victim, she kills him," Giles explained.  
"But why didn't Dru kill Spike, then?" Dawn asked. "I mean, I'm glad she didn't, but I'm just wondering why?"

"Because Dru wanted a plaything. Something to follow her around, do as she wished. She saw that in William," Angel explained, looking dark as he remembered his sinister past. "I had Darla at the time, and she wanted someone, too. Darla even told her to '_just take the first drooling idiot that comes along,_'" he quoted.

"That was the night he professed his love to Cecily. And she turned him down. She said he was 'beneath her.' He must have been so heartbroken." _And I said the same thing. I was such a bitch to him. But he never let me down. All he ever did was love me, and I used him, and I turned him away._ "We did a lot of talking," she said as Willow, Dawn, and Angel looked at her questioningly.

"Right, well. It says here that once the act is complete, it is only a short time that the succubus would be great with child. A short time being three months, rather than nine. She wouldn't be noticeably pregnant. Vampiric bodies can't change much. And blood carries the most of the basic nutrients, so the baby would healthy," Giles paraphrased from what he was reading.

"Giles, could you send us a fax of that portion of the book?" Willow asked.

"Oh, Willow's there, too. Yes, sure thing. Another thing, Spike may not have known about the baby at all. Drusilla would have, but it's possible she would have been so out of her mind, she wouldn't know either," Giles said quietly. Buffy looked to Angel who only nodded in agreement.

"Drusilla had a child as a vampire…" Willow said in awe.

"What does that mean about the baby? Half -human, half-vampire? Does that mean she's half demon?" Dawn questioned.

"Umm," Giles began. "It says here that the offspring were seen as a threat, and often were killed soon after death. They perceived as evil, an abomination. The ones that did survive, well there's not much on them. It says they would have genes from both parents. The growth of the fetus would be quick, only lasting a short while, though the baby would grow normally. It—the baby—would advance mentally very quickly, surpassing the normal mentality of a human baby. It would look normal, and it would even have a heartbeat. It wouldn't _need_ to drink blood, although it would receive nutrients either way. It would have the agility of a vampire, but the pureness of a human. It would have a soul."

They sat in silence as they tried to comprehend everything Giles had told them.

"Well, if that is all, I would like to get some sleep," Giles finally said, disheartened.

"Sure, Giles. Thanks," Buffy said as she hung up.

Giles wiped his glasses with his shirttail. "Good Lord," he whispered as he poured himself a rather large glass of scotch.

"Well, that seems rather dangerous," Willow whispered. The others looked at her, wondering what she meant. "I mean, a really smart girl, forever at eighteen years old, and is the daughter of two of your old nemeses. Everything about that screams 'dangerous.'"

"But—Why would Spike, dream Spike, tell me to keep her safe?"

"Maybe someone's after her," Angel said grimly.

"We'll get into research mode tomorrow," Dawn insisted. _Beeeep. Beeeep. Beeeep. _The fax machine was going off, receiving the pages Giles had sent. "Hey, I know what this is from," she said as she picked up the printed pages. "This is from _Vampyr_," Dawn said.

"The first book Giles gave me? It probably would've helped if I had read that," Buffy acknowledged. "Wait, Dawn. How did you know what it was from?"  
"Watcher junior, remember? And besides, unlike you, I _like_ to read," Dawn said as she stuck her tongue out at her older sister.

"But you didn't remember any of this?" Angel questioned.

"I just never got that far. You've seen how big that book is, haven't you?"

"Do you still have a copy of it?" Willow asked.

"Giles took it with him."  
"Can we get a copy of it?" Buffy asked, suddenly very proud of her sister, but disappointed in herself.

"Maybe. I have some wiccan friends that may have a copy. I'll give a few of them a call, see if they could teleport it." As soon as Willow said it, _POOF_, the book appeared on the coffee table.

"Will? Did you-?" Buffy asked.

"No, no, I swear. I only do the medicinal stuff. I swear!" Willow promised.

"I believe you. But who?"

"Look, there's a piece of paper sticking out," Angel said as he picked up the book. He flipped the book open to where the page was holding its place. He handed the note to Buffy.

"It says, 'Thought you needed this much more than I do. Good luck. Keep me posted. Giles,'" Buffy read. "Should we call him back and thank him? Or not worry about it?"

"I think not worrying is okay right now. He knew we would need it," Dawn suggested.

"And for good reason," Angel interjected. "It says here that there are actually rituals done that need the blood of a half-breed."

"What—what kind of ritual?" Buffy said, getting more scared the more they spoke.

"The kind that raises something from the Hellmouth in order to consume the world in darkness and evil."

Buffy shook as she thought about it. _That's why it's been so quiet. The same thing happened with Adam and Glory and the First. Super._

Angel looked around at the scared women. "Well, I should be going."

"You're leaving?" Buffy asked, her jade eyes filled with fear.

"Yeah, I need to check-in to my hotel. And you seem to be needing a little space."

"You don't have to stay at a hotel. You could stay here," Dawn offered. "We have a cot in the basement. If that's okay with you?" She was referring to Buffy more than Angel.

"Please, stay," Buffy whispered only low enough for Angel to hear. He looked at her and nodded. _I won't leave her. Not yet._

"Well, I better get going. The girls are probably driving Kennedy crazy," Willow said as she stood and stretched.

"Do you need a ride?" Dawn offered.

"No, but thanks, sweetie. I need a bit of exercise," Willow said with a faked chuckle. She gathered her things and walked out. Her head was reeling from all of this. _I can only imagine how Buffy and Dawn feel. Dawn loved Spike. And I think part of Buffy did, too. Or else she wouldn't hurt so much. _Willow walked the two blocks to Xander's apartment, instead of going straight home. She hasn't seen her best friend in a while. She knocked on the door, and Andrew answered. "Hi, Andrew. Is Xander home?"  
"Yeah, but he's asleep. He fell asleep a few hours ago. He hasn't been sleeping well."

"Can I come in for a minute? I want to talk to him, even if he is asleep." Andrew stepped aside and offered her in. She walked into Xander's room and saw him sleeping, looking so peaceful. She kneeled beside him and stroked his face. "Oh, Xander," she whispered.

"An—Anya…" he murmured. _Of course he's dreaming about her._

"Xander, there's a lot going on right now. Buffy's been having these dreams about Spike. And apparently, he has a daughter by Drusilla. Angel's here, too. He's going to help with whatever is coming. There's something after Spike's daughter. Wow, that's weird to say!"  
"Anya… miss you…" Xander mumbled again. Willow sat in silence for a moment before she realized that talking to her friend was pointless right now. She stood and kissed him on his forehead. "See you soon," she whispered as she left. "Love you, Xander."

"Love you," Xander grumbled. She looked back to him, eyes still closed, and realized he was talking to Anya again. She closed the door behind her and let her friend sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

"We're going to have to tell everyone else about what's going on," Buffy said. "It's just so much."

"I know," Angel said as he wrapped his arm around her. They were lying on her bed, talking about the events of the night and plans for what was going on. "Is this too much?" asking about his arm over her. She shook her head. She was thankful to be held for the first in so long, even if it was by her former boyfriend. The cool skin reminded her of him. She never told anyone how much she missed. She never told anyone how much she actually cared for him. She had treated him horribly since the day he met her. She turned him down whenever he tried to tell her how he felt. She rejected him, multiple times. He tried to prove it by killing Drusilla. He took care of Dawn after she died. He proved, time and time again, that he could love, that being able to love didn't mean anything about having a soul. Angel could only love her whenever he had one. But Spike—he had loved with one. And she loved him.

Angel felt the palpitations in her heart. "What is it?"

"I never really realized how much I loved him. Until he gave his life for the world." Angel tensed. _She said he was in her heart. But she's actually saying she loves him._ "I miss him, Angel. I've dreamed about him so many times. But these past two nights, it's been different. In the others, they were about him just holding me, or I'm watching him die for me. The new ones, we're just talking. And it's daylight."

Angel resituated. He moved from lying beside her, to sitting. She looked at him curiously, wondering why he moved. "I didn't realize," he mumbled.

"That I love him?"

"That you stopped loving me."

"Angel," she whispered and dropped her gaze. She was sitting cross-legged, now staring at her blanket. "You're still my friend. But I've grown up. I've realized that we can't be together. I used to be unable to want to touch you, to have you hold and kiss me. But we both know that leads to all sorts of bad things. I'm not saying any relationships I have must be physical, but the physical is nice. I've changed, Angel. He changed for me. I didn't notice it much then. I took him for granted." She wanted to lean against him, for his comforting arms to be around her, but with the look on his face, she knew better. "I'm sorry," was all she could mutter.

"I get it."

"Angel, I loved you for so long. It hurt after you left. Riley didn't mean much to me. At first, Spike didn't either. Angel… he loved me without a soul."

"And without a soul, I tried to kill you. Your friends. Your family. I always said I was bad for you, Buffy."

"I know." She lied down again, burying herself under her blankets. He stood up to leave, to take his place in the basement. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"It's okay. I hurt you. I mean, we're not trying to get even with each other."

"I know. Could please stay though? And just hold me?" He struggled with himself, wondering if he should. "Please?" He gave in, hesitantly lying beside his former lover. She quickly sank into a dream.

"I don't understand," Willow said to Kennedy as they lied together. "Buffy's dreamt about Spike. Xander's dreaming about Anya. Why haven't I dreamt of Tara?"  
"Maybe you don't miss her as much."  
"But I do! I mean, I know I have you now, but I do still miss her," she said, trying not to upset her girlfriend. "She was the first woman I ever loved. How can I not miss her?"

"I know," Kennedy said with a small smile. She stroked Willow's cheek, as if telling her not to cry. "Let's get some sleep?"

Dawn woke before anyone in the house. The clock read 5:30. She just lied in bed, hoping to maybe get a few more hours of sleep. After waiting a few minutes, she decided to give up and get up. She peaked into Buffy's room and saw clothes on the floor. Angel's arms wrapped around her sister. Anger filled her as she shut the door and made her way down the stairs and into the basement. She began taking her fury out on the punching bag. _How could she do this? It's barely been a year, and the first time she sees him, she falls back into his arms! Literally! How could she give up on Spike? This is unbelievable! _She took her frustrations out on the bag until she was sore and sweaty. _Stupid Buffy._ She went back upstairs and showered.

Buffy awoke when she heard the water running. She felt arms around her and realized Angel had stayed and held her, just as she had asked. She got up, easing his arm from her waist. He rolled onto his back, ignoring her movement, still asleep. She looked around and noticed Dawn was up. _Oh, God. There's no idea what she saw, what she assumed. She's going to be really upset if she thinks what I think she'll think. _Buffy changed into her 'research-y' clothes and headed downstairs. She heard the water turn off and Dawn moving about. _Well, time to clear up this misconception._ She walked into the kitchen and began setting out stuff for breakfast. It was still early, only a little bit until seven. The girls came in after she had gone to bed. Dawn told them they were going into research mode because of a new big bad. They groaned but headed to bed anyway.

_Knock, knock, knock._ Buffy walked to the front door to find Xander.

"Hey, Xan. Come in. Are you hungry? I was just making breakfast."

"No, I'm fine," he said quietly. _He's changed since last year… He's not happy. He's not cheery like he was._

"Okay. Is everything okay?"

"Not really. I-I had a dream about Anya last night."  
As she sat in the kitchen, she simply asked, "What happened?" He told her of the dream.

"It was so real, Buff. I didn't want to wake up."

"I know. I mean, I've had similar dreams. But about—about Spike," she gulped. She knew Xander never liked him, just as he never liked Angel. "Oh. Um, we're going into research mode today. Everyone's meeting at the shop around noon," Buffy launched in to everything they had discovered the previous night, including why Angel was asleep in her bed at the moment.

She heard the other girls rustling around. Dawn still hadn't come down. "I'll be right back," she said as she headed up the stairs. She knocked on Dawn's door. There was no answer, so she walked in. Dawn was sitting on her bed. She glared at Buffy as she came through the door.

"What?" Dawn sneered.

"I just wanted to explain. I know you saw Angel in my bed this morning. Nothing happened. I was upset, and he just held me. Like a _friend_," she emphasized.

"You're not crawling back to him?"

"Of course not. The only feelings I have for Angel are friendly ones. No romantic-y love ones. I love him as a friend."

"So, you still only love Spike?" Dawn whispered. Buffy simply nodded.


	11. Chapter 11

Everyone arrived at Maclay's Magic Shoppe at roughly twelve o'clock. They all gathered at the big table in the back. There was barely enough room for the twenty odd people, but they managed. Buffy had filled them in on what was going on, the necessities of it at least. Only a few of them knew what was left out and why. She didn't tell them Selena was Spike and Drusilla's offspring. She only told them that she was a hybrid, that she was an innocent, and that she may be in trouble. They immediately got to work, looking for anything that mentioned a human-vampire hybrid and a sacrifice. Though the text Giles had sent them had said only some rituals called for it, it failed to mention which kinds. The shop was silent except for the pages turning.  
"OH! OH! I found something!" Andrew exclaimed at a little after 2:30. Buffy was by his side before anyone could say a word. "It's in Sumerian, so Dawn you may have to double-check. I _think_ it says something like, 'A child born of a vampire is used by those who worship Uggae, god of death, to bring him from hell and bring destruction and despair upon the world."

"Oh, great. Just the normal stuff then," Vi said.

"What else does it say, Andy?" Faith asked.

"Umm, I can't get much more out of it. Dawn, what can you get?"

"You read it right. It says it'll happened on the summer solstice."

"The summer solstice? That's in a few weeks!" Kyra, a slayer that lived with Faith and Robin, spoke up.

"Yeah, it is. June 21," Buffy mumbled.

"Well, how can we kill it?" Faith said with a smile.

"Umm, powerful magicks. Or we can just prevent it," Dawn answered.

"Prevention is good!" Bernadette exclaimed.

"Yeah, Bernie, it is. Chill," Jerica said calmly. Both girls lived with Willow and Kennedy. They kept each other leveled out.

"So we have to save Selena. That's the end of it," Buffy said mindlessly. "Willow, I think it's time to do that truth spell."

"Hi, Mrs. Papadpoulos. This is Dawn Summers. I'm a friend of Selena's. Yes ma'am, Buffy's my sister. Yes please. Hey, Selena, could you meet me at the magic shop? We think we'll be able to help you. Twenty minutes? Okay."

Selena walked into the store, unknowing what to expect. She smelt a candle burning. _Well, it is a magic shop. There are candles everywhere._

"Selena! So glad you could make it!" Dawn said, just a little too enthusiastically.

"Thanks for asking me over. This place is so cool!" She walked over to the racks of incense sticks and oils.

"You know, each of those help with something different. Like sandalwood is for healing and protection. And lavender is for calming. It's really awesome. Willow and- and one of her friends taught me a lot a few years ago." Dawn's voice came close to a whisper as she thought of Tara.

"What happened? To her friend?" Selena asked, now looking at Dawn.

"She was killed by someone who had a grudge against my sister. Almost killed her, too."

"Oh. I'm sorry. You seem like you loved her very much."

"I did. I do. She helped take care of me while Buffy was—working." Dawn was careful not to say much more. Not even some of the slayers new she had died. Twice. "Anyway. Let's come on to the back." Dawn walked to the back, keeping her eyes on the girl, careful not to look her into the eyes though. Dawn loved Spike before anyone else did. Though it had grown to a big brother love while Buffy was gone, she still missed him. _Only he should have those eyes._

The smell of the candles were stronger back here. Selena couldn't see them, which is what Willow wanted. She had cast the spell and was just waiting a few minutes for it to take effect. Only Buffy, Faith and Kennedy were there besides Willow and Dawn.

"Hey guys," Selena said as she walked through the doorway, seeing the other women.

"Hey Selena," they responded.

"Have a seat," Willow suggested.  
"Thanks. So what's going on?"

"We just wanted to ask you a few questions," Buffy said nonchalantly.

"Okay. Go for it."  
"First off, what is your full name?" Willow asked.

"Selena Kaja Papadpoulos."

"Do you know what your name means?"

"Selena—the moon. Kaja—pure. Papadpoulos-son of the priest. Fitting seeing as my father was the son of a priest."

"Where are you from?"  
"Greece originally."

"Originally?"

"I just moved from Akron, but I grew up in Greece."

"What year were you born in?"

Selena was quiet. She wanted to say "1988." But something compelled her to say, "1880."

The room was quiet for a minute.

"Who are your birth parents?"

"I don't know. I was found on the doorsteps of an orphanage when I was a day old."

"Who adopted you?"

"Alexander and Sofia Papadpoulos."

"Are they human?"

"No. They are a type of demon. But I am not sure what kind."

"Why are there so many adoption pages on you?"

"They faked their deaths. Then, I would go back to an adoption agency. They would come back in a few weeks as a different couple, younger, so they could have me longer. Not in a possessive way, but in a familial way. I love them, and they love me."

"Okay, Selena," Buffy began, "I'm going to tell you some stuff. I don't want to get upset, but I will understand if you do. First off, Willow put a truth spell on you. I asked her to. Second off, we know who your real parents are.

"I know. Sort of. I know a little bit about myself. I know that I've lived a long time and I haven't aged since I was 18. I don't know a lot about demons, but I know that I'm part one. Or something."

"Well, your parents—your _birth_ parents—I knew them both," Buffy said. "One was a vampire. She had 'relations' with a man before she turned him. A few months later, you're born. We've recently found out that you're a hybrid. You can move like a vampire, and you can basically live forever. But you can walk in the sun, and I guess crosses and holy water can't do anything to you. And you're kinda in trouble."

"Wow. Um, that kinda makes sense. My parents told me that I needed to be careful. But since we moved to a town full of slayers, they thought we would be okay."

"You know about the slayers?" Kennedy asked.

"Yeah. Everyone does. All demons anyway."

"So they knew we could protect you?" Buffy questioned. Selena nodded. "But protect you from what?"

"My birth mother."


	12. Chapter 12

"Well, it kinda makes sense. Dru is crazy. She tried ending the world once that we know of. Failed, but she still tried," Willow said softly.  
"Oh, I remember," Buffy said as she thought about the time she had to kill Angel. "But Will, you think she's crazy enough to try to kill her own daughter?"  
"I don't see why not. She probably doesn't even know she exists. No offense, Selena."

"None taken."

"Drusilla may not have even known she had a baby. There's no way she would even worry about putting it near an orphanage," Buffy said. _She probably would've either drank from it, or just left it to die. I could see Spike caring. He would hold her hand while she was in labor. He would have made sure it was safe. I know he never hurt babies back then. He had a heart, even then._ "I could see Dru wanting to end the world. I'm not saying I agree with her so don't give me that look, Dawn. Spike is gone. Darla is gone. Angel isn't going to become Angelus. Everyone she's ever cared for, in whatever way, is gone. So, why not let the whole world burn?" All eyes were on her as she spoke. Half of them couldn't believe this was Buffy talking. The other half understood, to an extent. "Anyway, Selena, since school is going to be out in a few days, do you think you could start staying with us so we can keep an eye on you? I'll meet your -erm- parents, if that'll help."  
"Sure. They know I'm safer with you."  
"Good. How would you like to start training with us, too?" Selena grinned and nodded anxiously.

"Well, let's really show you around then!" Faith exclaimed.

She hurried them out the front door and toward the gym. Faith linked arms with the girl as if they had known each other for years and were going shopping. They walked into the main room of the gym. Floor mats, balance beams, and pommel horse benches were placed around the room. There was head gear and gloves for heavy sparring. They continued into the back where the weapons' training was done. Axes, throwing stars, maces, and stakes lined the walls, along with a few well beat-up dummies. "This concludes our tour," Faith said with a smile. This was beyond her favorite part of the gym.  
"Let's start out with some of the more simple stuff," Buffy said as she placed her hand on Selena's back and led her to the main room. Even though it was more open than the back, the majority of the slayers made it feel enclosed. "Choose a partner," Buffy said.  
"A partner? For what?" Selena questioned.  
"Sparring. We wanna see what you know since you've lived longer than the majority of us combined." Selena glanced around the room, eyeing the girls figuring which she wanted to 'fight' against.  
"You," she said as she looked back to Buffy. Buffy's face went from shocked to amused. The only brave enough to spar against her were Faith and Kennedy. She usually always had a stalemate against Faith and Kennedy always ended on the floor.  
"Let's do it then." Buffy said as she placed the things that she was caring down. She removed her over shirt as well, resulting in her wearing her black tank that she wore for these purposes. Although it had been more than a year since she had been to the beach, she looked like she had just walked away from a weekend lying in the sun. Her bronze skin and blonde hair was such a contrast to Selena's fair skin and raven hair. They walked onto the padded mats, preparing their own selves for the fake battle. _Let's just see what she's got_, Buffy smiled to herself. She knew she was still the strongest one in the room because she had used the slayer muscles more. And although she was unsure about the petite girl, she wasn't scared. Buffy was experienced. She knew what she was doing. After seven years of being the slayer, she knew several kinds of combat, including jiu-jitsu and kickboxing. "Show me what you got."

Selena's body language that had just read "scaredy-cat" now screamed "I got this!". She smiled to herself as she went for the first attack, a punch. Buffy blocked easily. _I'm just going to go easy on her_, she thought. _I just wanna see what she can do._ Selena came at her with a side kick. Buffy blocked and countered with a one hundred eighty degree twist and tried to backhand her with her elbow. Selena caught her elbow and tried using Buffy's own appendage against her. The fight continued for a few minutes. _Okay, this has taken long enough_, Buffy said to herself. She kicked toward Selena's stomach and as she blocked, Buffy jumped, did a spin kick and her foot landed firmly with the side of Selena's shoulder. Buffy was careful not to hit the girl's face. Selena hit the mat with a _thud_ and stared at Buffy. A thunder of applause erupted from the spectators.

"You're good," Buffy complimented as she extended her hand to help Selena. She smiled as the girl grabbed it and hoisted herself. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. That was great! I haven't had a go like that since—ever!" Selena exclaimed, breathing heavily. The girls around them began talking amongst themselves. Even though Buffy could hear what they were saying, she ignored them. She looked at the clock that was mounted on the wall. It was well after six. They had to be getting home so they could have supper and patrol.

"Girls, we need to get going," she said, her voice echoing around them. They all looked at her and nodded, and began walking toward the door. "Dawn, come here a second," she called to her sister.

"That was great, Buff!" Dawn said as she bounced to her sister.

"Thanks. Umm, I need to have a talk with Angel. Could you take the car and take the girls home?" Buffy said as she fumbled through her purse for the keys.  
"Really! You're letting me drive!"

"Yes, silly. You're old enough. You have your license. I trust you. Now, go straight home. And start supper." Dawn hugged Buffy as tightly as she could and practically ripped the keys from her hands. Dawn was out of hearing before Buffy could say anything else.

"You needed to talk to me?" Angel said as he appeared behind her. Buffy was so used to his vampiristic sneaking that she no longer jumped. She simply turned and looked at the vampire's handsome face.

"Yes. Let's walk." As Buffy locked the gym, silence consumed the pair. Angel was never a talkative person, but Buffy worried him when she talked like that.

"What did you need to talk about?" he asked as they continued down the sidewalk.

"Just about the whole deal going on. I know you know what Selena said. I need you scope out her place. This is her address," she said as she handed him a slip of paper. "Don't be suspicious or conspicuous." They continued to walk but in silence now. _What is bothering her?_

"There has to be something else, Buffy. You wouldn't have made everyone head out before us if that's all it was."

"You're right," she whispered. "Check around for any sign of Drusilla. If she's going to be after Selena, we need to keep all the ends tied. Since Selena is human, Drusilla can't come in her home unless she invites her. She's like a superhuman though. I think she was holding back when we were sparring. If she was, she could probably overpower me if she had to."

"Don't let her. You're strong, Buffy. You're powerful. Only the most powerful demons could be your equal in hand-to-hand combat."

"Thanks, but she's not a demon. She's a hybrid. She's strong and smart. She could probably hold her own. But, didn't Dru spend some time with Dracula a while back?"

"Yes, she and Darla both did."  
"Well last time I saw Dru, she could have easily done the whole hypnotic thing the Count did to be a few years back." Buffy subconsciously rubbed her neck where the three sets of teeth marks were. "I don't want her to sneak up on any of us. So I'm going to tell you this. You can stay with me if you still want, or you can stay in a hotel. Last night shouldn't have happened. I do love you, Angel. But I'm not going lead you on. You're a friend to me now. I'm sorry for asking you to stay. I need your help, but if you want to leave Cleveland, I'm not going to make you stay." They finally stopped walking and they were staring at each other. Buffy's eyes had begun to fill with tears. Angel placed his hands on her shoulders and made her look into his eyes.

"Buffy, I told you once that I'd be here for you if you needed me. I know I've gone back on that before, but I'm not going to anymore. I'm here until you tell me to leave." He brought her to him and hugged her tightly. _I'm not going to hurt her anymore._


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm using the song "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley and Allison Kraus for this section. I don't own the song. I think it's appropriate for this part.**

Willow found herself in a park. _I think I've been here before. This is by the house._ She saw the great lake and few trees that littered the park. It was a bright day, minus the thick, white clouds that were in the sky. She walked over to the swing set and sat in one. She rocked her feet slightly, allowing herself to move with the slight breeze. The sun found its way from behind the cumulus clouds. As she glanced up, she noticed someone standing at the rail that wasn't before. A girl, bright blonde hair, and a flowing yellow dress with a blue corset. _I've only seen one person wear that_, Willow thought as she found herself running toward the woman. She slowed herself as she closed in, not wanting to seem dumb if it wasn't who she thought. She stood beside the woman, staring at her. "Tara?" The woman turned to Willow and smiled.

"I thought it was going to take you forever to get to me, Willow." Willow hugged Tara as hard as she could.

"I can't believe it's you! I've missed you so much, Baby. Please, don't leave me again."  
"My leaving isn't the issue," Tara said, almost angry sounding.

"Th-then what is?" Willow looked at her lover, teary-eyed and confused.

"You leaving me."

"Why would I leave you?" Willow sobbed.

"Because of me." Willow turned toward the voice she heard. The tall, skinny brunette was standing a few feet away, and obviously pissed off.

"Kennedy."

Willow awoke with a jolt. She looked beside her and saw Kennedy, still passed out. She lied on her back looking at the ceiling, wondering why she had just now dreamt of Tara. Buffy dreamt about Spike almost a week earlier. And Xander, too. Why was it being different to her? Then she remembered the conversation she and Kennedy had had, and it made sense. Not just the situation about the dream, but the dream itself. _If Tara came back, I would have to choose. I would have to choose between Kennedy and Tara._ As soon as she thought it, she knew which she would choose without hesitation.

Buffy awoke to her alarm going off. _Wednesday morning. _She rolled out of bed and _Oooh!_ Buffy remembered, _today's school day ends at noon! This is great!_ Today was the last day school. Graduation was two days away, but school ended today. She was surprised to have found a sudden spring in her step. She walked into the bathroom, thankful the girls had already finished and were in their rooms getting dressed. _I think I'll fix up a bit today._ She brushed her hair thoroughly and used the curling iron to put some big waves into her usually flat hair. She thought about the clothes she was going to wear and fixed her make up accordingly. Pinkish lips, light brown eye shadow. She smiled as she walked into her room and pulled on her pink halter top and dark blue jeans. She slipped on a pair of stylish-yet-affordable brown boots, and looked at herself in the mirror. _Damn, Buffy, you look good!_ She hadn't felt like this in a while. She bounced down the stairs and started to get things out for sandwiches. _Forget this. School's out at noon. They won't have lunch anyway!_ The clock said it was almost 7:30. "Girls! Come on! Don't wanna be late for the last day of school." As soon as it was out of her mouth, doors opened and footsteps were on the stairs. She was at the door before the first girl was down. As Dawn passed her, Buffy held the keys out.

"What're these for?" Dawn asked grumpily.

"You? Driving?" she offered. "But if you're going to go Grumpy on me, you can forget it." Buffy began to walk away, but she felt a hand on her arm.

"Okay! I was up a while reading. I'm happy to drive though." Dawn almost had to force a smile to her lips. She actually looked at what her sister was wearing and said, "Damn, Buffy. You look great!" with a real smile. She hasn't seen Buffy looking this good in over a year. Though they had gone to clubs, she hadn't actually seen Buffy put forth effort to look well. Either she or Willow had to do it to her.  
"Dawn, language. And thank you. I'm in a surprisingly good mood. Bye, Angel! We'll be back around one!" she called. She knew he was in the basement, as he had been since Sunday night. She also had a strong feeling he only slept whenever someone wasn't in the house.

The drive to the school wasn't bad. Dawn could drive surprisingly well given that Buffy had only let her a few times. "Who taught you to drive, Dawnie?"

"Willow," she lied. Spike had. But she wasn't going to tell that to Buffy.

"Remind me to thank her for being such a good teacher."

Xander had just taken his lunch break. He sat on the stairs of his office trailer. _Such a nice day to be at work, _he thought sarcastically. He looked at his watch. Little after noon. He didn't have to be back at the site until one. He looked down at his sandwich. Something caught his eye right and his head darted up. He saw what caught his eye. A girl, blonde, wearing red, standing on a hill above his site. "Anya?" he whispered. He stood as soon as he saw her. She began walking away. He ran toward the woman, hoping, praying it was his precious Anya. As he reached to where he last saw her, she was gone. He continued walking, feeling like he should keep in this direction. _Where is she? I know I saw her. It has to be her! _He wondered mindlessly, looking for the woman that looked like his lost love. _I can't lose her again._ He walked and found himself in the park near Buffy and Willow's houses. He had been here, but only in his dream. Under a tree, he saw a couple singing and playing a guitar. He recognized the song. It had just come out not too long ago. He sat on a bench and listened.

_She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette__  
__She broke his heart, he spent his whole life tryin' to forget__  
__We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time__  
__But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind__  
__Until the night…_

Buffy watched the clock as it slowly moved toward noon. _This is taking way too long._ She moved from behind her desk and walked into the main office lobby. The rest of the office had done as she had. Waiting for the last bell of the school year to ring made them as anxious as the students. They chattered lightly, awaiting their freedom. Wood walked from his office, locking his door. A grin spread across his face as he saw Buffy.

"You look, well, good," he complimented, "you know, from one colleague to another."

"Thanks, Wood," she smiled back.

"Anxious to leave?"

"You know it. You?"

"And get back to a house full of teenagers? It's better than a school full of them," he laughed lightly at his joke. Buffy pulled her purse onto her shoulder. _5, 4, 3, 2, RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING. _Doors across the campus opened simultaneously. Everyone rushed from them, practically running down the halls, eager to get out quicker. Buffy saw Dawn and called to her. Dawn bounced over asking what she wanted. Buffy handed Dawn her purse. Confusion lit up the younger sister's face.

"I'm going to go for a walk. I'm gonna meet Willow at the shop. Run by the butcher's for Angel, and make sure the girls get home or to the shop." Dawn smiled and blurted out a million 'thank you's a second. Buffy followed Dawn to the car and told her that she was also going to stop by Selena's before heading home. She waved to the girls as they drove off to get lunch for themselves and then for Angel. She began walking toward the store. The streets were crowded with cars. Most schools were out now, plus the business people were out on their lunch break. She got close to the shop, but heard music. It was faint, coming from the park. She followed her eyes, realizing that her Slayer senses must have heard it over the busy traffic. She recognized the song. It always made her sad, whenever she heard it on the radio. Whoever was singing this time was doing a very good job. She was in the park faster than she realized where she was. She noticed 'her tree' was occupied by the singing duo. She found another tree close by and leaned against it as she listened.

_The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself__  
__For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath__  
__She finally drank her pain away a little at a time__  
__But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind__  
__Until the night…_

Willow saw Buffy at the corner near the store. Willow knew they were supposed to meet for lunch. But what she couldn't figure out was why Buffy suddenly turned in the opposite direction and practically started running. Willow told Kennedy to watch the store for a minute and that she was going out. She followed Buffy, but she wasn't quick enough. She called to her friend, but it seemed like she was in a type of trance. Though Buffy was quick, she slowed and Willow was able to at least catch up. She realized she was at the park. Tired from chasing her friend, she sat down in a swing, watching other kids play and rejoice at the first day of their summer vacation.

She smiled to herself and finally heard what Buffy must have. There were a few people singing by a tree. She couldn't see who it was, but their voices blended well. She swung with the slight breeze, and listened to the voices.

_She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger  
And finally drank away his memory  
Life is short, but this time it was bigger  
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees  
We found her with her face down in the pillow  
Clinging to his picture for dear life_

_We laid her next to him beneath the willow_

_While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby_

Tears fell from their eyes as they listened to the words that expressed their hearts' feelings.


	14. Chapter 14

As the song ended, another quickly began. This song was older. The gang recognized it at once. They had heard it many times on the radio while they were in high school.

_Something in your eyes makes me want to lose myself__  
__Makes me want to lose myself in your arms__  
__There's something in your voice makes my heart beat fast__  
__Hope this feeling lasts the rest of my life_

___If you knew how lonely my life has been__  
__And how long I've felt so low__  
__If you knew how I wanted someone to come along__  
__And change my life the way you've done_

The three walked toward the tree. They wanted to see who the singers were. The voices seemed to familiar.

Xander was almost to the tree until he saw the woman leaning against the rail near the lake. He walked toward her, praying that it wasn't a dream.

_If you knew how much this moment means to me__  
__And how long I've waited for your touch__  
__If you know how happy you are making me__  
__I've never thought I'd love anyone so much___

_Feels like home to me__  
__Feels like home to me__  
__Feels like I'm all the way back where I come from_

Willow and Buffy looked at each other, wide-eyed, as they walked toward the singers. They recognized the voices the closer they walked. Only two people had ever sung to them. Ever. "It's you," they said in awe as they reached the blondes.

As the pair finished the song, they looked at the girls. Blue eyes met green. Brown met brown.

"Spike?"

"Tara?"  
"Anya?"

"I've been waiting for you," the blondes said.

Buffy's mind reeled from seeing his them. She looked around. Spike was sitting here. In daylight. Though it wasn't direct sunlight, it was still really sunny, despite the cloud coverage. He was out here, playing the guitar, and singing. This had to be a dream, because the Spike she knew wouldn't be caught dead doing this. "Will, pinch me."

"Only if you do the same," Will responded. They reached towards the other and pinched. As they released, the girls fainted.

Xander stared at Anya. His tears, still flowing from the song, poured down his cheeks as he smiled. He had never been this happy in his life. _In my entire pathetic existence, she has made me want to live._ "Anya," he said to her again.

"Yes, Xander, what? Why are you crying?" she asked hotly. He was taken aback by the harshness in her voice.

"I-I'm crying because I'm happy to see you," he stammered.

"Why? I haven't seen you since graduation."

"Graduation? Anya, that was five years ago."

"I know what year it is! I even know that George Bush is president. Now what do you want?"

"Umm, just—just to talk. Could we do that?"

"Sure. What do you want to talk about?"

"I have to get back to work right now. Could you come by my apartment later? I can give you my address if you want."

"Okay," she said a little cooler. Xander wanted to hug and kiss her and tell her he loved her. Instead, he turned and walked back toward his cite.

Buffy felt herself coming back into consciousness. It had all been such a beautiful dream. Spike and Tara were back. It was bright and sunny. She realized she was lying on something cold and hard with a cushion-y something under her head. She reached her hand behind her head and felt leather. She looked to Spike and saw he wasn't wearing his duster.

"Bloody hell, Slayer," she heard. She slowly opened her eyes and saw Spike sitting next to her. She tried to sit up quickly, but a pair of hands met her shoulders. "Stay down, Buffy. You've fainted."

"I don't faint," she said stubbornly. She looked up at him and marveled at what she saw. The same face, same hair, same scar. "Oh, Spike!" she exclaimed. Before he could react, her arms were around his neck, squeezing tightly. He was puzzled, no other words for it. He politely pushed her back.  
"What's going on, pet?" he said as he tilted his head slightly, eyebrow raised.

"Y-you're back," she said simply. _That's all there is to it. _She raised to her feet, and began walking toward the picnic tables. Spike followed as she knew he would.

"I know, luv. Wasn't gone long. Didn't think you'd miss me."

"Not gone long? Well, I get that a year to me may not be a year to you, but it's still been a year!" She was upset now. She was already sitting, so she pushed herself away from him. She was expecting him to look hurt, but instead he looked more confused than ever. "And not miss you? What the hell, Spike? Do you not remember you coming back to Sunnydale and pawning over me? Then me dying? Us having a very intimate relationship?"

"Slayer, did you hit you head on your way down? I admit I'm fast, but I could have missed and you coulda hit a root or somethin'?"

"No, my head is fine. Reeling, but fine. What _do_ you remember?" She asked as they sat once again.

Willow heard chatter as she lie on the ground. "Willow?" she heard the voice much closer to her than the others. She slowly opened her eyes, praying that the last thing she remembered before blacking out wasn't a dream. She saw the blue-eyed blonde staring down at her. "Tara?" she mumbled, her eyes adjusting to the bright light.

"Yeah, it's me," Tara said with a smile.

"Oh, Tara!" Willow jerked up, only to feel herself falling back once again. She felt hands on her back that lowered her back down.

"Whoa there Tiger," Tara giggled. "You need to rest. You just fainted. Buffy seems to be doing okay." Tara looked toward Buffy and Spike as they walked toward the tables.

"Tara… you're back! I can't believe this!" Willow slowly sat up this time, hugging her lost friend, lover. "I've missed you."

"I- I've m-missed you, too." Willow couldn't believe her eyes. Tara Maclay was alive. "H-how have you been?"

"Well, after Warren, evil, trying to end the world. Then, really good, and saving the world. The usual," She giggled.

"O-oh. Um, that's not a lot for four years. And who's Warren?"

"Four years? That's not—huh?" Willow thought for a minute. "Tara, when was the last time you saw me?"

"A few days before I turned twenty, when my family came to see me."

"I 'member going back to Sunnydale and gettin' that bleedin' chip in my head. And Glory. You died. Red and Tara here and the boy brought you back. There was Preacher boy killin' all the potentials. And then I left."

"Spike not that I'm extremely happy and confused, but how are you in the sun right now?"

"What do you mean?"  
"Last I saw you, you were a vampire."

"Oh. Yeah, I'm still gettin' used to that. I came 'cross some monks durin' my travels. Apparently, they thought I'd done such a good thing, I deserved somethin'. They—they restored my humanity."


	15. Chapter 15

Willow was shocked. _Four years ago? That's impossible. We were together for half of that!_

Willow looked at her watch. _Almost one. I've got to get back to the shop._ "Tara, I have to go right now. Umm, could you—um where are you staying?"

"I have an apartment."

"Could I come by later?"

"S-sure…"

"Thanks." Willow stood and looked at Tara. She doesn't remember anything about our relationship. She sent a text to Buffy and Xander. 'We need to meet asap!' it read.

"Kennedy, I have something to tell you," Willow began. She found it difficult to talk to her about this, but she knew it had to be done. Kennedy looked at her girlfriend, confused. Willow rarely talked to her like this. Last time she had, it had been about the spell that turned the potentials into slayers.

"What is it, Sugar?" she asked sweetly.

"Umm, remember when I followed Buffy earlier? Well, I ended up at the park, and we saw some old friends."

"Which friends?"

"Uh well, Spike for one. And Anya. And… Tara."

"Wait a minute. I thought they were all dead?"

"They were. And don't give me that look. I'm not crazy. Spike's in the other room now. No one seems to remember part of the last bit of the last time they were with us. Spike doesn't know he was killed that day. Tara thinks she left with her family before her twentieth birthday. I don't know about Anya. I haven't talked to Xander yet."

"So, what does this mean?" she whispered.

"I don't know yet."

"Are you going to be with her?"

"Wha—huh?"

"Are you going to leave me for Tara?"

"Kennedy, Tara doesn't even know we had a relationship. She only knew we were friends. That's it. As for what's going to happen, I don't know."

"Your humanity!" Buffy felt like she was going to pass out again. It was just so much. She stared at him. He didn't remember anything. Not about how he felt toward her. Not how she finally admitted how she felt for him. "Spike, will… you come with me to Willow's shop? I was supposed to meet her for lunch. Something kind of takes precedence over that, at the moment. Please."

"Well, when you put it like that." He stood and walked back toward the tree in silence. As he dipped down to grab his duster, her phone went off in her pocket. She read Willow's message and agreed to herself. He hurried back to her. "Followin' you, Slayer."

They walked into the shop silently. Buffy looked to Willow and smiled sheepishly. The entire walk to the shop took much longer than she wanted. The entire time Buffy's hand tingled being so close to his, without being able to reach out and hold it.

"Willow, I got your text message." _I could only imagine what you wanted to talk about, _she voiced to her friend.

_You got that right. Xander messaged me back. Anya's here, too!_ "We need to call a Scooby meeting."

"You still do that?" Spike questioned.

"Well, yeah. We _are_ slayers. I'm going to make a few calls," Buffy told them.

"Dawn, get to the shop. Make the girls go to the gym. Yes, I know about Selena. I'll talk to them eventually. Get here. Bring him, too.

"Xander, it's Buffy. Call me when you get off work. Come to the magic shop. And if you can, bring her, too."

_Willow, you need to get Tara here, too. We need them to restore their memories._

Dawn burst into the shop, half-angry, half-worried. Angel followed suit. The blanket covering him was almost on fire. The shop was mostly empty, except for Buffy standing by the back room. "Buffy, what is going on?" Dawn demanded. Angel sniffed the air quietly and instantly, he knew the answer. _He's back._

"Dawn, calm down. I have to tell you something." Buffy slowly walked toward her sister. She whispered, "Don't freak out, but, he's back. There's some stuff he doesn't rememHe ber though." Buffy led Dawn to the back room where Spike was. He sat at the table, waiting. Dawn saw her friend and ran toward him.  
"Oh, Spike! I've missed you so much!" She hugged him as tightly as she could.

"I've missed you, too, Bit." He hugged her back, surprised at how strong she's gotten. Dawn let him go and just stared at him. Then the realization hit her. She slowly sat down, propping her head in her hand.

"How? How are you back? You—" she noticed Buffy shaking her head.

"I what, luv?"

"You left."

"Yes, and now I'm here. Why are you two so surprised?"

"It's just a lot to take in," Buffy stepped in. "Dawn, can I talk to you out here for a minute?" Dawn followed her sister back into the shop. They stopped as Buffy knew he was out of earshot. "He doesn't remember. He doesn't know he died."

"Well, does he know the other stuff? Like about Caleb, Glory?"

"He knows I died. He remembers taking care of you. But he doesn't remember that he sacrificed himself to save us."

"Does he know why he saved us?" Buffy knew what her sister was asking. _Does he know he loved me._

"No." Dawn's eyes went from exuberant to depressed.

"But he's still good, right? I mean, he hasn't tried to bite anyone?"

"That would be strange seeing as he's not a vampire anymore."

"He's not? How?"

"He's human. Some monks he met said he deserved it."

"Oh, Buffy that's great! I mean, you two can be together now."

"Dawn, he's not the only one back. Tara and Anya are, too."

"How?"

" I don't know. But I think the Powers-That-Be owe us an explanation. I'm not complaining by any means. We're just confused."

Willow had called Tara, asking her to come to the shop around seven. Xander had asked the same with Anya. It was well after dark, and Buffy, Dawn, Angel and Willow had spent the afternoon researching memory spells. After hours of looking, Willow confessed she didn't know anywhere else to look. Spike didn't know what was going on, other than they were looking for something about memory spells. _What is goin' on with them? Why do they think somethin's wrong with my mem'ry?_

Tara approached the shop. She read the sign and was shocked when she read her name. _Maclay's Magic Shoppe? I was close to Willow, but I didn't realize how close. We were only friends for a short while._ She cautiously walked in, not knowing what to expect. Willow asked her to come over rather than Willow coming to her apartment. She was nervous about seeing the gang again. They were always so friendly to her, but something seemed off.

"Tara! You made it!" Willow exclaimed. Willow smiled as if she was the happiest girl in the world, and Kennedy noticed. Though she didn't say anything, Kennedy knew that if she made Willow choose, she wouldn't be the first pick.


	16. Chapter 16

Anya sat in her apartment as she thought about having talked to Xander in the park. After she fled Sunnydale after graduation, she was tempted to go back. She had thought about going back and seeing him again. Prom was fun, and even though it was awkward, she liked being with him. He had made her laugh and feel good. She knew she had some sort of feelings for him, and that's why she wanted to go to him. Something kept her from going back to that Hellmouth. So instead, she came to Cleveland. Things were quieter than in Sunnydale. She didn't mind though. Seeing Xander had sparked something in her, something she hasn't felt in years. When she received his call, her heart had skipped. She smiled as she saw his name on her caller ID.

"Dammit, Anya! Why do you even care about him? He never liked you! None of his little friends did. Especially after you granted that wish to Cordelia! Stupid old man. Had to figure it out and take my pendant." She stomped angrily around her apartment as she yelled at herself. She realized she sounded crazy to whoever might be listening, but she only cared about wanting to see Xander again.

She made her way to the magic shop, another strange familiar feeling hit her as she saw it. _There's something familiar about this._ She walked through the door, hearing the _ding_ of the bell. She saw a large round table at the end of the room. Bookshelves lined the left wall. Candles, incense, herbs and different types of pottery was on the right of the entrance, followed by a counter with a register. Knick-knacks in cases were lined in certain places, spaced enough to make customers wonder what was there. _But people don't come here to browse. They usually know what they're looking for. _There was a ladder behind the table, leading up to a restricted area. The bell rang again.

Anya looked around, but the place had completely changed. The room was smaller, and there was no table, no ladder. Anya shook her head to herself, thinking she may have been hallucinating. Though the book cases were in the same places, the counter and register was in the rear of the store. The incense, candles and herbs were close to it. Pottery, artifacts, and the knick-knacks were on the right, lined on shelves. A circular area rug was placed in the center of the store. She walked toward the register, toward Willow. "Hi, Willow," she said lightly. "Xander called, asked to meet here. Is he here?"

"No, not yet. He went home after work. He said he wanted to be a little cleaned up after being on the job all day."

"What does he do?"

"Well," Willow began. She forced herself to remember what Xander told her. Anya only remembered up until graduation. "After graduation, he didn't go to college with me and Buffy. He worked a few odd and end jobs before he got a job working construction. That's what he's done since. It helped, too. Every time a window was broken or a door was busted in at Buffy's, he'd fix it. Now, he's kinda the head honcho."

"Oh. Well, that's good." Anya could see him now, working at the construction site. "It sounds like something he'd be good at doing." As she said it, she visualized him, lifting planks of lumber, his muscles rippling. _Why are you thinking of him? You're being ridiculous._ But no matter how she tried to push him from her mind, it's all she could think about.

Tara sat in the back room with Spike. Spike hadn't seen the girl since she left with her family. _I thought her and Red had a thing going on. Maybe not though._ "So, Tara, how've you been?" he asked, trying to make conversation with the shy girl.

"G-g-good," she stuttered. "I j-just finished college at UCLA. I decided I wanted a change, and moved here just a few months ago. I was surprised when I ran into you at the park. And the singing was a little strange, too." She smiled at him. "Especially seeing you in the day. Last I saw, you were still allergic to it."

"Yeah, well, after me and the gang saved the world last year, I became a new man." The two laughed calmly at the jokes.

"So, do you still have a thing for Buffy?" The laughter stopped abruptly. Spike tilted his head, and raised his scarred eyebrow.

"A—What? For the Slayer?" he chuckled. "That's absurd. Like I could ever…" he drifted off in a daydream. He had remembered having a few dreams, a few of them involving Buffy. What he remembered flashed in his mind, him kissing her, and something about a building falling. "I've never had 'a thing' for her. I went back to Sunnydale and got that soddin' chip in m'head."

"O-oh," Tara whispered. _I don't understand. I definitely remember a vibe coming from them. Mainly from him, but definitely a vibe._ The two became quiet once again, a little awkward, with little being an understatement.

Xander drove toward the magic shop, anxious. Andrew sat in the passenger seat quietly. He barely understood what was going on. He could barely make out what Xander was saying when he got home. He heard something like, "Anya's back" and "doesn't remember." Andrew hadn't seen Xander so worked up. They approached the shop and walked in quickly. Xander saw Anya standing by the register. He felt his heart flutter and his stomach flip. _I can't believe this._ He wanted to run to her, but he knew better. Andrew, on the other hand, did not.

He took off running toward the woman, eyes streaming tears, arms outstretched. He hugged the woman as he spoke incomprehensibly. "I'm sorry. You died for me. I missed you so much!"

Anya's arms were as far from hugging as she could manage. Between Andrew's hysterics, she whined. "Who is this hideously dressed boy and why are his arms around me? Why is he saying I died? And why does he miss me?"

Andrew, hearing what Anya said, stepped back. He wiped the tears from his eyes and backed away. "I'm not hideously dressed," he said appraising himself. "It's just jeans, a shirt and a jacket. So not hideous."

"Hey, so can we go on to the back? We've got some stuff set up, and if we want to be done anytime soon," Willow said, trying to bring the attention off Andrew and Anya.

They walked to the back room. Tara stood as she introduced herself to Anya with Spike following suit. Buffy and Dawn had joined them as soon as the introductions took place. _They don't even know each other?_


	17. Chapter 17

Buffy thought about what she was witnessing. _Well, I guess that makes sense. Spike and Anya weren't around at the same time. Anya never came back after graduation, so she never met Tara either._ Willow began speaking, telling them that she was going to spell.

"It's going to be very simple, but I need you all to focus." Tara grinned at Willow. She knew Willow was a powerful witch, and it was one of the things she lo—liked about her. "Sit at the table and join hands." She lit a stocky yellow candle and placed it in the middle of the table. "Focus on the flame," her voice was just a whisper now. She placed her hands in Tara's and Dawn's, everyone doing the same. She looked around at her friends, happy to see them together once again. Dawn, Spike, Buffy, Xander, Anya, Tara and herself. All seemed right. She shook her head to herself, remembering why they were here.

"_Mnemosyne,/ I beg to thee,/ Let us see/ Their new memories."_ As she spoke the final syllable, Anya's head rose from its formally bowing position. She stared at the space above the candle and as if a projector had started, everyone saw what she had experienced. It showed her talking with Xander, asking him to come away with her before Graduation. It showed her contemplating coming back, but deciding not to. She had decided to come to the Cleveland. She went to college and got a degree in business after finding out she liked money. A lot. She never had any boyfriends. It flickered to Xander's face a few times. The park they had visited earlier that day. And then it stopped.

As it did, Tara's looked up in the same fashion. It showed her family coming to Sunnydale. They were in the Magic Box. Mr. Maclay was telling her she needed to come home, and instead of Buffy speaking up, nothing was said. Tara went with them. It showed her packing her things away, moving, and starting at UCLA. It showed her graduating, moving to Cleveland, and starting a job. It flickered to Willow, then to meeting Spike in the park, and ended.

Spike's head popped up. It showed the Turok-Han, Buffy saying her final words, and the light emanating from the amulet. Before everything crashing down, it shows Spike running in the sewers, trying to get out of Sunnydale before the Hellmouth collapsed. It shows him traveling, through Europe, then arriving in Tibet. He came across some monks, saying he deserved a reward. He woke up outside, midday, and he wasn't burning. It showed him looking at different maps, wondering where he should go. It flashed to Buffy's face, and he decided to come back to America. It showed him sitting on street corners, singing, playing a guitar, and people putting money in his case. It showed him on buses, and seeing Tara and them singing. Then it ended.

As the spell ended, an eerie silence filled the room. Everyone had seen the other's memories. Angel had found his way to the room as Spike's memories were starting. He saw Spike's memories and thoughts as it came to Buffy, and he knew that they loved each other. But he still loved her, too. _Didn't she say something about not feeling 'fully baked'? So what? A year later, she's cookies, and I'm no longer in the picture? Sounds right_, he thought as he brooded in the corner.

"Ha, it worked," Willow said surprised.

Dawn looked at her, confused. "What, did you think it wouldn't?"

"There was a small possibility it would kinda maybe backfire and us not remember anything, but hey! It didn't!" The friends gave the happy witch a smile or encouragement. It had been a while since she had worked with spells that didn't involve healing. She was trying very hard to be cautious of anything more.

"Good job, Will, now what does it mean?" Buffy asked.

"It seems like something has reconstructed their memories. Kind of built it around their—uh—deaths," she whispered.

Andrew looked around and asked what it meant that they were back. "We don't know that it should _mean_ anything, Andrew. All we know is that they are," Buffy answered.

"And that 'they' are sitting right here," Anya spoke up. The room was quiet, no one quiet knowing what to say.

"Well," Spike began, feeling the awkward silence, "now what, Slayer?"

After the short conversations, everyone thought it best to head home. Dawn got in Selena's car, as the other girls and Angel got in Buffy's. _Oh, how am I going to explain Angel staying at my house to him?_ Spike walked out of the shop, noticing Angel stepping into Buffy's car. Buffy watched his look and said, "Angel's been staying with us a few days. There's been a situation, and we've needed his investigative abilities."

"His 'investigative abilities'?"

"Yes. Ummm, could you come by my house later? There's some more I need to tell you, but now isn't the time. I have to run an errand right quick anyway," she said, remembering she had to talk to Selena's parents.

"Sure, pet. Where do you live?"

"Dawn, come here," Buffy said after she told Spike the address. Dawn bounced toward her sister. "I need you to take the girls and Angel home. I have to talk to Selena's parents before she stays, remember?"

"Okay," Dawn said as she reached her hand out for the keys.

"Don't be getting used to this," Buffy threatened playfully.

"Uh-huh," Dawn said, ignoring the threat. "See you at home! Bye, Spike," Dawn called as the _man_ walked away. Buffy walked over to Selena's car and asked if she could take her by her home to talk to her parents.

"Yeah, that's fine." Buffy got in the car, and Selena drove off. She stopped at the stop sign and glanced over, seeing Spike walking toward his apartment. Selena followed her gaze and felt something in the pit of her stomach. _That's him. That's my father._


	18. Chapter 18

Anya, Andrew and Xander walked out of the shop silently. As Anya began walking toward her home, Xander had an epiphany. "Anya, can I give you a ride?" he asked, laughing at himself and noting to be careful with the way he words things.

Anya hesitated and turned. "Yeah, okay." Xander smiled and opened the passenger door for her. Andrew climbed into the back seat, knowing that this wasn't a time to talk. They drove quietly, except for when Anya gave directions. He realizes that she only lives a few blocks away from him. He kicked himself as he thought of all the times he could have ran into her before now. As he stopped in front of her house, he offered to walk her to the door, trying to be the gentleman he never got to be before. She agreed, and Xander told Andrew to sit tight, that he'd be right back. He walked with her up the short path to a small apartment complex. As they approached the door, Anya turned toward him suddenly. "What are you doing?" she questioned loudly, scarring him.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, driving me home, walking me to the door. What are you doing? Are you _trying_ to have sexual intercourse with me? I mean I'll admit that I've thought about it before, but Xander Harris, I'll be damned if you try anything like that!"

"Uh—um. No. Anya, no. I was trying to be polite. You know, a gentleman."

"Oh," she said taken aback. She was slightly hoping he'd say yes. "Well, I was slightly hoping you'd say yes. But I know you think I'm attractive. I've seen you looking at me."

"Yes, Anya, you're very attractive. But I don't want to have sex with you, not just yet," he said with a smile. She looked somewhat offended. "Anya, would you like to have dinner with me Friday night?" Anya paused and looked away as she considered his offer.

"What time will you pick me up?" she asked as she looked back to him.

"I'll be here at seven," Xander grinned. He kissed her cheek and practically skipped back to the car. As he climbed in, he said, "Andrew, I need your help."

…

…

"Willow, we need to talk," Kennedy said as she approached her girlfriend, who was closing the magick shop.

_Uh-oh. That's never good. _"About what?" Willow asked innocently.

"About us. And you and Tara."

"Kennedy, I've already told you, there's not-"

"Stop," she interrupted. "Don't you dare say there's nothing between you two," she said furiously. "I know you still love her. And whether or not she remembers doesn't matter. After spending time with you, you know something will come up. I can't be with you now that she's back, and you love her and not me."

"But, baby, I _do_ love you," Willow whimpered.

"You may love me, but you're _in love_ with her. There's a difference, and you and I both know it. And until whatever is going on is settled, I'm going to be staying at Faith's. I've already talked to her, but I didn't give her any specifics. I have a bag packed, so I won't be riding back with you tonight. I know this is sudden, and I'm sorry." Kennedy placed her hand on Willow's tear-stricken face. She kissed her forehead and stepped back, tears welling in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she hurried from the shop toward Faith's.

Willow stepped into the car, and slowly drove back to her home.

…

…

Selena pulls into her drive and simply says, "Home sweet home." The pair walk to the front door and walk in. Buffy introduces herself quickly.

"Oh, honey, we know who you are," Mrs. Papadpoulos said, who quickly told Buffy to just call her Sofia. Buffy smiled, remembering what had happened just a few days prior. Sofia looked as if she were only fifty, but had a voice that fit an eighty year old.

"So, you don't mind Selena staying with me and my family for a few days?"

"Good heavens not at all, dear," Alexander said. Though neither of them looked frail, they sounded it. They walked around their home with ease, even taking a moment to give each other a small peck on the lips.

Their home wasn't cluttered, nor spotless. There were magazines, books, and newspapers throughout the living room. There were a few pictures of the family. Some were in color, some were in black and white. The majority of them were in sepia, very Victorian era. _Which makes sense, _Buffy said to herself. "You have a beautiful home," she said to the couple.

"Thank you, Buffy. We've traveled a lot and just picked up some items we liked," Alexander said.

"I have my stuff," Selena said as she strolled back into the living room. She kissed her 'parents' on their cheeks and said her thanks. "I'll be back Tuesday," she promised.

"Okay, sweetie. Be careful and be good," Sofia said.

"I will. Love you." Buffy and Selena walked out the door and back into her car. They sped toward Buffy's house.

As they walked to the door, Buffy said, "You'll be sleeping in Dawn's room. She has a sunbed. She likes to use it as a couch, but it's a bed, too."

"Okay."

"Are you hungry? We can order some pizza. I'm sure the others would love that. We don't eat out much, but we could if you want."

"Yeah, that sounds great." They walked through the door, only to meet Angel virtually standing in the doorway. "Oh, hello," Selena said to him.

"Hi. Buffy, can we talk?" His brow burrowed as he stared at her. His height seemed to tower over the two girls, demeaning in nature.

"Yeah, sure. Let me talk to Dawn for a minute. DAWN," she called. Dawn came in from the kitchen asking what she wanted. "Order a few pizzas. I know you don't want to deal with my cooking tonight." Dawn went back to the kitchen, Selena following. Buffy thought she heard her sister mumble, "Thank God."

"Buffy," Angel spoke softly, reminding her about him.

"Okay, let's talk," she said as she crossed her arms.

"Outside?" Buffy opened the door and walked across the porch to the railing. She eased herself onto it and stared at her former lover.

"What, Angel?"

"No need to be angry," he said as he shut the door. He walked over so he was standing in front of her. "I just- want to clear something up."

"Okay? What?"

"Remember that conversation we had last year, about you being cookie dough, and not quite being done baking?"

"Yes," she said embarrassed. "That was a bad analogy from the get go. What about it?"

"Are you done baking?" he asked abruptly.

"Done baking? I have no idea, Angel." She stared into his dark eyes, wondering where he was going with this conversation.

"Buffy," he whispered as he placed his arm on hers. "No, look at me. Buffy, I need you to know how I feel."


	19. Chapter 19

"How you—Angel, I thought we went over this," Buffy said, her eyes boring into his.

"No, you said your part. I want a chance to say mine. Please, just give me this chance." He stopped for a second to make sure she wasn't going to talk. "Thank you. Now, I need you to listen to me. Buffy, I've loved you since we first met. I know I've been a jerk to you in the past. At first I was so cryptic. Then, I tried to kill you and your friends, then came back from Hell. And then I left you. I thought that being away from you was a good thing. I thought it would be good for both of us. But it wasn't for me. I know you tried moving on. With that guy while you were in high school, then Riley, then Spike. If I wouldn't have left, you wouldn't have had to go that low. Buffy, I'm sorry. For everything. I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I've hurt you." He was whispering again. His face was close to hers. He could feel her breath on his cold skin. "I tried staying away because being you was hard. But being away from you is worse. If this thing in my chest could beat, it would hurt, all the time. I don't know what else to do, Buffy. I love you." And with that, he kissed her. He put the hand that was on her arm around her back and the other behind her neck. He missed this. He missed her lips on his, her skin, her warmth. But she resisted, not moving her lips with his. _Buffy, kiss me. Please, kiss me back._ Just as he was about to give up, he felt it. Her lips moved with his, letting him kiss her, letting his tongue enter her mouth, and hers enter his. After what felt like minutes, he broke it. He smiled and rested his forehead against hers. She still stared at him, eyes barely different from before. He was confused about her look. "What?" he said, no longer smiling.

"Are you done?" her words coming out more fierce than she intended.

He dropped his arms from her body and stepped back. "Yes. I told you my part." He turned and began to walk inside, but he stopped himself. He turned back to her and glared. "Why did you kiss me back?"

"I-I don't know." She dropped her gaze and moved from the railing. She walked to the furthest end of the porch and leaned against the post.

"Don't lie to me," he said, suddenly behind her. She hated his stupid vampire speed.

"I'm not lying. I don't know why I kiss you, or why I let you kiss me." She turned to look back onto his face. He only saw truth in her eyes. Tears were forming in her eyes.

"Don't—don't cry," he begged. He wrapped his arms around her and held her. "I'm sorry," he whispered in her hair.

"I haven't been kissed like that in so long," she whispered through her silent sobs. "I'm sorry, Angel. I should have stopped you. I shouldn't have let you." She tried to push him away, but his grip stood firm. "Let me go," she whispered.

"No. If you want to cry, I'm going to at least hold you while you do."

"I don't _want_ to cry," she said stubbornly as she wiped her eyes and cheeks.

"Then what do you want?" She heard the double meaning in his words. All she could muster was the same as before.

…

…

Spike walked to Buffy's new residence. The neighborhood was different from the one on Revello Drive. More cluttered. He saw the address on the mail box and cars in the driveway. He turned up the path only to see Buffy wrapped in Angel's arms. He felt something trigger in his chest as he saw them. He felt flames on his face, and if he could have gone into his vampiric form, he would have. Halfway up the path, he cleared his throat, loud enough for the two to hear him. Buffy's head lifted from Angel's chest and surrounding arms, tears streaming down her face. "Spike," she whispered.

"Yeah, pet, you asked me to come over. Here I am." He continued the short walk to the porch.

"Thanks for coming," she said as she straightened herself out. She wiped the tears from her face once again. Angel moved and allowed her to go to Spike. "Come on in. Angel, we'll finish this later." Angel nodded and walked in behind them. Without thinking of any other place to go, Buffy led Spike to her room. She closed the door behind her and grabbed the files on Selena off her desk. She sat in the center of her bed and set the file beside her. Spike plopped in her office-like desk chair and made himself comfortable, propping his legs on her bed.

"So, what happened out there?" he asked her.

"What do you mean?" she questioned back, not wanting to meet his gaze.

"You and Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Brooding looked pretty comfortable."

"We were talking. I got upset. It doesn't matter right now."

He sat up, removing his feet from their previous place, leaning toward her. "Of course it matters, pet. What's wrong?" he said.

"He brought up some stuff I haven't thought about in a long time."

"Like him still being in love with you?"

"For one, yeah." She was still looking at the bed, twiddling her thumbs.

"Don't you still love him?" She looked at him slowly. She was startled to see him staring at her very intently, and very close to her. She hadn't felt the bed shift under his weight. He was sitting beside her, gazing into her eyes. He reached out and took one of her fidgeting hands. "Luv?"

"I do love him," she admitted. "But I'm not _in love_ with him. Not anymore. Some part of me will always love him. But my heart currently belongs to someone else." She never took her eyes from him. She had missed looking into the two truest blue eyes she'd ever seen. She'd missed the way he looked at her, the way his jaws set, depending on his mood. At the moment, his head was tilted, eyebrow cocked.

"Who?" he whispered. He didn't know why he cared. He didn't even know why he felt compelled to ask.

"I- I can't tell you that." She dropped her gaze, but didn't move her hand.

"Why not, pet?"

"Because. I just can't." She moved her hand this time, turning to the file that lie in front of her. "Besides, right now, we have more pressing matters. First, what do you remember about the night Dru turned you?"


	20. Chapter 20

"I remembed leavin' Cecily's party, feelin' low 'cause of what she said to me. I was walkin' down the street an' bumped into her. Then, I was in an alley, talkin' to Dru, an' she bit me. Why?"

"Are you sure nothing else happened?"

"Nothin' I can remember. Why?"

"Um—well we think it's possible that a little more could have come from that," Buffy said as she handed him a picture of Selena.

"What the bleedin' hell is this?" he said looking at the picture.

"This is your daughter." Buffy wasn't expecting what happened next. Spike roared with laughter, almost falling to the floor.

"How could it be my daughter?" he asked between breaths.

"Umm, I'm pretty sure you know how it works. But apparently you and Dru had a little fun before she turned you."

"Oh Slayer, that's…" he had started to say "impossible" but his words drifted off as faint images filled his head. He saw himself being drug down an alley, and into an abandoned house. He saw Drusilla's face, kissing him, removing his clothes and then her own. The whole this was a daze. "I remember now. She seduced me 'fore I had completely changed. We left Angelus and Darla after she showed me to them. We moved from England, through France and Italy, and ended in Greece. She fed more than usual. One night, she disappeared for hours. When I found her, she was bloody all over. I thought she had just been feeding. I brought her home, bathed her, and put her to bed. I went back to where I found her and smelled more blood. I found a baby a few feet away, layin' in some grass, and not makin' a peep. I wrapped it up and took it to an orphanage. I just assumed she had wanted to feed from it. Now, I understand." They were both quiet. They heard footsteps coming up the stairs and toward Buffy's room. Dawn busted through, not bothering to knock.

"Buffy, pizza's here." She smiled as she saw the two blondes sitting so close together.

"Thanks, Dawnie. Spike, would you like some pizza?" He just looked at her, then his stomach betrayed him by growling. "I'll take that as a yes," she said with a small smile. "We'll be down in a minute." Dawn giggled and started back down the stairs. "Spike, would you like to meet your daughter?"

"My daug-" he couldn't finish the word. "Um, yeah. I would." He stood from the bed and walked toward the door. "Buffy," he whispered, his back to her, "I'm sorry you're so upset. I wish I could help." And with that, he walked down the stairs.

Buffy gathered herself and followed him down. He went into the kitchen, away from the rambling girls. He propped his head in his hands, and sat as still as he could. He was about to meet the daughter he didn't even know he had. Buffy walked to him, placing a hand on his back.

"It'll be okay," she whispered. She kissed the back of his head, hoping it wouldn't cross a line.

She let her hand drop and began walking toward the giggling girls. She felt his hand grab hers. She turned back to him, about to ask what he wanted. He was standing now, much closer than she expected. She decided not to say anything, and instead just stared up at him. He placed his other hand on her face, rubbing his thumb against her cheek. "Buffy," he whispered.

As he leaned toward her, a voice said from behind Buffy said, "Am I interrupting something?" She looked up to Spike and stepped away, pulling her hand from his.

"No, Angel. You're not," she said coldly. She walked over to the refrigerator, pulling out a can of Coke. She kept her back to the men, not wanting to see either right now. She felt her blood begin to boil. Angel was really starting to piss her off. As she set the can down on the counter, she tried very hard not to bust it without success. The drink exploded over her hand, shirt, face and the kitchen cabinet. "Fantastic," she said sarcastically to herself. She grabbed a rag, furiously wiping at the liquid before it dried. A hand was placed over hers as she finally rested against the counter, her angry practically draining her.

"What is it, luv?" Spike whispered. He tried not to hover. He made sure the only part of them touching was their hands.

"Just thinking about some things," she replied. It wasn't a complete lie. She was thinking about some things. Her conversation with Angel. The way he kissed her earlier on the porch. The way Spike looked at her. She was amazed in the realization that it equaled each other. She looked to Spike and gave him a small smile. She walked out of the kitchen and toward the living room. "Angel, please, go downstairs. Selena, can you come into the kitchen please?" The two girls walked back in the kitchen. Spike was still leaning where Buffy had left him. He turned as Buffy said, "Selena, this is Spike. This is—"

"My dad. Yeah, I know. I knew whenever we were leaving the magic shop. I saw him walking."

"Oh. Well so much for my introduction," Buffy frowned, slightly disappointed.

"So, Spike, or should I call you Dad?"

"No. Spike is fine. Just met, so no reason to call me Dad. Selena, is it? Where'd you get that name?"

"Greece. Born under a full moon. The women at the orphanage thought it was appropriate," she said with a chuckle.

"Jesus, girl, don't you ever go in the sun?" Spike said as he realized how pale the girl was.

"Tanning is not my strong suit. Something to do with blue eyes and being born half vampire."

"She's got wit like me," Spike bragged. "As long as you're not as crazy as your mum, we'll be alright."


	21. Chapter 21

Buffy left the two in the kitchen to talk. She walked into the living room to join the other girls.

"Buffy! I'm so glad you let us get pizza! This stuff is great!" Rona said enthusiastically.

"We should totally do this more often," Vi suggested.

"Uh-huh. Sure guys," she said, not really paying attention. She picked up a piece and began nibbling at it. The girls were still talking. Buffy heard things like, "staying up," "no school," and "movie-athon." "Try to get some sleep some time tonight," Buffy insisted hazily.

"Okay, Mom," Dawn mocked. Buffy finished off her pizza in silence, listening to the girls around her, the murmurs from the kitchen, and thumps coming from the basement. She skulked down to the basement, shut the door, and watched Angel as he tested the strength of the punching bag.

"Come here to scold me some more?" Angel questioned from his dark corner.

"No. I came to get away."

"Get away from what?"

"From the talking. So please, could you stop? Just for a few minutes?"

"I will after you tell me what's wrong," he said as he stopped punching.

"Right now, you," she said in a voice that teetered on bitch mode. In a swift second, he was in front of her.

"Buffy, stop."

"Don't tell me what to do," she said as she tried to push her away.

"Stop making me. Look, I don't know what your problem is, but you need to either get over it, or fight it out. I know you worry over things worse than I do, so getting over it doesn't seem to be an option for you. As for fighting, well, there's a big punching bag over there, but there's also a vampire here, too. Take your pick."

"I'm not going to fight you," she said calmly. "Though it is tempting, I don't want to fight."

"What _do_ you want?" he asked as he sat beside her.

_Déjà vu, much?_ she thought. "I think I've already answered that once tonight."

"Don't give me an 'I don't know'! That's crap, and we both know it. Saying you don't know is like saying you don't care. And you're not one for not caring."

"Angel," she said as she looked to him, "I'm going to ask you something, and I'm apologizing in advance. I don't want to give you mixed signals or anything, especially since I've already told you how I feel. But… will you kiss me?"

All he could do was stare at her. _Did she just ask me that? Am I hearing things?_ He sat on the stairs, not saying a word.

"Hello? Earth to Angel?" she said, slightly above whisper level. Her face was close to his. He could smell her shampoo, hear her heart beat. As he realized he had heard her correctly, he pulled her to him and brought his mouth to hers. _I'm definitely going to hate myself for this._ He brought one hand to the back of her head, the other on her lower back, bringing her closer to him. He moved his lips with hers, letting her control—_No. She doesn't _control_ me._ As he thought it, he became a little rougher. He moved her mouth with his, holding her closer, feeling himself lose a little of his own control. He pushed a little further, his tongue pushing in to her mouth. And she let him. She felt him losing it. She felt his lips, his tongue, his body, but she didn't _feel._

She pulled away slowly, breathing heavily. She realized she was straddling him and pulled herself from him. She straightened herself out; fixing the stray hairs that had been tousled. She stared at Angel. His eyes were wide, unblinking. "What?" was all he could say.

"I'm sorry," she whispered once again.

"I understand you're sorry. But what I don't understand is why? Why did you _ask_ to kiss me? You didn't need permission. I definitely didn't ask earlier."

"I'm not sure why I asked. But I needed to see if I felt something, anything with you."

"And? Did you?"

"Not as much as thought I would," she whispered, trying to be as honest as she could without hurting him severely. "I'm sorry I used you. I'm sorry I was a bitch to you, and I'm sorry that I hurt you."

"I would say it's okay, but it's not. I think—I think I'm going to leave. Being here hurts, but it's going to hurt no matter what. I'm going to stay in a hotel. You can call me if you need me. I'll still keep an eye for Drusilla." He stood, grabbing his coat and few items he had. He walked over to her once again. "I love you," he whispered. He kissed her forehead and made his way out of the house.

"Angel, are you leaving?" Buffy heard Dawn ask.  
"Yeah," he said with a sigh. "I think it's best. I'll still be in town though."  
"Okay. See you later, then." Dawn stood and hugged him. She walked into the basement, seeing Buffy leaning against a wall. "Buffy, what's going on?" She sat on the stairs, blocking the only exit, and waited for her sister to answer.  
"A lot at the moment. But what are you referring to specifically?" she laughed sarcastically.  
"Why is Angel leaving?"  
"He-um... He decided he wanted to discuss his feelings. For me."  
"He's just jealous that Spike is back," Dawn mumbled.  
"Maybe. But he also kissed me. And I _let_ him."  
Dawn walked toward Buffy and asked "Why?"  
"I don't know. It felt wrong to push him away. I let him get it out of his system."  
"Oookay. So why is he just NOW leaving?"  
"Because I kissed him back. Not just earlier. But again, just a few minutes ago." Buffy felt Dawn getting upset.  
"I don't understand you, Buffy," she said in the calmest tone she could muster.  
"That makes two of us. I was so upset when he kissed me. I wanted him to leave, because he just seemed to be messing things up. It's not fair. I already told him that I love him, but I'm not _in_ love with him. I'm in love with Spike. I want Spike to remember so badly but at the same time, there are things I don't want him to ever remember." Dawn smiled as Buffy rambled. As Buffy looked at her sister, she asked, "What're you smiling at?"  
"You. You finally admitted to me that you're in love with Spike."  
"You already knew that."

"Yeah, I knew before you did. But you've never voiced it."

"UGH!" Buffy growled. "He doesn't know. He almost kissed me, too. I think. Before the second time with Angel. In the kitchen. He was worried about meeting Selena. He was this close," Bufy said as she held up her thumb and forefinger, about an inch from each other.  
"Stupid Angel. Stupid Buffy!" Dawn exclaimed as she smacked Buffy in the back of the head.  
"Hey!"  
"Why did you kiss Angel again?"  
"I was curious. I wanted to see if he made me feel anything close to how I feel with Spike."  
"And?"  
"There's no comparison."


	22. Chapter 22

Willow sat in the middle of her bed. _It seems so big now._ she thought. She grabbed her phone and pressed the number two speed dial. She waited impatiently as the phone rang "Hey this is Buffy. Leave a message and I'll get back to you. Beep." She hung up and tried Dawn's phone instead. _She's a teenager, of course she'll have her phone._

"Hey Willow!" Dawn answered after the third ring.

"Hey, Dawnie," Willow sniffled. "Is Buffy around? I tried calling her phone, but it went to voicemail."

"Yeah, she's right here."

"Will? What is it?" Buffy asked as she was handed the phone.

"Could you come over? I need to talk to you. And a little Ben and Jerry's couldn't hurt either," Willow said, trying to smile.

"I'll be there asap."

Willow laid back and wait for her friend.

Buffy handed Dawn back her phone, telling her Willow needed her. "She sounded upset. I don't know how long I'll be gone. Buffy raced up the stairs and into the kitchen, digging through the freezer for some pint-sized goodness.

"What's the emergency, pet?" Spike asked as she flew through.

"Willow needs me. Dawn, you know the drill."

"No one goes on patrol without you, Faith, or Kennedy. Doors stay locked. No boys. Except Spike."

"Good deal. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Ooo, we can watch Lord of the Rings! We just got the new one!"

"Sounds great, Bit. I love those bleedin' movies," Spike said as she plopped into the empty recliner.

Buffy smiled and grabbed her keys. "Girls, be good. And try not to bug Spike too much." She quickly got in her car and sped to Willow's. She hurried up the path, and knocked on the door.

"Hey, Buffy," Jerica answered. "Willow's in her room." Buffy nodded and said her thanks as she dashed up the stairs. She came to Willow's room and lightly rapped on the door.

"Come in," Willow said. Buffy looked to her and saw her face was tear-ridden.

"Hey, Will." Buffy said as she walked in. She sat next to her friend, handing her a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a spoon from her purse.

"Thanks," Willow said, wiping her eyes and taking the gift.

"Wanna tell me what happened?" Buffy said as she took out one for herself.

Willow took a bite of her Chocolate Fudge Brownie. "Kennedy left."

Buffy almost choked on her own Mint Chocolate Chunk. "What do you mean 'left?' Is she coming back?"

"She's staying with Faith for a while. She said she can't stay with me while she knows I'm still in love with Tara."

"Hmmm." Buffy agreed with a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. "Seems we've had similar situations," she mumbled. "What else did she say?"

"Just that she'd be staying with Faith for a while. Until all this is sorted out. About me and Tara. And if there still is a me and Tara. I want there to be. Badly. If I had to choose, Buffy, I'd choose Tara in a heartbeat. And I know she's going to make me choose. Maybe not now, but I know she will. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt either of them. I love them both."

"I know, Will, but who are you _in_ love with?"

Willow didn't even have to think before she said, "Tara."

"So what're you going to tell Kennedy?"

"I don't know that I should tell her anything yet." The two ate their ice cream in silence for a moment, before Buffy spoke up.

"I think you and Tara should go on a date. Seriously start over. She knows you were friends. And _you_ know there was more to that. So, ask her for coffee. Kennedy's giving you the chance. Go for it."

Willow, fully upright now, tensed. "Go on a date? We haven't done that in years."

"Which is why you should give it a try," she insisted.

Willow looked into her carton of nearly empty ice cream, thinking that it hadn't been enough. She thought about her and Tara and dating. She couldn't tell if the ice cream or thinking of Tara that made her belly feel like butterflies were coming out of their cocoons. She looked up to Buffy, puppy-dog face in full mode, and asked, "Will you help?"

…

…

Buffy drove from Willow's exhausted. She had spent the past bit helping Willow plan her date with Tara, although they agreed it wouldn't be a 'date' unless Tara said it was. Her outfit was set out, plans were made. All Willow had to do was ask. "The worse she can say is 'no'. And you know that won't happen," Buffy had told her multiple times. She felt her energy draining quickly. So much had happened that day. Way too much for one day. She unlocked the front door, and peered into the living. They were all fast asleep. She smiled as she looked at their peaceful faces. And how five teenagers managed to fit on one couch was beyond her. She walked over to Dawn and shook her gently enough to wake her up. But God knows how much of a heavy sleeper she is. "Dawn!" she whispered loudly.

"Five more minutes," she groaned.

"You don't have to wake up, you just have to go upstairs."

"Mm-kay." Buffy watched as Dawn lazily drug herself up the stairs. She woke the other girls, telling them the same, playing mom as she had for so long now. Buffy looked at Spike, fast asleep in the chair with his feet propped up and head facing the tv. He looked at peace. "Sure hasn't changed much," she said under her breath.

"And the fact that I can hear that only clarifies it, pet." Buffy jumped as she heard his voice and watched as a smile grew across his face.

"Jerk. How long have you been awake?"

"Since you tried to wake Rip Van Winkle." He sat up, putting his feet to the floor. He rubbed his eyes and looked to the tv. "Hmm. Figures. Didn't even finish the first one." The menu screen from the movie played and repeated. Buffy picked up the remote, turning it off. "Guess I better get goin'," Spike said as he stood.

Buffy looked at him. "You don't have to."

Spike looked at the clock hanging up. It was barely one. "I don't live far. 'S not a big deal, Slayer."

"Still, it's late. And there's a couch or cot or chair here with your name on it, if you want to stay. It's up to you."

Spike cocked his head at her. "Why do you want me here so badly?"

"No reason," she said a little too quickly.

"Mmm-hmm. Yeah, and what's the truth?"

Buffy's face flushed as she got caught in the lie. _Truth is I want you here. I want you. I want you to know how I feel. I want you to love me. I want you to know I am in love with you! _Her head screamed with words she wouldn't dare say. She shrugged, "I mean, I don't know. I was hoping we could talk a little more."

"You're not gonna bust a soda in my face again? 'Cause if you are, I'd rather not be around," he joked.

She smiled, replying, "I was upset with Angel. He's obviously not staying with us anymore. So, no reason for me to be upset."


	23. Chapter 23

She looked down at the pizza boxes. Her stomach growled, telling her the one piece she had for dinner wasn't enough.

"Hungry, luv?"

"Little bit. You?" His stomach grumbled in response.

"Seems it," he chuckled. "I'm still not completely used to eating real food yet." They gathered the boxes, taking them to the kitchen. Buffy grabbed a plate, placed a few pieces on it and stuck it in the microwave. While waiting, she took a few drinks from the fridge, handing Spike one. She placed the plate of food in between them, taking a piece for herself. "What did you want to talk about, Goldilocks?"

She rolled her eyes at the old, annoying nickname. But it just didn't seem so annoying now. "Why did you come back to Sunnydale after Dru left you?"

He picked up a piece as well, taking a big bite out of it. "I wanted to kill you, at the time."

"And you don't now?"

"Hell no, luv. I stopped trying to kill you after you died."

"What changed?"

"Seeing everyone beat up over it. I couldn't stand to see the Nibblet hurt so much." Neither of them was eating now. Both had the same story going over in their heads, just certain parts were different.

"Do you remember the time Xander conjured the singing demon?"

"Yeah," he laughed, thinking of the ridiculous songs and dances they'd unwillingly performed. He remembered Buffy literally spinning out of control at the Bronze, and he stopped her. "What about it?"

"Do you remember what you sang to me?"

"I did no such thing!" he exclaimed.

"Okay, then. What about after you stopped me from dancing to death? Do you remember what happened after that?"

"Yeah. Your lot started singin' again. I took off."

Buffy picked up her piece of pizza again and started eating. She didn't feel like eating, but she needed energy. Spike had finished his first and started his second. "My turn to ask questions?" he said between bites.

"Be my guest."

"Why did you stop trying to kill me when I came back?"

"Well, after you got that chip, it just didn't seem right," she said, warping the truth slightly.

"How did you find out about Selena?"

"She's new at school. Robin got me a job as a counselor, just like in Sunnydale. He thought she might be a slayer. She knew about vampires, had trouble at her old school. Happens with slayers."

"How many of them do you know about?"

"Slayers? Oh, there's a few thousands out there. We know of a few hundreds. Giles was asked to be leader of the new Council. They're finding them, training those who need it, or send them somewhere to learn. Every once in a while we get one here who doesn't know about any of it, but they're brought here because of the Hellmouth."

Buffy finished her food and drink and put everything away. She walked back into the living room and sat on the far end of the couch. Spike followed, sitting on the other end.

"So what did you and Selena talk about?"

"She told me about her parents. She asked about Dru. Asked how I met you and how I turned 'good.' Then about how I became human."

"So you're starting to get to know each other? That's good. Better late than never," thinking of her own dad as she spoke. She yawned and leaned into the couch.

"Buffy, why don't you get to bed? You look like you haven't slept in months."

Buffy laughed. "I haven't slept well in over a year," she confessed.

"Why's that, luv?"

She started saying that he knew why, but stopped herself. "I don't feel right saying why. Since something is weird with your memories, you wouldn't remember it anyway. I remember though." She did. She remembered what he told her. He loved her because of who she was, what she did. He wasn't saying he loved her because he wanted her, or couldn't have her. She stifled back tears, not wanting to cry anymore. _I've cried enough for tonight!_

"What is it?"

"Spike…" she whispered. She wanted to tell him. She looked into his eyes and saw everything she'd missed. "I don't want to keep anything from you, but I don't know how to tell you this either." She looked down, not able to keep looking at him, knowing there's no way she could lie if she kept his gaze.

"Hey," he said as he tilted her chin up, "look at me." He was much closer than she remembered him being. She looked up, her face only a few inches from his. He stretched his hand out, flattening it against her cheek. "What is it you want to tell me?"

"I don't know that I can. I want to, but…" her voice trailed off.

"But what, Buffy? You can't be scared. You've never been scared of anything." She wanted to tell him that that wasn't true. She had been scared when she faced the Master, again when she met him. It terrified her she had to watch him sacrifice himself. And it terrified her now.

"Spike, I—have feelings for you. Very strong feelings. It used to be loathing, but now it's something else," she confessed in a whisper. She felt his breath against her skin. She had almost forgotten how he made her feel. Her heart beat sped. Her palms started to sweat.

"I know, pet."

"You—know? How?"

"I felt it as soon as I saw you. I couldn't place it. I don't remember havin' feelings for you. I don't remember us being anythin' the other's punchin' bag. Well, mainly bein' your punchin' bag. But I can tell something is different. The way you look at me, like you are now," she dropped her look as he said that. "And the fact that Dawn hinted at it for two hours."

Buffy's face turned from confused to scowl. _Dammit, Dawn._

"Don't be upset with her."

"Why not? It wasn't any of her business." Spike had retracted from her and was sitting on the other end of the couch again. Buffy readjusted, leaning against the couch once more. She saw Spike smiling at her. He began talking about his journeys since Sunnydale, and she felt herself slipping into sleep.


	24. Chapter 24

Buffy woke up groggily. Her first thought was not only _where am I?_ but it was also _how did I get here?_ The last thing she remembered was Spike talking to her while they were on the couch. _Spike! Oh I wonder if he's still here._ She looked at the clock read a little after ten. "Ugh. My body refuses to let me sleep in," she groaned. She rubbed her eyes and forced herself out of bed. She looked in the mirror and saw she was wearing the same clothes as the previous day. _Huh. I didn't even change clothes._ She changed quickly, pulling her hair into a messy bun, and made her way down the stairs. She peeked into the living room and only saw empty furniture. _Guess he didn't stay,_ she thought. She heard talking coming from the kitchen, and followed the sound. She was surprised to see Selena sitting at the island, and as she walked a litter further, she saw Spike sitting across from her, smiling.  
"Hey, Buffy," the girl said as she noticed Buffy's silent entrance. Spike looked at her. His smile only seemed to widen.  
"Hey." She looked at the two, and settled her eyes on the only blue ones she wanted to see. "What's up?"

"Nothing. School's got my schedule messed up. Woke up around eight and couldn't go back to sleep. Did you know Dawn snores?" she laughed.  
"Like a truck driver," Buffy and Spike simultaneously. The three of them laughed briefly.  
"But anyway, I helped myself to some leftover pizza. That's okay, right?"  
"Of course. Help yourself to anything we have." Buffy walked over to the open box and grabbed a piece for herself. She stood adjacent to the two, making a triangle among them. She looked around the kitchen trying to find something to look at, something safe. She noticed Spike in the corner of her eye, staring at her. "So, Spike. I assumed you stayed last night?"  
"Yeah. Couch is pretty comfy. Knocked you out in no time," he chuckled.

"I guess I was more tired than I realized." She looked down, slightly embarrassed. "By the way, how did I end up in my bed if I fell asleep on the couch?"  
"I carried you up, pet. Just because you can throw your weight into a punch doesn't mean you weigh much."  
"Well, thanks," she said after a moment of silence.  
"So, I'm going to go watch some tv," Selena said, feeling the tension between the two. Buffy simply nodded. She still felt groggy and decided to put on a pot of coffee.

"Want some?" she asked Spike as she began filling the maker with water.

"Sure, pet." He eased around her, trying not to get in her way, but wanting to be closer to her at the same time. _What is goin' on? I used to want to kill her. Now what? I want to kiss her? This doesn't make any sense._ He shook his head slightly, trying to clear his head of the thoughts of her._ What would it hurt? She has feelin's for me. I've got some kind for her. So, what's it matter?_ "Buffy," he spoke softly.

She watched the coffee drip into the pot. She didn't turn and waited for him to continue. When he didn't, she turned her head and asked a polite, "what?"

"Umm—will you—I mean…" he mumbled. _Oi! Stop being such a ponce! You used to be able do to whatever you wanted!_ He straightened himself out and placed a hand on her shoulder, prompting her to turn to him. When she did as he wanted, he stepped closer. "Buffy, would you like to go out? On a date? With me?" He added the last bit tenderly, hesitantly.

He was close enough that Buffy could feel his body heat, something that would take her a bit to get used to. She felt his breath on her skin. Although she was looking down when she had turned, her gaze floated up, carefully eyeing the man in front of her. Small frame, but well-toned. She of all people knew that. Her eyes approached his face, fully seeing the features she felt she had overlooked before. His jaws and cheekbones defined his face. She noticed his lips, probably longer than she should have. They seemed more plump than she remembered. _Definitely kiss-able, _she thought briefly. She followed continued up his face to his eyes. She gasped, shocked to see a sign of pain in those sapphires. "Buffy?" he whispered. Buffy had to blink several times before she remembered he had just asked her out.  
"Of course I'll go out with you," she whispered.

"YAY!" a very loud, girlish scream came from the other side of the kitchen. Buffy backed from her very close proximity to Spike.

"Dawn," Spike said calmly, "could you give us another minute, pet?" She answered by bouncing away. Buffy began to fix her coffee, not really interested in it anymore, but the need of caffeine was too strong. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at seven," he breathed against the back of her neck. He turned and began to walked away from her.  
"Where are you going?" she asked sheepishly.  
"I was goin to go to my place. What would the neighbors think if they saw me come in and never leave?" he joked. "'Sides, I need a shower and some fresh clothes. Got a bit of preparin' to do."

"Preparing for what?" she said as she took a step toward him with a coy grin.  
"For our _date_." He grinned largely and walked out of the house.  
As soon as the door shut, Dawn was in the kitchen. "So, you and Spike are going on a date, huh?"  
Buffy could help but smile. She took a large sip from her coffee, not looking at Dawn. Her face mellowed out, "Crap."  
"What?"  
"I forgot to ask him what I should wear."  
Dawn giggled and said, "No worries. I gotcha covered!"

…

…

"So, um Tara, I like you and I think you like me. So would you like to go on a date with me? No, that sounds dumb! Say, Tara, umm would you like to go out with me? No… Ugh! I've never had to ask someone out before! This is nerve racking! Okay, Willow, calm down." Willow paced in front of the mirror in her room. She breathed repetitively, trying to get the words to sound right before she actually had to say them. "Hey, Tara. I know we just kinda reunited, and I really want us to be friends. Actually I want us to be more than friends. So, will you go out with me tomorrow night? Yes. That sounds the best." She looked at the clock. "Oh crap! I've got to open the shop!"


	25. Chapter 25

Willow hurried to get to her shop. She'd practiced in the mirror longer than she had intended. She usually left around 7:45 in order to have the girls at school by eight and open the shop at 8:30; however, school was out, and she waited half an hour: fifteen minutes longer than she should have. Kennedy had called that morning, tell her she wouldn't be working for a bit. Shewas still with Faith. Willow had sent a text message to Dawn, asking her to take Kennedy's shift. She had even offered to pay her. Upon hearing money would be involved, Dawn practically begged for it. "But only if I can work the register. No cleaning!" was Dawn's only request. Willow agreed, thankful Dawn as helping and insisting on being out of the way.  
Though business was slow in the mornings, Willow had her work cut out for her. It was Thursday, meaning she had to get her inventory together so she could prepare for the 'End of School / Beginning of Summer' sale on Friday. She had asked the gang to help out the next couple days, but there were very few of them that could. Buffy was out of school, but Robin helped Faith at the gym. Most of the girls preferred training and goofing off to helping. And Xander had a job. She only trusted Amanda, Shannon, and Gerti, the older of the slayers to help anyway.

Dawn burst into the store a little before eleven. "I'm sorry," she exclaimed. "Stuff came up this morning, but I'm here now."

Willow looked at her and then again at the clock. "Dawn, you're a few minutes early. Kennedy never got here before eleven, so you're okay," she laughed.  
"Oh. I must have misread your message. I thought you wanted me here like an hour ago," she said relieved.  
The woman laughed and asked, "What happened this morning?"  
Dawn walked behind the counter, set her purse down, and squealed that Spike had asked Buffy on a date.  
"Oh, that's wonderful!" Before being wrapped up in their gossips, Willow quickly remembered Dawn. "Dawnie, I don't mean to be rude, but I can't talk right now. I've got to do inventory, and now that you're here, I can actually start." She smiled and moved into the office.

She sat at the desk and began making her list. After many minutes of silence, she jumped when the phone rang. "Maclay's Magic Shoppe, Willow speaking. How can I help you?"  
"Willow? Hi, it's Tara," the quiet voice said.  
_It's Tara! Oh my goddess! I have to ask her! _her thoughts screamed at her. "Hey, Tara! I was actually planning on calling you. I got wound up doing inventory."  
"Oh, I'll c-call you back later, since you're busy."  
"No!" she exclaimed. This was her chance. "I'm not busy! Is there something you need?" she asked, calmer than she had started.  
"W-well, I—umm… Would you- like to have coffee with me?"  
"Coffee?" _She's asking me out! _Willow did her happy dance in her chair. "Sure! When?"  
"Noon? The place on fourth street?"  
"Sure. I'll see you there!" Willow waited for the phone to click before she hung up. She immediately dialed Buffy, telling her she was going to take a long lunch but needed her to help Dawn at the store. She rushed out, telling Dawn she was meeting Tara for _coffee_, that Buffy would be here soon. She was so happy for Willow; Dawn could've cared less about Buffy coming.  
Willow ran to the coffee shop, getting there seven minutes early. She didn't see Tara so she sat outside at one of the small round tables that had a patio umbrella. A waiter came by, asking what she would like. She said she was waiting on someone and asked if he would come back when her friend was there. Willow was beyond anxious. Butterflies swarmed in her belly. Her palms began sweating. She wiped them on her jeans, but it didn't seem to help. Her leg bounced rapidly, and her fingers played with the end of her shirt. _Why didn't I dress up today? It's not like I knew I was going to have coffee with her, but geez woman! _She looked at the small watch on her wrist. She'd only been sitting for two minutes.  
"Are you always this nervous?" a voice said from behind her.  
Willow smiled and turned quickly to face Tara, wearing a light blue sundress. "Only when I'm meeting you."

Tara blushed violently and walked to the table. She sat, and the waiter reappeared. He took their orders, hovering over Tara, glancing where he shouldn't. Willow cleared her throat, gathering his attention. He looked to her, noticing her glare, and took off quickly. After making small talk about weather, and how the other was doing, the waiter returned with a tray of food. Willow's stomach had grumbled when she ordered, so the two had decided to get more than just coffee. He quickly handed Tara her chowder, cappuccino, and bottle of water. Willow smiled politely, noticing he didn't try what she had thought he did earlier. She received her sandwich and frozen mocha frappe with a smile. The waiter practically ran from their table.  
"I wonder what's his problem," Tara chuckled.  
"No idea," Willow replied with a bright smile. She was so happy she didn't know where to begin their conversation. "So, umm what do you do?" _Yeah, that's simple. Small talk is good. Right?  
_"I'm a teacher," Tara said before she took a bite of her chowder.  
"That's great! What do you teach?"  
"Well, after I graduated from UCLA, I moved here. I got a job at the junior high school, teaching eighth grade English and social studies. Some of the kids are brats," she confessed, her voice just above a whisper.  
"I would imagine!" The two giggled, mentioning a few of the antics they had done or witnessed at that age. As the giggling ceased, Tara became a little serious, asking what Willow had done in college and what happened to Oz. Willow mellowed almost immediately at the sound of Oz's name. "Well, I never graduated from UC, because we had that whole-end-of-the-world thing. But, I haven't seen Oz since you saw him last. We—um—decided it was best to just be friends. I get postcards every once in a while."  
"O-oh," Tara stuttered. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I was the one who decided it though. Things were-uh- different, between us." Both ate in silence for a minute, leaving awkwardness in the air. "Did you meet anyone while you were at UCLA?" Willow asked cautiously.  
"I had a few friends. I wasn't interested in them romantically though."  
"Why not?" she asked she sipped her chocolate filled drink, eyeing the chocolate laced over the whip cream.  
"They weren't right for me," Tara shrugged. Both had finished their meals. A waiter came by, removing the dishes and handing them a ticket. As he set it on the table, both women reached for it at once. Their fingers touched, a spark emitting from the contact. Neither withdrew their hand. They looked at the other, smiling shyly. "I've got it," Tara insisted.

"If you've got this, then I've got dinner tomorrow night," Willow said with a sudden burst of confidence. _Whoa. Where did that come from?_ She smiled almost cocky with her new attitude.  
Tara looked shocked, but she smiled in return. "Willow Rosenburg, are you asking me on a date?"

Willow's confidence shattered as immediately as it hit her. "Well-uh- maybe. It doesn't have to be, but you know. If you want?"  
"See you at seven?" Tara walked off with the ticket, leaving Willow open-mouthed and dumbstruck.


	26. Chapter 26

Spike paced his apartment. He had only been here a few minutes, but he couldn't sit still. His mind was going a million miles an hour, so sitting, even staying in one place, seemed unsettling. _Maybe I should go to the gym near the shop? _He thought. _No. That'll seem like I'm stalkin' her. I don' wanna creep her out by bein' 'round her too much. _"I can't stand bein' in this place!" he exclaimed as he kicked his couch, glad he wasn't strong enough to break it. He growled to himself, not being able to think. Buffy was all that was on his mind. And the fact he had a **date** with her for tomorrow night. He turned on his stereo, hoping the radio would drown out his thoughts.  
_'Cause I'm here without you baby…_

Click.  
_All the things she said, runnin' through my head_

Click.  
_I'm just so crazy in love_  
Click.  
_I'd do anything… just to hold you in my arms_  
Click. "Damn American radio. No bloody good songs," he complained.  
_He lives in his own heaven_… "Ahh.. Billy Idol. I like that bloke,' he said. He clicked the seek button again quickly, realizing the song was "Rebel Yell" and not helping with his Buffy-on-the-mind situation. He finally clicked until he heard classical music. "Better," he said to himself. He turned it up, making it fill his mind, keeping other thoughts away. No matter how happy yet inappropriate they may be. "I can't take this," he said as he made his way to his bathroom.  
He turned the water on as heavy and cold it could go. He stripped and stepped in. He shuttered uncontrollably for a minute, getting his body to adjust. He never had to get used to water before, but it seems to have helped. He stepped out a few minutes later, drying himself and pulling his jeans on. He listened to the music once again. The percussion and brass were beginning to overpower the woodwinds. He wanted to move, to focus on something mind numbing. He shrugged to himself, thinking of Buffy's ex, Riley. _Mind numbing alright. Almost like the git had no brain. Hmm. Army. Working out. I could do that._  
He dropped to the floor and started to do push-ups. _One, two, three, four…_ He pushed until his arms were beginning to feel sore. He stood and poured himself a glass of water. "So queer not drinkin' blood." He lay back on his floor and proceeded to do sit-ups. The music still rang through his apartment. It was loud, and fast, but it didn't give him the motivation he needed. "I'm supposed to be the big bad, but I can't get this bleedin' girl out of my head. I don' want to, but… AHH!" he screamed, pushing himself to his feet. "So confused 'bout her. About _me!_" He plopped onto his couch, his head sinking into his hands. "I just wish I could remember."

He sat like that for longer than he intended. He looked at the clock, reading that it was almost two. _I need to talk to Dawn._ He called the number Buffy gave him, with no answer. _Hmm. Must be out._ He remembered going through his pockets when he got home, finding a slip of paper with a number on it. _Dawn's writing._ He dialed and listened to it ring.  
"Hello?" a voice answered.  
"Dawn?"  
"Hey, Spike. Is everything okay?"  
"Yeah, Bit. Everything's fine, I just needed to talk to you."  
"About what?"  
"Tomorrow."

"Oh, well. I'm at the shop right now, helping Willow. I can call you when I get off? Or you could come by. Buffy's here," she said slyly.  
Spike considered going over. On the one hand, he really wanted to talk to his friend. And see the girl he's dreamt about the past few days. On the other, he couldn't be around her. He wanted to be, but something in him felt like he shouldn't get to close too quickly. "Just call me later, 'kay?"  
"Okay," she said disappointed.

He heard the hurt in her voice and could imagine the look on her face. It hurt him to think of that. _Somethin' about those Summers' women._ "I'll come by later. What time do ya get off?"

"I'll be done at 5," she said, now excited. He smiled to himself, knowing he'd made her happy.  
"I'll be there. We can go get some ice cream," he chuckled.

"See you then! I've gotta go! Willow looks mad. Bye!"

…

…

_Ding_. The bell of the magic shop chimed as Spike walked through the door. Dawn looked up from the customer she was helping and smiled widely. Buffy was shelving some books. She turned her head slightly to see who had come in. She smiled, and turned her head. Spike could've sworn he saw her face redden. _Surely I don't make her blush?_ He could imagine the heat of her face under the palm of his hand, which continued to him beginning to think of things that would make them both blush. _Spike, get those thoughts out of ya head! Can't be thinkin' like that. Especially not here. Not now._ He felt his own face warm. He looked around for the bathroom, unsure of where it was. "Dawn, luv, where's the loo?"

"Through the back on the right," she answered.  
He walked quickly, passing Buffy, and able to smell her shampoo and a scent that was purely Buffy. He shut and locked the door behind him. He walked to the sink, turning the handle. He splashed some of the water on his face, trying to free the heat under his skin. He gripped the edges of the sink and looked into the mirror, actually seeing himself, something else he was still getting used to. He saw his blue eyes, pink face, and platinum blonde hair. He straightened up, grabbing a handful of paper towels to wipe his face. As the paper touched his face, he had a vision of Buffy kissing him roughly, pushing him against a wall, groping at him, them falling through a floor. He opened his eyes, and found himself leaning against the wall, opposite of the sink. He was wide-eyed and scared. Something he hadn't felt in the longest time. _Was that a mem'ry? I never knew Buffy like that. Yeah, she'd been rough with me before, but not in a sexual sense._ He tried to shake off the feeling and walked back into the room.  
"You okay?" Buffy asked as he slowly emerged from the back.

"Yeah, pet, fine."  
"Ready to go, Spike?" Dawn asked as she picked up her purse.  
"Go? Go where?" Buffy asked, a little concerned, and a little wounded.

"Jus' goin' out to get some ice cream before dinner. Don' worry, luv. I'll have her home before sunset."


	27. Chapter 27

Dawn and Spike walked down the sidewalk toward the ice cream parlor.  
"I have a feeling you didn't really want to get ice cream," Dawn said, being the first to break the silence.  
"Not true. I love the stuff. Chocolate's my favorite," he grinned, half-fake. She gave him a 'I-don't-really-believe-that-so-don't-lie' look. He sighed. "You're right. I need help," he admitted.  
"With what? Your date with Buffy?" she asked excitedly.  
"Yeah, that. And some other stuff. I don't know what to talk to her about. And I keep thinkin'…" he kept himself from saying, "thinkin' about havin' her in ways I shouldn't."  
"You keep thinking? About what? Spike, come on. You know you can tell me whatever you want."  
"I know, Bit. But there are some things in here I couldn't tell a shrink," he said as he tapped his temple and laughed.  
She laughed with him. "I'm serious though! What is it?"  
"I don't know what to do for her. I wanna do somethin' no one else has ever done. Can you help me?"  
"Of course!" she agreed gleefully. "Now, the first thing you do is…"

…

…

Buffy paced around her home, waiting around for Dawn to get home. It wasn't so much Dawn though. She was hoping she could see Spike. Though the thought of him made her insides feel like butterflies and her legs like jello, she wanted to feel it. Him. Anything he was filling to give her. _Not like that!_ She forced herself to reprimand herself. It'd had been well over a year since anything like that had happened between them. But this was different. She had felt lust for him before. What she wanted to feel now, was far from it. She wanted to feel loved. By him. The thought came much easier to her now than it did a year ago. When she came back, she just wanted to feel anything, and he was the only one who could do that. Pain, sadness, frustration, passion, pleasure… _Buffy! _she yelled to herself. She had to clear her head, and waiting around for Dawn, and possibly Spike, to get here wasn't helping. Supper had been cooked, dishes clean, with the exception of those used to make spaghetti. Clothes were washed, folded, and put up. She grimaced to herself and decided the best course of action was to beat it out. She grabbed Mr. Pointy and headed off to the nearest graveyard.

The walk—run actually—had only been enough to get her blood hot. She barely broke a sweat even though the cemetery was over ten blocks away. She slowed herself down now, like a predator searching for her prey, which she basically was. She could sense everything within a 25-foot radius. A few squirrels, birds. Nothing demonic that she could feel. She crept along the mausoleums and tombstones, making little to no sound. She walked for a few minutes, tempted on giving up. With so many slayers in town, it would be stupid for demons to stick around.  
Almost as a jinx, she felt the hairs on her neck stand on ends. She spun around with a kick, her foot planting into a jaw.

"Dammit, Buffy," Angel groaned.  
"You should know better than to sneak up on me," she said coldly.  
"You didn't sense me?"  
"I sensed vampire."  
"Oh," was all he could say.  
"What are you doing here?"  
"Patrolling. I figured now that you had Spike back, you'd rather spend more time with him than patrolling so…"

"Yeah, well, it's not like that." She turned and started her patrol again.  
"Mind if I tag along?"  
"Only of you don't get in my way." They walked a few yards, but Buffy felt something that wasn't vampiric.  
"Buffy," Angel whispered, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the—"

"Shhh!" she cut him off. She had stopped walking, listening. "Demon. Behind that crypt on the left. Take the left, I'll take the right." They prowled around the sides. A seven foot tall, blue skinned, horned demon was standing right where Buffy said he was, digging a hole. It was already several feet deep, a couple feet wide. _What is he looking for?_ Buffy glanced at the name engraved in the stone. Geraki. She made a mental note to ask Willow about that.  
The demon had used a shovel until a _thunk_ was heard. He knelt down, wiping dirt from a box. Buffy approached the demon. "Digging your own grave? How sweet. No one's ever been that thoughtful," she said with a satisfied grin.  
"Buffy, this is no time for chit-chat," Angel hissed.

Buffy would have glared at him, but she was concentrating on sizing up her opponent. She had only brought her ever faithful stake, no other weapon. The demon turned to her. Its eyes were red, teeth bared and looked sharp as nails. It grinned, seeing its challengers as small and insignificant.  
"Go for the box," Angel whispered, only loud enough for Buffy to hear. "I'll distract him." Angel lunged at the demon, fangs shown. He jabbed right, but missed. The demon swung and smacked him with the box. Angel landed on his stomach, but was able to spin and kick the legs out from under the thing. It fell to the ground, box flying in the air. Buffy caught it, and ran. She hopped on top of a tombstone and landed on the mausoleum. She set the box down, and watched Angel fight. He needed her help. She jumped from her position, landing on the demon's back, pulling it down with her momentum. After kicks, punches, lunges, and misses, the vampire and Slayer were able to knock the demon unconscious. "Let's get home," Buffy suggested, "before he wakes up. Give me a boost." She walked to the crypt. Angel knelt and twined his fingers, helping her up. Though he was confused, he didn't question her.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he did ask.  
"Umm…" Buffy questioned herself. Did she really want him to come with her? "Yeah," she responded as she jumped down. "We have a few books at the house. I wanna find out what kind of demon this is and what it wants."

"It's a furyore demon."

"Well, what does it want then?"

"I'm assuming whatever is in that box."

…

…

**Hey guys. I know a lot of people don't read this, but I just wanted to give those who do my thanks. I really appreciate it. **


	28. Chapter 28

Buffy and Angel walked into the Summers' home, grim looks upon their faces. "I'm going to call Willow and Faith. It's meeting time," Buffy said as she walked into the living room. She realized the room was empty and listened to the house around her. Amanda and Rona were upstairs. Vi was in the basement, and there was talking coming from kitchen. She walked around the corner seeing Dawn with a big plate of food, and Spike with one to match. Selena was sitting beside 'her dad', sipping on a coke.  
"Hey, Buffy," Dawn said, looking at her sister. "Have fun patr—Angel? What're you doing here?" she asked as the brooder came into view.  
"We-uh- ran in to each other. Saw a demon digging this up," he said as he showed them the box.  
"We have to get everyone here," Buffy said to Dawn. "Call Xander, see if he can get some city plans for Scranton Cemetery, specifically the Geraki mausoleum. Angel, call Faith, tell her what just happened." She turned from the crew, pulling out her phone, and dialed her best friend. "Will, hey. Get everyone here. Angel and I just had a run in in the cemetery. Bring some of the demonology books." 'We'll be there soon,' Willow said.  
…

…

Not even half an hour later, the whole gang was sitting around the fairly large dining room table. Although it was only big enough for twelve people, there were chairs surrounded the table with people still standing. Everyone had a book in their hands, searching intently for the furyore demon and the box he had dug up. Buffy sat her book down, reaching for the box. She could easily hold it in one hand. The thickness was that of a large book, yet it wasn't heavy. She noticed that around the top of it there were phases of the moon. In the center, there was a twelve tipped star. In the middle of the star, there were two symbols that looked like the letter C, one facing left, the other facing right. Similar to the Chanel symbol, but further apart. There was a cross connecting the two. The symbols protruded slightly. Buffy ran her fingers over the marks, wiping off some of the excess dirt. As her fingers hit the center, a small hole appeared. "Gerti, will you get me a wet rag or paper towel?" Buffy asked breaking the silence.  
Gerti was already standing near the kitchen. She nodded her head, and returned quickly a damp rag. "What is it?" Angel said, materializing almost instantaneously behind her.  
"There's a hole in it," she said nonchalantly.  
"It looks like a key hole," Willow spectated.  
"Anyone know where the key is?" Buffy said. She looked around at the grim faces, most still reading their books.  
"I think I found something," Kyra, a girl who stayed with Willow, spoke up. She placed the book in front of Buffy and Willow. It was a picture of the box with a short skeleton key next to it. "Says it's the Box of Hephaistina. Also known as Pandora's Box."

The room was deathly quiet. No one spoke, and no one could breathe.  
"Someone want to give us a head's up? I've heard about Pandora, but I don't know the whole story," one of the younger girls who lives with Faith, Alisia asked.  
"The story of Pandora was first told around 7th century BC. Zeus, king of the gods, asked Prometheus, a titan, to create man. Zeus became angered with man, not liking the way they had turned out. Prometheus then betrayed Zeus by giving man fire. Zeus was furious, and he told Hephaistos to make a gift to man, someone cunning yet beautiful. She was named 'Pandora,' meaning 'all-gifts.' Zeus gave her a box or urn; it was never specified which. Although she was told not to open it, she did, releasing all the evils unto the world. She closed it in time to keep one thing from escaping. Hope." Everyone stared at Selena as she revealed the mythological tale.  
"So, what? He wanted to release hope? That seems like a good thing," Kennedy questioned.  
"Opening the box wouldn't release hope," Andrew said matter-of-factly. "It would re-release everything else. Again, but an infinity times worse. Hope would be completely destroyed."  
"Goody," Xander said sarcastically. "And just when I thought things were starting to look up. So, was this demon wanting that? Or is he working with Drusilla?"  
"Both is my guess," Buffy said. "What other way to help destroy the world than release everything evil that's ever exsisted?"  
"It doesn't really matter," Selena spoke. They looked at her questioningly. "Oh, not like that. I didn't mean the world doesn't matter. I meant, it doesn't matter without this." She reached behind her neck, unclasping her necklace. She held it up, allowing them to see a key that dangled from the end of it. "My foster mom gave me this when I was born. She said I was the only one strong enough to protect it. I never really asked from what. She talked of Drusilla a few times, saying she was going to come after me one day. I assume now she wants this and this," she said placing her empty hand on the box.

"And here I thought those days of impending death were over," Xander joked darkly.  
…

…

The crew left soon after finally finding more about the furyore demon. The book only said that it could be killed by dismemberment. It was incredibly strong, but it wasn't very smart, so it was a lackey of a demon, following instructions from something more powerful. Before everyone left, Willow reminded them that she needed help at the shop tomorrow, and said her thanks who those were helping. She had told Gerti to take the car and the girls home, because she wanted to talk to Buffy for a bit longer. Xander also stayed behind, wanting to talk to the main lady of the house.  
It was past demon-time. It was gossip time.  
The rooms cleared quickly, leaving Dawn, Xander, Willow, and Buffy in the living room. Buffy hovered near the door, talking quickly to Angel and Spike. She thanked Angel for helping in the graveyard, and asked politely to keep looking for Dru. As he walked away from the house, Spike lingered in the foyer. Buffy smiled timidly, leaning against the stairway banister.  
"I better get going, pet" he whispered.  
"I know. I understand."  
"I'll see ya tomorrow night, yeah?" She nodded slightly, excited and scared. He walked to her, whispering "good night," and kissed her on the forehead. She shut the door behind easily, and walked to her friends, who eyed her in a 'we-just-saw-that' way, but none said a word.


	29. Chapter 29

Willow gossiped about her lunch with Tara. Buffy and Dawn squealed as Xander smiled and expressed how happy he was. He also said that he had a dinner date with Anya for tomorrow night.  
"That's great, Xander! I have another date with Tara!" Willow bragged.  
"And Buffy has a date with Spike," Dawn giggled. Willow clapped and cheered for her. Xander looked concerned but happy for his friend.  
"Do you know what you guys are doing yet?" he asked curiously. Though he had asked Andrew for help, Andrew had had even less luck with women than he did. But he admitted he knew some stuff, like cooking. But what about the rest?  
"I have no idea. I haven't had time to talk to Spike about it. Dawn seems to know a lot, though," Buffy said as she lightly elbowed her sister.  
"I'm going to take Tara out to a fancy dinner. We never did anything like this before, so I'm kinda new to this."  
"Well, we all are, aren't we?" Xander asked. "Before Anya, I had only really date Cordelia. All we did was make out and go to the mall. Sometimes we went to the Bronze."  
"And I just dated Oz. The only going out we went was to the Bronze. I just watched him play."  
"I dated Riley. But that was mainly Initiative stuff. Saving the world. OH! Angel took me ice skating! That's a date, right? And Robin took me to dinner!" Buffy tried to justify her experience. The trio of friends hung their heads at the lack of actual dating practice they had.  
"You guys are a little lame," Dawn said, completely serious.  
"How many dates have you been on, Dawnie?" Willow asked, hoping to embarrass the teen.  
"Well, there was the guy who was a vampire. And… Umm." Willow had succeeded. Dawn's face flushed, and they laughed, knowing full and well that they were laughing at their own selves as well.  
…

…

Buffy found herself walking through cemetery once again. It was almost pitch black. Streetlights near her were out, and there was no moon. She felt like she was going in circles, seeing the mausoleum where she and Angel found the Box. She decided to sneak a peek inside. It was quiet, even for a cemetery. She felt a chill go down her spine as she stepped in.  
"Buffy," a voice called from behind her.  
She turned to the voice, startled. "Spike? What are you doing here?" she questioned.  
"You have to save her, Buffy." With that, he walked into the crypt. Buffy followed him, taking in her surroundings. She saw the demon she attacked earlier, and prepared herself for the fight. It remained still, as if not noticing her presence. She looked again and saw the sarcophagus in the center of the room. Drusilla was standing behind it, holding a bloody dagger. She looked again to the sarcophagus. Selena was lying on it, arms running red, eyes closed. Drusilla set the dagger down, picking up a box and a key. She placed the key in its hole and twisted. She spoke words foreign to Buffy, and the box opened.  
"Fly my pretties," was the last thing she heard before darkness engulfed her.

Buffy jolted awake, the sound of her alarm clock ringing in her ears. "It's going to be one of _those_ days," she said to herself. She turned her alarm off, and quickly dressed. The clock read 7:30, meaning she had an hour to get to the shop before it opened.  
She drug herself downstairs, fixing her breakfast mindlessly. Dawn pulled herself in, fixing hers in the same manner. "How'd you sleep?" Buffy asked.  
"Eh," was all Dawn said.  
"Same. Had another dream about Selena." Buffy told her sister what happened.  
"Well, we'll just have to make sure that it doesn't turn out that way," Dawn ensured.

…

…

They arrived at the shop a few minutes before eight, a time "agreed" on by Willow. The ones who weren't helping immediately went to the gym. Though they were groggy, Faith was a little lenient. She'd let them sleep on the mats just as long as they weren't in the way.  
Buffy walked into the shop, Dawn and Amanda on her tail. A banner streamed from one side to the other, announcing the sale. Everything was 30 to 50 per cent off. Buffy looked around, eyeing some candles and oil thinking _I may help myself to some of this stuff._  
"Oh you're here! Great! There's some inventory I just got in and we need to set it out before the store opens! Buffy, if you and Amanda could bring the heavier stuff, Dawn, Shannon, Gerti and I will set everything out."  
"Nice to know I'm the muscle," Buffy teased. There wasn't time for chit-chat once they started working. Setting out inventory was easy enough. But then, the people started showing up. Buffy never realized how busy the shop actually got. When she had time to ask Willow about it, she blamed it on the sale.  
By lunchtime, half of their inventory was depleted. Dawn turned the sign to close as they sat down for their break. Boxes of Chinese food littered the table. "Ah! FOOD!" Dawn exclaimed, finding a box of beef and broccoli, and digging in. The others had followed suit as well. "I had no idea we were going to be so busy."  
"Yeah, me too. But hey, so not complaining!" Willow said enthused.  
Fifteen minutes later, the cartons were in the trash, and the door was open again for business. Finally, the clock read five o'clock, and the sign was turned for the last time of the day.  
"I'd sit, but there's a hot date I have to get ready for," Willow said. "C'mon guy! Out, out, out!"  
They all slunk into their cars and drove away.  
"Buffy, I've been thinking," Dawn said as they drove home.  
"Well, that's dangerous, but about what?" Buffy joked.  
"Well, you and Willow and Xander all have dates. I just thought that maybe we could go out, you know, to the club? Robin and Faith said they'd come with us. Please!" she begged.

Buffy was quiet for a minute. She shrugged and said, "Sure. You guys deserve it."

"Really?" The whole car screamed.  
"Yeah, have some fun. But I call the bathroom first. Just make sure you look after the younger ones, and Selena. Be careful."

The girls chattered happily, discussing what they were going to wear, and if they'd run in to any of the boys from school. Buffy parked the car, and hurried to the door. There was a note taped to it with her name on it. She grabbed the note, hurrying upstairs. She read the note. It was from Spike. "Buffy, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I'm so happy about our date tonight. Meet me outside at seven. See you then." Buffy smiled and hurried off to the bathroom. It was almost five-thirty. She only had an hour and a half to get ready. "Great. Now, I have to really hurry." She turned on the water, and stripped down. All she could think about was Spike: their date tonight and how mysterious he was being about it. She wondered what he was going to wear, how he would look. Would he keep his hair slicked? Or let it go and look more like Billy Idol? Would he wear his normal black and red? She hoped for something more like the pale blue he wore when he first received his soul. She remembered how tightly it fit over his chest, showing the rippling muscles she knew all too well. She remembered the way his lips worked against hers. _NO! _Buffy's thoughts screamed at her. _It's not going to be like this time. I won't let it._ She hurried, trying not to think about Spike while she bathed. She finished, going to her room to dry her hair. Dawn had insisted she do the make-up and fixing of her. Buffy sat at her desk, letting Dawn do as she wished. "Just don't make me look like a clown," she joked. Buffy's hair was in loose curls, pulled away from her face, and shaping it well. Her lips were a soft pink, with light brown eye shadow, highlighting her eyes.  
"Done," Dawn said cheerfully. "And you look great. Now, get dressed! You only have fifteen minutes!" Buffy looked at the clock, and sure enough: 6:45.  
"Wait, Dawn. What am I supposed to wear?" Buffy asked. Dawn walked to her sister's closet, pulling out a mid-calf length white haltered dress. She dipped down, picking up a pair of white peeped toe, small heels. "Dawn, where did this come from?" Buffy asked shocked.  
"Spike and I picked it out last night. Here!" she thrust the clothing at Buffy. "Get dressed! And be careful of your hair!"


	30. Chapter 30

Buffy walked down the stairs. The girls had hooted and wolf-whistled at her. She smiled, thanking them. Dawn was already fixed up, ready to go to the Earth club.  
"How are you feeling?" she asked.  
"Nervous, mainly. I don't know what to expect," Buffy admitted.  
"Don't worry about it. You'll have a great time. If you want, you could always meet us at the club later." Dawn hugged her sister tightly. Buffy appraised her. Dawn's red shirt was triangular at the bottom. Whenever Dawn raised her arms, her hips were seen over her low-rise pants. _I wore the same thing, or close to it, when I was seventeen so I can't say anything._  
"Have a good time. I'll see you later," Buffy said. She grabbed the matching bag to her dress and walked out the door. Spike was standing at the end of the stairs with an assortment of flowers. "Spike! Oh, they're beautiful," she said in awe.  
"Hello, luv. I'm glad you like them," he said as he handed them to her.  
Her inhaled the scents of roses, lilies, tulips, and jasmine. "Let me put these in water. I'll be right back." She ran into the house, screaming, "DAWN!" Dawn ran over, a terrified look on her face. Whenever she saw Buffy, she only smiled.  
"They're gorgeous!" she exclaimed.  
"I know! Here, put them in water! I've got to go!" She ran back out the door, tripping on the last step. Luckily, Spike was there to keep her from falling.  
"Careful, pet. Don't wanna ruin that pretty dress o' yours."  
"Thanks," she said, regaining her balance. She straightened up, flattening her dress with her hands to keep herself from wrapping them around her savior's neck.  
"Ready to go?" he asked, turning toward the car, offering his arm. She only nodded as he led her away. He opened her door, helping her in.  
"Thank you," she whispered, a little shocked by his chivalry. As he sat behind the wheel, she asked, "So, who are you and what have you done with Spike?"  
He turned and tilted his head, "Whaddya mean?" He was slightly offended by her accusation.  
"I mean, you're being so nice and polite. It's just unusual."  
"We're on a date, ain't we? So, I'm tryin' to be a normal man, taking a normal woman, out on a normal date. Would you like it better if I cursed or something?"  
"No, no! It's fine, really. It's just going to take some getting used to," she said. He started driving, saying nothing. A smile was on his face as he went further. "Where are we going?" she asked curiously.  
"'S a secret," he teased. "Dawn promised me you'd like it."  
"So everything was Dawn's idea?"  
"Not evr'ythin'. Just some of it. The place was hers, and the flowers. But the dress, dinner. My idea." He started to slow as he got off the highway. The sun was still out, but it was starting to set. He pulled into a gravel parking lot and parked the car. He popped the trunk, got out, and removed a few items. He walked to Buffy's side, and said, "I'll be right back, pet. Stay here. I won't be long." He hid whatever he got out of the trunk skillfully, and ran off. Buffy looked around, trying to figure out where Spike had taken her. He came back minutes later. He opened her door, and again, offered his arm.  
"Where are we?" Buffy questioned as he led her down a sidewalk.  
"Cleveland, Ohio. United States of America. Western hemisphere. Earth. Pick one," he said with a smile.  
"Smart ass," she mumbled.  
"We're about to stray from the path, pet. 'S that alright?"  
"Yeah. Don't know how well it's going to go with me in these shoes," she giggled. And with that, Spike stopped walking and swept her up. As soon as the shock wore off, she asked, "What are you doing?"  
"Carryin' you. Wouldn't want you to hurt your pretty lil' legs on any thorns," he said. Her arms were around his neck, holding on. He had one arm under her knees, the other under her back. He stared at the course ahead of them as she stared into his eyes. She had missed those eyes more than she had known. Now that they were back, now that he was back, she wanted to spend every second of the rest of her life with him. She just had no idea if he would ever feel the same though. "We're here," he said as she slowly set her on her feet.  
She looked around and noticed they were on an embankment. The sun was directly in front of them, slowly setting. There was a blanket and a basket on the ground a few feet ahead of them. The lake and the city was on display ahead.  
"Spike," she whispered, "is this—a picnic?" She was a little shocked at such a romantic gesture. _A picnic at sunset! Wow._  
"Yeah, it is. Would you like somethin'?" He sat down on the blanket, facing the sun. He opened the basket, pulling out a bottle of wine, a couple glasses, and food. Bread, cheese, some meats.  
Buffy sat opposite of him. He shrugged out of his duster, and for the first time that evening, she realized what he was wearing: a deep blue, short-sleeved button up shirt with a black under shirt peeping around the collar, and khaki pants. She had never seen him look so good. So—alive! She finally looked into his eyes, watching him watch her. "Have I told you how wonderful you look?"  
Buffy flushed. "Thanks," she whispered. "You look pretty wonderful yourself." _Wonderfully sexy._  
"So, would you like somethin'? To eat?" He waited for her response, watching as she licked her pink lips. He offered her some wine. She took it and gulped half of it before remembering to sip wine, not gulp it.  
"I'd love some." He opened a chunk of the fresh baked bread and placed some cheese and meat on it. "Ooo. Cheese," she giggled before taking a bite. "Ohhh… This is so good!" she said through her bites.  
"Nibblet said you liked cheese." He fixed himself a sandwich as well. "Got it from a lil' place downtown. Specializes in fresh food." He took a bit and almost groaned as she did. It was good. _Dawn was right. Fresh food is definitely better than store bought. How does she know all this?_ He took a sip of the wine. He knew what the good stuff was, after being around for 124 years.  
"So, what else is in here?" she asked, peeking into the basket.  
"Dessert," he said pulling out a container filled with grapes, strawberries, chunks of apple and cantaloupe. He dipped back in, pulling out a bag of Hershey's kisses.  
"You're going to spoil me," she laughed as she sipped some more wine. Her glass was almost empty, but she didn't care. She looked at everything laid out in front of her, including the man who had done it all for her.  
"'S the idea," he grinned, popping a grape in his mouth.  
"Let me guess, Dawn told you I liked all this?" she joked.  
"No, and I do wish you stop assumin' that," he said, slightly raising his voice. He didn't want to be upset with her, but she wasn't wanting to give him any credit.  
"I'm sorry," she said, tensing up.  
He sighed. "No, I'm sorry, Buffy. I mean, I do know what ladies like. I've been around long enough that I should." There was an awkward silence between them now. Spike had eaten a little more of the food, drank a little more wine. Buffy had finished her wine now, and was just staring off at the waters. "Buffy," he said after a minute, "are you okay?" He was looking at her intently. She turned her head, wanting to scold him for making her feel like that. But as she looked into his eyes, her anger melted away. Spike could see it on her face. He knew that she had been upset but was confused now at what he saw.  
Her eyes refocused. "Yeah, I'm okay," she said looking away. "I am sorry, though. I was only joking. I didn't mean to offend you."  
Spike put the supplies away, pushing it off the blanket. He brought himself closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. She looked like she may cry, and he didn't want that. _Why is she so upset? _"What is it, sweetheart?"  
"You're making everything so perfect, and trying so hard, and all I can do is try to make it seem like you're incompetent. I'm sorry, Spike. I just want everything to be perfect, too. And it's a lot harder than I thought it would be," she rambled.  
He chuckled and brought her face up so he could look at her. "Nobody's perfect, luv. I don't expect you to be. I know I'm not." He kissed her forehead, savoring the smell of her hair as he did. As he broke it, his sapphire eyes met her dark jade ones. "I think you are perfect, Buffy. You're bloody amazin' and a beautiful woman." He stroked her cheek as she smiled. He looked away from her eyes for a split second, looking quickly at her mouth. He wanted to kiss her so badly, but there was something holding him back. This was all too new to him. It felt like days ago he had wanted nothing more than to kill her. But that was years, not days. He changed whenever he got the chip in his head. He couldn't hurt her, and now, he never wanted to again. He would hurt anyone who did.  
"Spike," she whispered. He looked back into her eyes seeing something there he hadn't seen before. Before he could say anything back, her lips were on his. He felt like he should push her off, but his body said no. Instead, he brought her closer. The hand that had been on her cheek was on her neck. The other was on her back. She moved quickly, straddling him faster than he could object. One arm was around his neck, a hand going through this hair. The other was moving down his chest.  
"Slayer," he mumbled. She didn't respond. Her hands were still moving. Her fast fingers trying to unbutton his shirt. "Buffy," he said more firmly. His hands were on her shoulders, pushing her back.  
"What is it?" she breathed, excited.  
"No."  
"No?"  
"We can't do this. I mean, we can. And I want to. But it's too much, too fast, luv."  
"O-oh," she said. She was trying to comprehend what was going on. She had seen him looking into her eyes, then him looking at her lips. She admitted to herself that she had looked at his more than once that evening, remembering times he had used it to do so many things to her. Next thing she knew, she was kissing him. His mouth had felt better than she remembered. "I-I'm sorry," she stuttered. She moved from on top of him, sitting beside him once again. Their faces were flustered. Buffy's whole body was hot with embarrassment and excitement and the little alcohol she had in her system.  
"It's okay, Buffy," he smiled. "I understand. Don't get me wrong, luv. I want you, too. But not here. Not now." Buffy wasn't looking at him anymore. She didn't want him to see her face, because she knew he would be able to read it in a second.  
"Is there anymore wine?" she asked quietly.  
"Yes, luv." He poured them each a glass. He watched as she opened the bag of chocolates, popping one into her mouth. Less than a minute later, another one was there.  
"Thank you," she said after she was handed the glass. "Not just for the date. But for stopping me, too," she took a gulp from her glass. "I would have been upset with myself later if we had gone any further. I don't want—" _I don't want it to be like it was before._  
"You don't want what?"  
"I don't want to rush things."  
He knew she was partly lying, but he didn't call her on it. "Me either, pet. Me either."


	31. Chapter 31

Willow had hurried home. Dawn had just texted her, telling her that the rest of them were going to Earth while the trio was one their dates. She still had to get a shower and pick Tara up. She showered quickly, not as nervous as she had been about asking, but still nervous. After drying her hair, she put on light make up. Light browns for her eye shadow, and red for her lips. She slipped on her dress, a beige figure hugging knee length creation with wide straps and a brown belt at the waist. She slipped on her matching brown heels and shoulder bag. Her straight hair flowed down her back. "Whew," she exhaled, relaxing a bit. "Better get going. The clock read 6:30, and she was scared she was going to be late. She wasn't sure how long it would take to get to Tara's from here. Plus, they had a reservation at Trattoria Roman Gardens for 7:30. She took one last look in the mirror before deeming herself "hot." She pranced to her car, superiorly excited and scared.  
She sped quickly to the apartment. "403, 403… Where is 40—Ah ha! Found it!" She left the car running, and hurried to the door. She rapped on the door multiple times.  
"Just a minute!" Tara yelled. _My shoe, my shoe, where's my damn shoe? _she swore to herself.  
Willow stood outside the door, looking at her watch. She was a few minutes early, but she didn't know if that was a good thing or not.  
Tara finally made her way to the door, eager for the date, but scared simultaneously. She opened the door to see the fiery redhead in a stunning dress. "H-h-hi. You—um—look g-great," she stuttered.  
"Thanks," Willow said as her cheek ran hot. "You do, too." Willow looked at the woman in front of her. She was wearing a pink dress with ruffled sleeves. It flowed gently from her waist, not forming, but not baggy either. The ensemble was complete with the black heels and purse. "Ready to go?" Willow forced herself to say.  
Tara smiled and nodded, locking her door before they head to the car. They rode to the restaurant in silence. They walked in, and Willow told the patron of her reservation. He seated the women at a small two-seated round table, holding chairs out for them both. The table was complete with long, white candles and small flowers as a centerpiece, and multiple sets of each utensil.

"Wow," Tara said. "This place is beautiful." She looked around the quaint restaurant. Little cherubs were placed around, but that what goes along with a restaurant in Cleveland's Little Italy.  
Willow wanted to say, "Not as beautiful as you," but she didn't want to push. So instead, she just agreed. A waited was with them quickly, and then bringing out a wine Tara had requested. The waited poured their glasses half full and continued on his way.  
"So, what made you choose this place?" Tara questioned.  
"I've heard a few people come in the shop and talk about it," she said. "I wanted to know if it was as good as they made it out to be."  
"Umm hmm. And speaking of the shop, I couldn't help but notice it had my last name in the title."

"Oh! Umm, well, yeah," Willow mumbled. She had forgotten that. _Dammit, I can't just say 'Oh I named it after you because you were my dead lover!' C'mon, Willow! Think of something!_ "You-uh- had such an impact on me, back in Sunnydale. You helped me with the magicks and stuff. It only felt right," Willow said, sort of hiding the truth.  
"I-I had an impact on you?"  
"Well, yeah. Other than Amy, you were the only one who did magick that I was close to. Speaking of Amy, you know, who was my rat, well she's not a rat anymore! I managed to make her human again!" Willow exclaimed, though not too loud.  
"W-wow. That's some m-major stuff. When did that happen?"  
"After you left," she said quietly, the enthusiasm lost.  
"I didn't know you guys actually liked me," Tara said in a whisper.

"Oh, Tara! Of course, we liked you! We still do! We didn't want you to go!" Willow wasn't exactly referring to Tara leaving with her family, but more so of Tara dying. "It—it really hurt, when you left."

"O-oh," Tara sipped her wine fervently, looking down at the table. She wasn't going to let Willow see the hurt in her eyes. She had placed the napkin in her lap and was playing with it, trying to keep her attention elsewhere.  
Willow sensed Tara wasn't comfortable anymore. She sipped her wine as well, and began ripping pieces off a breadstick and eating them. She was nervous again. "So umm, the gang is going to Earth later. You wanna go and just—hang out?" Willow gulped her wine, finishing her sentence.

"Tonight?"  
"Yeah. I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to, but I mean I want you to, and I was thinking about going, but I don't know yet."  
"Willow, remember to breath," Tara giggled. As she processed what Tara had said, she inhaled and exhaled deeply.  
"So, umm, what do you think?"  
Tara pondered it for a moment. She didn't know them all that well, but she knew she liked Willow. And Willow had said her friends liked her. She wanted to know them better, especially Willow. "Is what I'm wearing okay?"  
Willow lit up as she understood that was a 'yes'. "Yeah! You look hot!" She blushed immediately following those words. "I mean—uh—"  
"T-thanks." Willow saw Tara's cheeks become as red as the tablecloth. The waiter came by again, handing them their food and refilling their glasses.

"Ah. Food," Willow laughed. She hadn't had a big appetite since Tara had left, but now that they were here, she felt like she could eat a horse, but pasta would have to do.

"I love Italian food," Tara said after she took her first bite. "There's just something about the right spices, the cheese, the noodles."  
"I know what you mean," Willow agreed. They ate mostly in silence, though commenting often on the food or atmosphere. After urgent insisting, Willow convinced Tara to take a bite of her entrée; however, she persisted on feeding it to her. Tara complied, chuckling at the act. "Tara," Willow said after a moment. Tara looked up from her food, starring at Willow through her thick eyelashes. "I'm having a really good time tonight."  
"Me too."


	32. Chapter 32

Xander had accidentally worked over his clock out time, and he was freaking out. However, as he walked through the door, he was hit with the aroma of food. "Andrew, I love you," he said happily. "This is great." The dining room table, though small as it was, had a white table cloth over it. Napkins rolled with utensils were sitting on the table. Wine glasses were next to them. Candles and roses were in the center. "It's amazing," he smiled. "What's for dinner?"  
"Garden salad to start. Filet mignon, with French cut green beans, covered in mozzarella cheese, baked potato, and garlic toast. There's chocolate cupcakes with strawberries for dessert, and sparkling white wine to drink," Andrew replied, stirring the pot of green beans.  
"Andrew, you're a god. This is-wow. Thank you. I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome. Now go shower! You have to pick her up in an hour!" Andrew smiled at the compliments. Xander didn't rush as he went through the shower. He scrubbed himself thoroughly, making sure no residue from his work shown on his body. He scrubbed his hair, trying to get the dust out if it as well. He stepped out, drying himself as thorough as he had scrubbed. He didn't care if he and Anya went 'all the way' or even if they kissed. Sure he wouldn't mind, but he wasn't going to be extremely disappointed if they didn't. He towel dried his hair, thankful he wasn't a girl and didn't have to worry about make up.  
He combed his hair, trying not to slick it back. _Because that's Spike's thing. I'm not Spike. No slicked back hair for me._ He walked in his bedroom, eyeing his small selection of clothes. Andrew was good for one thing. He knew how help others dress well. And for that, Xander was thankful. He grabbed his black slacks, and deep plum shirt. _According to everyone I've ever talked to, I look good in just about anything. Except for those Hawaiian shirts I used to wear._ He dressed and looked to his alarm clock. Six forty-five. _Just enough time._ He pulled on his socks and shoes and walked into the main room. Andrew was still there, making final adjustments.  
"Okay, when you get back, sit her down, pour the wine. Give her the salad. Whenever she's finished, take the steak, potatoes, and bread out of the oven. Fix her plate, and give it to her. Fix her plate first, then yours! The stereo has a CD in it that I made. It has some nice songs on it so if things get quiet, play it. I'll be gone when you get back."  
"Thanks, Andrew. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it," Xander said as he hugged his friend. He walked out the door, almost running to his car. At exactly seven o'clock, he knocked on the door.  
Anya was pacing in her apartment. She had been ready for over half an hour, worried and anxious. She nearly jumped out of her skin as she heard the knock on the door. She didn't want to seem inpatient, so she waited a few seconds before opening it.  
"Hi," Xander greeted. "How are you?"  
"Hi. I'm fine, thanks." Anya shut and locked the door behind her. He led her to the car, opening the door for her as Andrew persistently reminded him to do. He got in the car, and started to drive in silence. "So," Anya chirped, "Where are we going?"  
"A nice little place not too far from here. It'll feel like home," he grinned. "Do you trust me?"  
"Xander, I barely know you," she replied.  
"So? I trust you. Do you trust me?"  
She thought for a minute. Did she trust him? _I barely know him. But I think I do. I know he wouldn't hurt me, so why not?_ "Yes," she whispered.

"Good. Put this on," he said as he handed her a sleep mask.  
"A blindfold? Really, Xander Harris? Is this some kind of kinky sex thing?" she demanded.  
"No, Anya. Not everything is about sex. Now please, humor me?" he requested.  
"Fine." She complied, putting the mask on.  
"Can you see anything?" he asked.  
"No."

"Good. We're here. I'm going to get out, open your door, and help you, okay?"

"Fine…" she grumbled.  
He did just that, assisting her up the few stairs and to his door. Luckily, he knew Andrew had left the door unlocked so he wouldn't fumble with keys. He opened the door, the smell of food hitting them. "Smells good," she complimented.  
"Thanks. I had a little help." He walked her over to the table, helping her sit down. "You can take the mask off now."  
She removed it and took a look at her surroundings. _It's an apartment. It's _his_ apartment._ "This is where you brought me for dinner?"  
"Yeah," he said, a little uncertain of his decision now. He poured her wine and gave her the salad. "Would you like any dressing?" he asked politely.  
"Ranch please." He handed her the bottle, and then prepared his own. "What kind of wine is this?" she asked.  
"Sparkling white. I have no idea of the year or anything like that," he smiled.  
"Tastes good," she said after taking a sip. They ate the salad in silence. Xander was suddenly extremely nervous, not knowing what to say, not wanting to say anything inappropriate.  
"So, Anya, what do you do?" _Small talk. That's a good start._  
"I work at Wolfram and Hart. It's a law firm. I handle some of the bookkeeping."  
"Oh, well that's good. Do you like it?"  
"Yes, I do. The pay is great, the hours are flexible, and the benefits are amazing. My insurance will pay for practically anything. There was this talk about a guy a few years ago, who got his hand cut off in a fight, and they gave him a new one!" she bragged.  
"That's great," he said again, hurrying to finish his salad.  
"What do you do?"  
"I'm the foreman of Bernard Construction. I look over the actual workers. Doing files, handling clients, that kind of thing. Pay's great. Hours are repetitive, but it's okay. Benefits are okay. Dental and insurance are included," he said with a smile. He noticed she was finished with her salad and stood to remove it. He took everything from the oven, placing it on the plates Andrew had set out. He placed one in front of her and sat beside her. He watched her dig in, seeming pleased at the meal. "Save some room for dessert," he insisted.  
"There's dessert, too? This is fantastic," she said, mouth half full of food.  
"I'm glad you like it. I'll give your compliments to the chef."  
"You didn't cook this?" she swallowed.  
"No, no, no," he laughed. "I can't make spaghetti without messing it up. I'm more of a cereal kinda guy."  
"I don't like cereal that much," she said, before taking a hefty bite of the filet. "Hmmm! So juicy!" she mumbled.  
"How can you not like cereal?" he asked, trying to get away from the sounds the food was causing her to make.  
"I'm not sure really. Something about the texture. The crunchy mixed with the milk. Plus, it feels like I'm eating farm food."  
"Farm food?"  
"Yes, like grain or wheat. I don't like the flavor."  
"Oh!" Xander exclaimed. "There are other many flavors out there! Cookies, and sugary goodness."  
"I like sugar. It gives me this feeling… Ah.. It's heavenly." Even though their plates were only half empty, Xander felt like he wanted to have dessert. NOW.

"If you're done, there's some sugary, heavenly goodness I could give you now."

Anya looked at her plate and considered the option. Xander walked to the refrigerator and removed the chocolate and strawberry cupcakes. As she saw the cakes, she exclaimed that she was finished.  
Xander looked to the couch and thought_ why not?_ He asked her to sit on the couch with him. She did, sitting with her feet under her. Her red dress flowed around her. He sat next to her. His body turned to hers. He placed one of the small cakes on the coffee table, keeping the other in his hand. They were bigger than he expected. It was about twice the size of a normal one, but he really didn't care. Half of a strawberry was lying face down. "You do trust me, right?" he said with an epiphany.  
"Yes, we've covered this."  
"Good, now close your eyes and open your mouth." She looked at him with an eyebrow raise, but she obeyed. He picked the strawberry off the icing and made sure it was covered with the chocolate. He placed it in her mouth, her lips unknowingly taking his finger as well. He pulled his hand back quickly, and watched as she enjoyed the aphrodisiac. "Do you like it?" Her only response was a nod and small moan. _God! It's like she's doing these things intentionally!_ As she finished chewing, he asked if she wanted another.  
"Yes, please," she begged. He repeated the process, this time keeping his fingers away.  
"Anya," he said as she finished. She looked at him, eyes widen with a smile. He brushed his hand across her face, pushing some hairs away. He brought himself a little closer, and soon, their mouths had connected. He was pushed into the couch, Anya on top of him. She kissed him deeper, her chocolate and strawberry flavored tongue swirling in his mouth. Her hands moved across his arms, down his chest. He felt her messing with his clothes and that brought his back to reality. "Anya," he said, pulling out of the kiss, and slightly pushing her away. "We don't need to do this."  
"Do what? Have sex? Why not?" she whined.  
"Because it's not right. Not yet, anyway. I haven't known you very long," he lied. "I just think we need some time."


	33. Chapter 33

Spike and Buffy talked and laughed until after the sun was sinking over the lake. While the wind blew softly, he saw her shiver and goose bumps appear on her bare arms. "Here," he said, placing his duster on her back.  
"Thanks," she said with a smile.  
"Ready to go, pet?" he asked. "Thought I heard Nibblet say somethin' about meetin' her at a club?"  
She sighed heavily. She didn't want to go, but she didn't want to stand Dawn up either, especially after everything she had helped Spike conjure. "Sure," she said as she stood, putting her arms through the jacket's sleeves. It was entirely too big on her. The bottom of it was flowing around her feet. She took a step and almost tripped. Spike caught her again, grinning as much as his face allowed. He barked a laugh as she tried to straighten up, almost falling again.  
"Ya know, for a slayer, you're awfully clumsily," he said, still holding her in his arms.  
"Or maybe I just like having your arms around me," she grinned. "And maybe I drank that wine a little too fast." He swooped her up again, and began walking to his car. "I _can_ walk," she protested, but not really trying. "It's just this jacket. It's too big on me."  
"But it's keepin' you warm right now," he replied. "And I don't mind carryin' you." The walk to the car was over quicker than she wanted. He put her down a few feet away, and she actually noticed his car. There was only one light in the small 'parking lot,' and he had seemed to park right in front of it, so that it created a spotlight. Buffy didn't know a lot about cars, but she knew when one was old and when it looked good.  
"What kind of car is this?" she questioned, walking toward the car, running her fingers across the painted steel, and sliding out of his jacket, placing it on the hood.  
He watched as she moved. _Lil' minx_, he thought. She turned to face him, and propped herself against the side of the car. "It's a 1969 Mustang. Boss 429," he said after a few seconds of trying to find his voice. He found himself standing next to her once again, but unable to remember how he had covered the few feet.  
"Well, I don't know that much about cars, but I would say that this is one… hot… car," she said as she traced a finger across his chest and neck. He exhaled sharply as she hit a spot on his neck that sent him over the edge.  
He concentrated and backed away slowly. He looked into her eyes, seeing them full of lust. _Something's not right._ "I'll be right back," he said starting toward the embankment where he had left the evidence of their picnic.  
"Don't go," she begged, grabbing his wrist with her Slayer strength, pulling him back. He knew something was wrong with her. He saw her lick her lips and stick her bottom lip out, full pout mode.  
"Buffy, luv, I'm just going to get the things I left," he replied. Before he could turn away, she had him pushed against the car. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, arms around his neck, holding herself up with her own strength. Her mouth attacked his with long kisses. She pushed her tongue, forcing it into his mouth. He brought his arms around her, hands venturing down her sides. He regained control of his mind, and carefully tried to push her away. But she wouldn't have any of that. "Slayer," he said, "not that I'm not enjoying your enthusiasm but… Oh! Buffy!" She had started to kiss his neck as he talked. With that, he managed to push her off. She immediately looked hurt. She stepped back and looked at him. He wasn't angry with her, but he was impeccably concerned.  
"Oh God," she said, realizing what had just happened, again. "Spike, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I mean, one minute we were talking and then next… Spike, I'm sorry!" she exclaimed. _What is going on with me? Yes I want him, but not so much that I can't control myself_, she thought.  
"'S okay, pet. Let me go get the stuff. I'll be back in a minute." He rushed past her, eager to leave the area. She watched him walk away into the twilight. She grabbed his duster and sat in the car. The little alcohol in her body was gone now. _Blame it on the alcohol,_ she thought momentarily, but as she did, she knew that wasn't it. _Just keep apologizing.  
_He walked hurriedly to get the few items. _What is wrong with her? Is she under a spell? I wonder if this what it was like in Captain Cardboard's frat house. Did she just have no control over what was going on?_ He shook his head, not wanting to think of that idiot. He had never liked him, despite the fact it was his people that had put the thing in his head. _I guess I should be kinda grateful. If they hadn't, I never would've stopped killin' people. Never 'ave turned good_.  
As he picked up the basket, he felt something hit him in his mind. He saw Buffy pushing her mouth onto his with him pushed against a wall. Her unzipping his pants and bringing herself down on him. He had flipped her around, pushing her instead. She seized the wall, holding herself up. And then they were falling.  
Spike found himself on the ground, unknowing how he got there. He picked up the few things and ran back to the car. As he got closer, he heard something. "Buffy? You alright?" he asked cautiously.  
"Yeah, I'm fine," she said nasally. He put the items in the trunk and got in the car.  
_She's been crying! For goodness' sakes. I didn't mean to upset her._ "Sweetheart, what is it?"  
"I'm sorry," she said wiping away the stray tears on her face.  
"For what, luv?"  
"For attacking you. Twice." She couldn't manage to look at him. Her face was probably as red as an apple, and her eyes puffy and bloodshot.  
"It's okay," he said. He wanted to console her, to hug her and hold her, but he didn't want her to do it again. He wanted to know if what he was seeing was true. But now wasn't the time to ask her. "Do you still want to go to the club? I could take you home if you wanted."  
"No," she sniffled. "I mean, I don't want to go home. I don't want to stand Dawn up. Pretty sure she's expecting us."  
"Okay," he said reluctantly. They drove to the club in silence. Buffy wanted to speak, but every time she tried, her throat became dry and her mind went blank. "You—uh—might want fix ya'self up a bit. Make up and whatnot," he said as they parked. Buffy quickly opened her mirror and fixed the blotches. Her mascara hadn't run, thankfully. She reapplied her lip gloss, closing the compact as she finished. Spike couldn't help but watch as she straightened herself up.  
"Umm, here," she said, handing him a handkerchief. "There's a little—um…" He looked into the rearview mirror and saw what she meant. Sparkling pink was across his cheek and some on his neck. He wiped at his skin, only managing to redden the skin. "Let me?" she asked shyly. He looked at her questioningly. She took the handkerchief back, licking it, and dabbed at his skin. "There," she said as she back away. "What about your hair?" she asked, noticing it was spiked instead of slicked back.  
"I think we'll be alright," he smiled, grabbing his duster. He opened the door and shrugged it on. He opened hers and led her into the club.


	34. Chapter 34

Hey guys. Sorry it's been so long since I've written something. I've had some personal issues that's been preoccupying my time. Thanks for reading!

Anya moved from Xander's lap. She felt unsettled. She looked into the man's face and was confused on what she saw. She knew he wanted her. She definitely wanted him. But he had said "no." _I just don't understand. I'm pleasant to look at, right? I'm attractive. _"I just don't understand," she blurted out.  
"Understand what?"  
"I don't get why you don't want me. Why won't you just take me here and now?"  
"Anya," he chuckled. "I've only ever been with one person in my entire life," he fibbed lightly, "And she wasn't exactly special to me. But Anya, you are. I don't want to rush in to it, okay?"  
Anya pondered on the words she had heard. Xander had already been with someone. But, didn't some part of her know that? She had never been with anyone, even when she was a vengeance demon. She had hated men too much after that troll Olaf hurt her, however something in Xander changed that in her. She stood from the couch, removing her gaze from his. She was all dressed up, had expecting to go out somewhere, but he brought her here. His apartment.  
"Xander, can we go somewhere? Not that I don't like your place. It's just that we're both so dressed up, and I feel like I should show off how handsome you are."  
He smiled and agreed. Andrew had told him the gang was going to the club and that they should come if they wanted. Anya wanted to go out so go out they would. He also felt the same need to show her off. She was gorgeous. Xander couldn't imagine ever seeing her in something like this. The red was bright, low cut, and stopped just under her knees. _Beautiful._ "Sure. I know a good place. The gang is hanging out at a club, if you wanna go?"  
"Sounds great," she said, enthused.  
They gathered their things and travelled to the club in silence. Xander attempted to make small talk, but his attempts made him look like a babbling idiot. _Dammit, Xander! _he screamed at himself. He gripped the steering wheel tighter than usual. His knuckles were whiter than Spike.  
"Xander, are you alright?" Anya whispered as they pulled into the parking lot. He parked, and shut the car off. He flexed his fingers, trying to get the feeling back into his digits. He looked at her, only to see her cowering against the car's door. Appearing to be frightened by him.  
He sighed deeply, "I'm fine. Just… frustrated. But not at you, Anya. Just at myself."  
"For what?"  
"It's just… It's so hard to talk to you. It shouldn't be, but it is. Especially after…"  
"After what?"  
He felt like he was going to cry. He had spent almost a year grieving after this woman. But she had barely known him. She didn't know him the way he knew her. She knew the shy, immature boy he had been. She knew how he had kissed Willow while she was with Oz and he with Cordelia. What she didn't know was how much he had changed, especially since she had died. He had forced himself to grow up. However, he still couldn't think of what to say to her.  
"After all this time." There. That's safe.  
She smiled, flattered at what she thought was shyness. She leaned over and kissed him lightly on his cheek. He looked at her, not exactly shocked, but hesitant. "Let's go," he said. He opened his door and rushed over to open hers as well. He was determined to be a gentleman this go round.

"Oh, I'm so stuffed," Willow said as they walked to the car.  
"Me too," Tara agreed. "I never knew that place was there. It was amazing."  
"Ready to go to the club? I feel the sudden urge to dance away every calorie I just consumed," Willow laughed.  
"You're the one in charge, missy," Tara addressed.  
"Am I now?" Willow said, teasingly. Tara had really loosened up at dinner, and she was very thankful. "Well, to the club we go!" she laughed as she put the car in drive.

The two women walked into the club as if they owned the place. They were sexy, and they knew it. As they walked toward the tables surrounded by the other slayers, heads turned of men and women alike. Willow's hands went through her waist length hair. Tara simply shook her mane. She wasn't one to bring attention to herself, but being in the presence of Willow, she couldn't help it. Something about the woman made her want to be seen more.  
"Hey, Red!" Faith exclaimed, eyeing the women as they approached the tables. "Wow, you two look hot!"  
"Thanks," Willow replied. "Oh, Faith this is Tara. Tara, Faith."  
"We've m-met," Tara stuttered as Faith shook her hand.  
"Really? I don't—," Faith said.  
"You were in Buffy's body at the time," Tara explained.

"Oh. OH! I remember now! Yeah, I totally knew you two were together, even before the others did."  
"T-together? We were friends, but umm..."  
"Yeah, that's what she meant," Willow intervened. Willow gave Faith a 'NO!' look. "Where's Kennedy?" she asked, noticing the girl's absence.  
"She stayed home with Alisia, Nicole, and Valerie. They're not old enough to get in."  
"Oh, okay."

Music was pumping throughout the club, making everything pulsate. Bodies were moving in across the dance floor. Willow noticed Dawn and a few other girls in the crowd. She also noticed some of the guys that were noticing the girls as well. _Dawnie can take care of herself_, she thought with a smile. "Care to dance?" she asked Tara. She was answered with a hand in hers. Willow found a space on the crowded floor enough to accommodate the two. As some of the men saw them advance, they made room for them.  
Willow turned to face Tara. Their bodies started dancing in rhythm to the club mix, some techy tune with no lyrics. Perfect for those who just wanted to feel the beats and dance. Considering the small space they occupied, they weren't as close as some of the couples around them. They moved, bouncing and swaying with the tempo. Neither touched the other's body. Willow could see sweat beginning to glisten on Tara. The strobe lights that flittered across the crowd made her become hypnotic.  
Willow had to force herself away from Tara. She wanted to feel her skin, but she knew better. She was dancing for what seems like hours, but she knew it had only been minutes since they walked through the door. A DJ came over the speakers. "Yo man, I 'm happy for this turn out! I'm 'bout to take it a lil' slower for all those couples out there."  
Willow looked at Tara and asked, "Would you like to sit this one out?"  
Tara felt flushed and was incredibly thirsty all of a sudden. She simply nodded and they retreated to the tables. Dawn noticed as they walked away. "Hey guys! You made it!"

"Ha-ha. Yeah," Willow chuckled. She was flushed, and so was Tara; she just didn't know if it was from the dancing, or what she had felt almost every time they touched. She was careful not to touch her. A spark seemed to erupt under her fingertips as she touched the blonde's skin.

"Hey! There's Spike and Buffy! And Xander and Anya!" Dawn exclaimed as she saw the pair. As the quartet walked toward the table littered with girls, Willow couldn't help but notice Spike's unusually non-slickened hair and faint pink smears across his exposed skin. She glanced to Buffy, hoping her thoughts would be confirmed. They were. She saw the newly applied makeup but held her tongue. She was genuinely happy for them. Long before Buffy openly showed her grief for Spike, Willow understood Buffy loved him; however, she hadn't exactly told her so.


	35. Chapter 35

Buffy said her hellos to the small crowd. She was happy to see her friends together and happy. Especially Willow and Tara… Willow needed Tara so much more than the younger ones knew. Except Dawn. Dawn understood what it was like to have someone you loved violently ripper from her life. She'd had it happen so many times within the past few years that Buffy didn't understand how she could stand it.  
She noticed Xander and Anya, swaying together in time with the gentle song. She smiled, happy that they were together again. She hated seeing Xander cry after Sunnydale fell to ruins, after knowing Anya died helping to save Andrew.

In the peripheral of her sight, she saw Spike tilt his head at her. She turned to him, asking him what he was wanting to know.  
"First of all," he began, "I was wondering if you'd dance with me?" He stretched his hand out for hers, waiting for her decision. She grabbed it without hesitation. Spike pulled her into his arms and allowed her to place her head in the cranny of his neck. "This comfy, luv?" She simply nodded in response. She couldn't remember the last time someone had held her as they danced. She remembered prom with Angel. It seemed ages ago. But this, this felt so much better. Angel had been cold. Spike used to be. But now, he was warm. She could smell the faint odor of stale cigarettes and alcohol on his duster mixed with a scent that was just Spike. She loved it.  
He rested his cheek against her head. "Buffy, what were you thinking? When you were lookin' 'round at your mates?"  
"About how I'm happy. I'm glad my friends are happy. If we could go on living in this moment, I wouldn't mind. I don't want this night to end."  
"Why's that?"

"I haven't been this happy ever in my entire life."  
"I know what you mean, pet." Buffy started remembering when Willow and the others had brought her back. She wanted more than anything in the world just to feel alive. She only found feelings with Spike, whether it was fury or passion. He had been like a drug for her. She had been drawn to him, wanting him to make her feel anything. Wanting him. Now it's more than she could have ever asked. Just one look from him made her heart flutter. When she kissed him, it felt like her insides were melting. _Why didn't I love him before I died? Back when he told me he loved me, I knew it was true. I knew in the way he helped Dawn, how he never questioned why I asked him to watch her. I knew he did before he ever admitted it to me. I saw it in his eyes when he tried to kiss me at the Bronze. _"Buffy?" he questioned again. "Are you okay?"

"Just thinking," she said with a slight smile.

"Care to tell?" he mumbled in her ear. She shook her head, knowing he had no idea he loved her first.

After many songs and dances later, the two decided it was enough of a night for them.

"Aww," Dawn whined. "Why so soon?"

"It's late," Buffy said, looking at her watch. Almost midnight. Not incredibly late, but she still needed to patrol and then be at school the next morning to help set up for graduation. "Be home by curfew," she said, kissing her sister's cheek.

As the blondes began to walk away, the others came to the table. "Oh, since you're all here! Don't forget about graduation!" she beamed. "I have tickets for everyone in case it rains."

"Yes, Dawn. I know. I have to help set up, remember?"

"I know, Buffy. I'm just reminding them! I'll see you in the morning."

Spike hugged Dawn, placing a small kiss on the top of her head. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

The two left the club quietly. Their ears were pounding from the music. Buffy's hearing was adjusting quickly, but she knew it would take Spike longer to adjust; however, he was the first to speak. "Buffy, what were you thinkin' about in there?" he said in a normal tone.

"Just umm… before. Back in Sunnydale."

"Before what?"

"Before I died…" her voice trailed. She didn't know if what she was saying was going to hurt him or not.

"Oh."

There was an uncomfortable silence in the car before Spike crank the car. "What do you remember about us?" Buffy finally asked.

"I know we fought. A lot. I remember everything from arrivin' in SunnyHell with Drusilla, to you destroyin' it, along with the uber-vamps."

"What about in between? Do you remember when Drusilla came back, lookin' for you?"

"I know I should've staked her then and there. Don't know why I didn't."

"I got in the way," Buffy admitted, forcing herself not to explain further.

"No you didn't, pet. Harmony did," he spat at her name. "Should've restaked her, too. I blame that damn Gem of Amarra. I know I wanted to kill you so badly, especially when you had me chained in Watcher's tub, temptin' me with that neck o' yours." He was smiling at the memory.

"What about that spell that Willow did?" Buffy asked. She was extremely curious about that. So much kissing. And then the spell was over, and she had to pretend everything was horrible. She couldn't disclose to her friend that Spike was a fantastic kisser. The words he purred in her ears that night…

"The one where we were engaged? That was bonkers. Red made so many of those cookies. Poor girl. She woulda had a fit if I woulda said I was okay with it," he chuckled.

"You… wha—huh?"

"I didn't mind kissin' you, Slayer. I only pretended to be disgusted. I had to register your reaction so I could mirror it. Didn't want your precious Scoobies thinkin' I had a thing for ya."

"Did you?" she asked, wondering what was going on.

"Captain Cardboard thought I did. Before he left, he was scared I was gonna take you from him."

"Couldn't take what wasn't his," she mumbled. "I was never his. He may have loved me, but he just wasn't 'the one.' Like he told Xander I was. I was thankful when you showed me he was in that vampire hole. I just don't understand why he was there. He said it was because he wanted to know what I felt with Dracula and Angel. But when they bit me, it hurt. He got _pleasure_ from it," she hissed.

"Easy, pet. I didn't mean to get you so worked up."

She sighed, letting the anger from Riley leave her. She was over him. Way over. Over like eighties fashion. "I'm okay. Riley's just a bad memory. He wasn't what I wanted anyway." She was quiet again. She didn't want to tell him they had had wonderful, amazing sex constantly after she was brought back. She knew he completed her, but she wasn't going to say anything. _Best to let him figure it out._

"What did you want, luv?" They were parked outside her house now. She didn't remember the drive.

"Nothing normal." _There. That's safe._ "Wanna come inside? I need to change and patrol."

"Don't worry about patrollin', pet."

"Why not?"

"'Cause the rest of the girls have the night off, you should, too." He rushed to her side of the door, opening it for her, and helping her in the house.


	36. Chapter 36

"Not patrol?" Buffy was finally able to voice. That wasn't something she had been advised to do. Ever. Except for when she was sick. She wasn't sick often. Her Slayer healing and strength helped with that.

"Yes, pet. Stay in. With me," he tacked on.

"Umm…. Okay… I'll be right back. Unless you don't think I should change clothes? The dress if beautiful, and I'd rather not ruin it."

"Sure, luv. Go ahead." Spike watched the gorgeous girl walk up the stairs.

"Oh, god. What does he expect? What should I wear? Oh no…" he thought he heard as she left his sight and hearing range.

He laughed and slid his boots off. "Wonder what's on tv…" He slunk onto the couch and awaited the woman.

Buffy was nervous. She had no reason to be. She'd known Spike for years, but had only recently discovered her feelings for the vampire. Recently being the previous year. He was the only person who kept her sane after her resurrection.

She didn't know Spike's intentions, but she knew he wouldn't try anything. He stopped her earlier from going any further. She dug through her clothes, trying to find something sexy yet comfortable. "Ooh, this is good," she said to herself, pulling out a green camisole sleep shirt and matching pajama shorts. She hung up the dress, put the shoes in the closet, and looked at herself in the mirror. Her face and hair was still dressed from the date, but she had no desire to change it. "Well, it's now or never." She pranced down stairs and remembered what Xander had said once about Willow. _That's the dance of a Brave Little Toaster. That's me._

She didn't mean to walk so slowly. She wanted to run as fast as she could to be in his arms again, but as soon as she thought of him downstairs, she wanted to crawl under her bed. He scared and excited her at the same time. _Well, that hasn't changed,_ she thought with a smile. She finally found her way to the living room where she found him fiddling with the radio. She noticed their picnic basket was sitting on the table. _I don't remember hearing the door open. Guess I just wasn't paying attention._

"Hi," she said quietly. He turned around quickly, almost knocking the knickknacks off the shelf. His eyes widen as he saw her standing near the couch, almost acting shy.

"'ello, pet," he said, walking toward her. Not walking, stalking. Like a predator and prey. Buffy forced herself to remember that he was no longer a vampire, but the hairs on her neck still stood on ends. "You look pretty," he said, closing in.

"Thanks," she said, blushing ferociously. She suddenly thought she was showing too much skin. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hide.

"Oh, luv. Don't hide yourself. You're too pretty to be self-conscious." Blood was at her cheeks once again. "So pretty when you blush," he said as he stroked her cheek, feeling the heat under his finger.

"That's still takes getting used to," she said, leaning in to his touch.

"Don't I know it." He spread his hand out so his palm was flat against her skin. His blue eyes were as piercing as ever.

"Spike," she whispered, closing the short distance between them. Staring into his bright eyes made Buffy weak, made her forget she was not only strong, but that she was the Slayer. He made her feel like a normal girl. Her legs wobbled, and she found herself pressed against his firm torso. He wrapped his arms around her, and buried his face in her hair. Buffy chuckled as she realized her unexpected weakness.

"What is it?"

"I just don't understand what makes me so weak around you." He smiled and brought them both to the couch. "Tomorrow's gonna be a long day." She pulled her legs under her and leaned on Spike's shoulder.

"Maybe I should go," he teased, wriggling a bit.

"No. Please. Stay with me."

"'Til the end of the world."

"So, only a few days. Hmm," Buffy deliberated that thought. "Well, if I only had a few days to spend with someone, I'm glad it's you."

"Me too, Buffy," he said, kissing her forehead. "So what d'we do?"

"Tv would be nice. There's this channel that plays _Passions._"

"Really?" he grabbed the remote, quickly scanning the channels until he found it. "Go figure. Timmy's stuck down that well again."

"You're so strange," Buffy giggled.

"Here, pet." He lied down, pulling her beside him, holding her against him.

She sighed, sinking against him. "I never thought this would happen again," she mumbled.

"Again?"

"Mmm-hmm." She closed her eyes, and rejoiced in being next to him.

He said nothing else. He pulled a blanket over them and turned his attention back to the tv. He slid one arm under her head, and placed the other around her waist.

"Why's the basket in here?" she whispered.

"Didn't know if you might have wanted some more champagne or strawberries."

"Hmmm. No. Alcohol makes Buffy do crazy things."

"Alright, pet," hearing the delirium in her voice. "Get some sleep." He gently kissed her cheek, and lay back to the couch.

Dawn and the girls were home soon after Buffy. They were all giggling until Dawn noticed the sleeping pair on the couch. "Shhh!" she hissed. She motioned the girls to go upstairs and locked the door behind them. She stood in the foyer, gazing at the pair. _Awww… They're so cute._ She turned out the lights, tv and grabbed their baskets of goodies. She looked in, seeing the strawberries and reached in to get one.

"Those aren't yours, Nibblet," Spike mumbled. She jumped as she heard his low timbre. She turned to them, but only saw their outlines.

"Jesus, Spike. You scared me!" she said in a hushed yell.

"Sorry. Put that in the fridge, will ya?"

"Sure. Why don't you take Buffy upstairs?"

"Didn't wan' wake her."

"Ha. Okay. Go on up. You won't wake her. I'll put this up, and then pull her blankets back."

"Alright."

Spike jumped as he heard the door open. He knew he hadn't been asleep long. He looked around, remembering where he was. The giggling girls had just made it home. He heard Dawn shush the girls, followed by hastened footfalls on the steps. He saw Dawn come toward them, turning off lights and then the tv. She grabbed the baskets, and began to reach in. "Those aren't yours, Nibblet." He laughed to himself as he watched her frame jump out of her skin. They quickly discussed Buffy's sleeping arrangements.

He found it quiet easy to raise himself from the couch. She was so small, she barely even reached the end. He gently picked her up, hugging her to him. He had forgotten she was so light. _So small for someone so powerful. _He carried her easily, nodding to Dawn as she left Buffy's room, blankets pulled back as promised. He laid her down softly, kissing her lightly on the lips. As he turned away to leave, he heard a small whisper.

"Spike?"

"Yes, pet?" he asked, turning back to the sleeping woman.

"You said you wouldn't leave," she grumbled.

"That I did." He pulled off his button up shirt and crawled in beside her, knowing it was going to be the best sleep of his life.


	37. Chapter 37

Buffy awoke to find arms resting against her body. She wasn't scared or even curious to who they belonged to. She knew. Spike. A smile rose across her face. She looked at the clock. It was only nine. She stretched, trying not to jostle him. "What is it, pet?" he whispered. His voice was thick with sleep.

"Mmm. Nothing," she said, turning onto her other side to face him. "Nothing bad. You stayed." Her voice had a touch of surprise to it.

"Told you I would," he said, eyes smiling. He tried to stifle a chuckle as he gazed at her.

"Oh god, I have bed head, don't I?" she said, smile fading into a grimace.

"You look beautiful, pet," Spike said, trying to calm her. He watched as she hurried into the bathroom.

She looked into the mirror and was horrified by what she saw. Not only did she have massive bedhead from the hair spray Dawn forced her to use, but she also had raccoon eyes from the immense makeup she had decided to wear on the previous night. "Oh, god!" _I should've showered last night. I never should have let him let me look like this! AH!_ her head screamed.

She quickly washed her face, scrubbing the makeup off. After many frantic times of attempting to brush her hair, she gave up. She settled for pulling it back into a bun.

"There's no need for that, luv," Spike said, suddenly appearing in the doorway.

"Why not?" she said, turning to him.

"Well, I had a thought." He approached her slowly, back to the predator phase.

"Really?" she said, remembering this look as one he had used so many times before. She smiled coyly.

"Yeah. Thought that maybe since I need a shower. And you need a shower. Maybe, we could…"

"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" The coy smile replaced by more come-hither one.

"Conserve water." He walked to her, embracing her. Spike brought his head down slowly as she tipped up to meet him. He pressed her against the sink, the slowness working its way into the situation. Buffy wasn't scared about what was going to happen. She had tried to go further the previous night, but he stopped her. She was confident he would stop her once again.

She reached around, pulling at his shirt. "Anxious?" he asked cockily.

"Very," she responded, tugging it over his head.

"Don't be." He gently pulled her hair out of the bun, letting it bounce as it hit her shoulders and down her back. He backed away, staring into her bright, burning eyes. "Absolutely gorgeous."

The burning moved to the surface of her skin, showing viciously. He easily peeled the thin fabric off her, noticing every little aspect of her body. His fingers trickled down her spine, dragging the shorts down from her hips.

She fumbled with his pants. Her hands were shaking as she tried to get his clothes off. "Calm down, luv," he said as he kissed her lightly. "Nothing's going to happen that we don't want." She smiled, unable to find words. He walked to the shower, turning the knobs to get it to the right temperature. Buffy couldn't help but stare at the man in front of her. She never had trouble remembering him, but this was different. He was actually here, with her.

Spike turned and looked at the woman in front of him. Buffy's eyes widened as she noticed he was watching her, looking at her as if she were the most precious thing in the world. Her whole body heated with nervousness and bashfulness. "Your skin looks lovely pink." Spike drew her to him, helping her into the shower. She gasped as the water hit her. "Why're you so quiet, pet?" he asked as he stepped in with her, closing the shower door behind him.

"Hard to think," she managed to say. "So much. So soon. So happy."

"I could always leave," he teased.

"You promised," she whined.

"And I always keep my promises to my lady." He watched as she leaned into the water, letting it flow from her head to her toes, leaving water marks down her body. "Stunning," he mumbled, eyeing her once again.

"You can say that again," as she did the same. She knew she wanted him, but she didn't want to rush so much. He pushed against her, letting the water run down him as he kissed her. "And you say I'm gorgeous," she said as he pulled away to breathe.

"I said I don't want to rush things," he began, "but seeing you like this makes it more difficult."

"I know what you mean," she panted.

"Just let me bathe you. You'll enjoy it. I promise," he said sincerely.

"Bathe me?" Buffy asked, taken aback by the unusual request. "Umm, okay."

He grabbed the loofa that hung on the rack full of her soaps and shampoos. He peered at the three different body washes and decided the vanilla scented one would be best. He squirted a generous amount on the loofa and lathered it. "Turn around," he purred. They maneuvered so he was more so under the water. He began rubbing the coarse material against her skin, massaging as he went.

"Mmmm," was all she could say. He kneeled, so he could wash her legs and feet. He ran his hands slowly over her, leaving tingles in their wake. He wrapped a hand around her ankle, signaling her to lift her foot. She complied, giggling as he swiped over her foot. "That tickles."

He chuckled. "Turn around." She obeyed, carefully making sure not to fall with her soapy feet.

Spike was quickly face to face with her neatly trimmed mound. He cleared his throat, and began scrubbing her body again. He avoided that area though, not wanting to do what was so heavy on his mind. He stood again, washing her taut stomach. He easily washed over her breasts, trying not to notice the firm peaks they had made. He washed down her arms, carefully over her hands. He tried not to jump when she suddenly had her hands around his wrists. He was against the wall of the shower. Her Slayer strength kept him from going anywhere.


	38. Chapter 38

"Buffy, what're you doin'?" Spike said, extremely cautious. He hadn't moved since she pressed him to the wall.

Hearing his voice brought her from her haze. She knew what she was doing, but she tried not to act on it. She wanted him so badly it hurt. She had his arms pinned at his sides, on her tip-toes to reach his face. She released him, backing into the opposite corner. "I'm sorry. Oh…" she shook her head, ashamed she let her feelings take control of her body.

"It's okay, pet," he said, hugging her tightly. "Let me finish. You'll feel better, I swear." She nodded, on the brink of tears. He grabbed her 2-in-1 shampoo-conditioner and poured it his hand. He slowly began to lather it in her hair, massaging her scalp.

"Spike… It feels so good," she groaned.

"Do you want me to stop?" She nodded in reply. "Oh. 'kay, pet." He stopped, and began to leave the shower.

"No. Don't go," she begged. "Please. It's my turn."

He smiled unsurely. He faced her, and was thankful the water hitting his back was starting to get cold.

She followed his suit, pouring the Mountain Fresh body was on the loofa, and she began to wash. She began to wash over his shoulders and back She couldn't help but marvel at him.

She asked him to turn, and noticed there were slightly scars across his chest. "What're you thinkin'?" She was slightly embarrassed he caught her staring.

"Just… basking," she lied. _Actually more like thankful._ She washed, trying not to focus on the scares that reminded her of the pain of the previous years, how badly she had treated him. How he risked his life so Glory wouldn't know about Dawn. _I was such a bitch. No wonder he wanted to kill me._ She had stopped washing, her hands by her sides.

Spike had been watching her. He knew the moment her enthusiasm had dropped. The scars. He watched as her shoulders began to rise and fall. She was shaking. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around her. "Shh…" he whispered. He turned the almost freezing water off, and just held her. She was freezing. He opened the door and quickly grabbed her robe. He covered her with it, and carried her to the bed. "Sit here, pet. I'll be right back." He snatched a towel from the bathroom and put it around his waist. He sat next to her, and held her. "Shh.. Buffy… Stop cryin', luv. Talk to me. What upset you?"

She sniffled, trying to stop her tears. "I remember how you got those scars," she wheezed as she traced the scars with her fingertips.

"Yeah, Glory," he said, angrily. "Soddin' bitch. Stupid bint."

"No… not that. I remember why you got them. You wouldn't tell her about Dawn. I was so mean to you, and you risked your life, because you knew it would kill me if something happened to Dawn. And I was so angry with you. Always was. Hated you. Threatened to kill you." She began to sob for violently now.

Spike didn't say another word, until her tears began to subside.

"Buffy… I know you didn't like me. I didn't like you when I first met you, but you grew on me. And I started to help you and ya mates. It made me feel human again, not like a monster. It helped keep the demon at bay. I know I pretended to hate you, and threaten you. But I never meant it. Except for when I first met you. I meant it then," he chuckled.

She smiled, knowing he was trying to cheer her up, though it really didn't help. "I kept hurting you. So much. Physically, mentally." _Sexually. _"I'm sorry, Spike. I never said it before, but I am. For everything I put you through. You tried to help me, and I just wanted to make you leave. But you never left. And now I don't want you to. Please, never, ever leave again."

"I promise, Buffy. I will never leave you."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know this chapter was short, but I think the ending was kinda perfect. Please review! :)


	39. Chapter 39

Buffy looked at the clock. It was a little after ten, and she needed to be at the school at one to set up. Dawn didn't need to be there until three. "I need to get ready," she whispered to Spike as she stood. He held her for her entire breakdown. _I will never leave you, he said. Thank god._

"Okay, pet." She could hear the caution in his voice. "Are you…"

"I'm okay, now. Thank you," she whispered, her eyes on the floor. His blue eyes followed her as she walked to her closet, the white dress falling as she opened the door. She picked it up, hands shaking, until she felt a pair on hers.

"Shh pet… I can help. If ya want," he offered. She simply nodded and moved from the closet. He hung the dress back up, and plundered for something she could wear. It didn't take long for him to find a sexy, yet professional looking top with bottoms to go with it. He laid the blue sleeveless, ruffled shirt on her bed, along with a pair of taupe pants. He turned to look at the depressed girl who was furiously attempting to brush her tangled locks. "Buffy… Stop… Ya gonna hurt ya'self." He was by her side, once more, stopping her hands and the brush. "Let me," he whispered. She dropped her hands and leaned against him, tears no longer pouring but the feeling of guilt still resided. He slowly pulled the brush through her hair, carefully taking out the knots. "Talk to me," he begged.

"I just feel like I can't say 'I'm sorry' enough."

"Why do I feel like there's something you're not telling me?" he asked.

She sighed deeply, her inner turmoil fighting on whether or not she should tell him. "Because there is. I just don't think I should tell you just yet." _Honesty. Honesty is good. I've lied to him too much, and now I've got a second chance with him, I'm not going to waste it._

"Okay, luv. I trust you." He finished with her hair, and turned her to face him. He put one hand behind her head and leaned down, kissing her lips gently.

"Spike…" she mumbled in his mouth.

"I'll let you get dressed. I need to go to my place to change clothes. I can pick up the girls if ya want, and we'll meet you at the school at two thirty." He pulled away from her. He began to dress, searching the room for his clothes.

"Okay. Will you tell Dawn to come in when you leave? I think her and Selena are downstairs."

"Sure, pet. We'll talk later then?" She nodded and watched him leave.

Spike needed to get away from her. He could handle anything the world through at him, but he couldn't handle tears, especially the Summers women. He remembered the night he found out Joyce was sick. He had come to kill Buffy with a shotgun. Such like a human, using a gun. But instead of finding a fighter, he found a girl, crying on her back porch, scared about her sick mother. So instead of putting a couple shots in her, he sat beside her and comforted her.

He felt sick about it now. He couldn't understand how he had wanted to kill her, and now, he just… he wasn't sure. He wanted to help her, protect her, support her. Could he..? No.

He pulled on his shoes and grabbed his jacket. "Hey, Nibblet," he called.

"Yeah?" she said, coming to him from the kitchen.

"Sis wants ya upstairs."

"Oh. Okay," she said, bouncing up.

As he turned to leave, a wisp of raven hair caught his eye. "Gonna leave without sayin' goodbye, Dad?" Selena asked, anger emphasized on "dad."

"No, pet. Just didn't realize you were there."

"So, how do you know Buffy?"

"We go back…" he said vaguely. "I tried to kill her once."

"And now you're falling asleep together? Wow. What a change of heart."

"Fell asleep watchin' tv last night."

"I meant that you're on much friendlier terms now."

"Yeah. We had a few truces durin' that time. My sire went crazy, and then there were these army blokes after me. Long story. I'll tell ya 'bout it some time."

"So, where are you going now?" she asked as he started for the door.

"I've got a few things to do before graduation tonight. I'll pick you and the other girls up at two thirty."

"Okay. See you, then."

"Yeah, pet. See ya," he said as he shut the door behind him.

"Hey, Buff, what is it?" Dawn said naturally cheerful, coming into her sister's room. Buffy looked at her sister as she sat at her vanity, not having moved since Spike left the room. Her tear brimmed eyes found Dawn's. "Buffy? What's wrong?"

"Umm, I just had a little breakdown earlier," she admitted, forcing a laugh like the entire thing was no big deal. "I saw the scars on Spike's chest, and I freaked out. I mean, I'd seen them before, but seeing them now, it was just too much. I apologized for everything I had done to him. But not really. I couldn't tell him about—about after I came back. And how I used him. So it wasn't a full apology."

It took Dawn a while to take in what her sister was saying. _Buffy tried to apologize to Spike. But Spike doesn't remember their "relationship."_ "But you tried. I'm sure he tried to say it was all okay, but you have to wait to apologize Buffy. You know he doesn't remember what happened between you. And I don't pretend to know everything, but he needs to know before you can truly say you're sorry." Dawn was kneeling next to Buffy, trying to comfort her sister.

Buffy was trying to understand what Dawn was saying. _It makes sense. He doesn't know what all I'm trying to atone for. So, I'll just have to tell him._ Buffy smiled and knew what she was going to do. "Thanks, Dawn. You always know what to say." The two hugged, a tight grip, and Buffy was sincerely thankful for her sister.

Dawn stood, escaping the hug and her sister's death grip. "Now, let's fix you up," she said as she grabbed the hair dryer.


	40. Chapter 40

It was quarter until one, and Buffy was running late. "Supposed to leave ten minutes ago," she mumbled as she grabbed her purse and keys. "Girls! I'm leaving now! Dawn, make sure everyone's ready to go by two thirty! Spike will be here then."

"I know!" Dawn yelled from her room. "GO! You're going to be late!"

She hurried to the school, happy to know that there wasn't a chance for rain in the forecast. _That way everyone can come. Why do I have to sit on the field? I want to be in the stands with my family, cheering as Dawn and Amanda get their diplomas_. _It's just not fair, _she whined to herself. The stadium wasn't huge, but that was okay. There were less than 200 students in the graduating class, so the small field wasn't a big deal. Buffy was just thankful that there were thirty other teachers helping set up, plus the ten administrators and five janitors.

The next hour and a half was a blur. She barely remembered helping set out the 174 chairs, or the stage for the people who would speak. _So proud of Dawn and Amanda. I can't believe they managed to get valedictorian and salutatorian. Dawn, number two in her class. I wasn't even ranked. I passed, and I graduated, sorta. But I was number 30 out of 35. Dawn is two of 174._ Buffy smiled at her thoughts, delighted of her sister and Amanda.

More of the girls were graduating, too, from the other houses: Kyra, Bernie, and Jerica. Alisia, Nicole, and Valerie were freshmen, so they had a while. She knew when the time came, she'd be proud of them, too. Just for graduating.

She looked at her small golden watch. It was almost three. The stands were filled in, and most of the students were in their designated spots. She was sitting with the other teachers, none of them too interesting. Robin was beginning to talk, telling everyone to settle down, and not to use any artificial noisemakers during the ceremony.

Dawn and Amanda had hugged her briefly when they arrived. Both said they were scared and nervous because of their speeches. "Oh, come on," Buffy goaded. "You've faced uber-vamps, a hell goddess, and the First, and you're scared you're about giving a speech!" They laughed, knowing it was ludicrous but true. Buffy glanced into the audience, and back at their peers. "I'll take a Turok-Han any day," she laughed. What made it worse is that the two girls agreed. They hurried to their spots, and Buffy scanned the stands, searching for her friends. She felt the hairs on her neck stand up and a hand on her arm. She turned quickly to see Spike. "I was just looking for you," she said with a smile. She eyed him quickly. His cobalt eyes never seemed to fade. She looked down and was shocked to see that he wasn't wearing his normal black shirt with the red open button up. Instead, he was sporting a white one that seemed to compliment his skin, rather than wash it out with his normal black jeans and boots. _He'd look good in just about anything,_ she thought. _Or in nothing, _her naughty side thought.

"Found you," he said, giving her a quick kiss. "Just wanted to see you before I have to listen to these bleedin' speeches. Hate these things," he complained.

"You know Dawn's making one, right?"

"Lil' bit's doin' a speech?" his eyes widened.

"She's number two in the class. Salutatorian," Buffy bragged.

"Really? Wow. Last I heard she was strugglin' in most of her classes. How'd she—uh—I mean. That's great."

"Willow's helped a lot. Amanda, too," she said, answering his unspoken questions. "All of her credits transferred from Sunnydale just fine. I think the classes here are easier or something, because she took all advanced classes this year. It pulled her GPA up a lot."

"Well, that's good. I'm proud of her," he beamed. "Are ya doin' anythin' for her? Like a party or somethin'?"

"Well yeah!" she exclaimed. _Why'd he think I wouldn't?_ "It's a surprise. Xander and Andrew got her a cake. Willow's gonna do a bit of something-something to decorate before they get home. Gonna order some pizzas again. They seemed to have like that the other day. Apparently my cooking sucks," she rambled.

"Okay, pet. Just makin' sure you all are doin' somethin' to say your proud of 'em."

"Spike, you know you're invited, too."

"Oh, really? Gonna be like that birthday o' yours, huh?" he asked, referring to the time Dawn accidentally wished for them all to be stuck in their old house, with a hostile demon and two civilians, no less.

"Let's hope not," she laughed.

He laughed with her. "Better get to m' seat. Show's about to start." He gave her a quick kiss once again and headed to his seat next to Willow.

…

Buffy tried to focus on the boring speeches Robin and the superintendent of education made. She really did. She could help but staring at her little group. Little being an understatement. It didn't help when her favorite eyes caught hers either; however, when Amanda's name was called, Buffy gave her undivided attention to her.

Amanda had given a remarkable speech. Buffy was anxious to hear Dawn's. She had given looks to Spike throughout, but he remained focused on the rest of the ceremony. She tried to follow suit, but it was tough.

Dawn approached the podium with confidence. Buffy admitted that her sister was beautiful. Her usual straight brunette hair was waved and still mid-back, and it bounced as she walked. Her makeup was light and was just enough to highlight her features.

An eerie silence filled the air as she began to speak. Buffy recognized it. It was the sound of a strong person, giving a strong speech. Buffy gleamed at her sister, an unmistakable delight spread across her face. Her talk only lasted about three minutes, but she could tell everyone was moved by it. As she said her thanks, everyone cheered. Dawn bounced happily from the stage, returning to her seat so she could receive her diploma.


	41. Chapter 41

As the last name was called from the list, a thunderous applause broke out from the audience. Not only was everyone exuberant that the ceremony was over, but they were happy for their loved ones. Dawn and the other girls met with Buffy as soon as Robin released the graduated students, quickly followed by the rest of the gang. Willow, Xander and Andrew fumbled with the cameras, each wanting to be in and take pictures of the girls in their hats and gowns.  
"Now, was that so bad?" Willow asked as she hugged Dawn.  
"Easier than battling a giant demon snake slash mayor and blowing up the school," she laughed.  
The battle for the pictures was evenly matched. Andrew even went as far as to joke able Xander not having to worry about his 'good side.'  
"Hey!" Xander exclaimed. "Giles had to pull through on a lot of favors to get my new eye! Buffy, have I ever told you how happy I am that you killed that son of a gun?" he said, referring to the evil "priest" Caleb.

"Yes, you have. Many times. And you're welcome," she grinned in response.  
"I'm glad you got rid of that eye patch. You as a pirate wasn't really suiting me," Willow joked.

"Fine. Poke jokes at the once Cyclops!" he huffed jokingly.  
"Oh, Xan, you know we love you," Dawn said as she kissed his cheek.  
"You go on and turn in your gowns! We'll meet you back home," Buffy said, handing her keys to Dawn. "I'm going to ride with Spike so you girls can fit in the car a little more comfortably.  
"Okay! I'm so not getting tired of this!" she rejoiced. Buffy shook her head, smiling, and leaned into Spike. He hadn't left her side since the conclusion of the service, and there was no reason for him to start now. Buffy made sure to include him in all the pictures that included Dawn and herself. They had even asked a friend of Robin's to snap a few shots of the whole group, including Anya, Tara, and Spike; Angel unable to make it due to lack of humanity. Tara and Anya barely left Willow and Xander's sides as well. Buffy wasn't sure if it was because they were uncomfortable, or because they felt as she did with Spike. She glanced between Willow and Tara and then to Kennedy, who was giving her signature "go to hell" look, plastered for the whole world to see. She was good at faking smiles for the camera.  
Finally, as the graduates dispersed, Buffy huddled the adults in. "Okay, so Willow, Spike and I will follow you to the house. Xander, Andrew, you go pick up the cake. Faith, you make sure to stall the girls for at least another ten minutes so we'll have enough time."

"What can I do?" Selena spoke up.  
"Ummm," Buffy thought for a minute. "Did you bring your car?"  
"Yeah. _Dad's_ car isn't exactly spacious."  
Buffy's naughtier side grinned. "Okay. You take some of the other girls. My car can only hold four, and Faith's can hold three. So you'll have to take on a few extras since we all have a few extras. Thanks."

"Happy to help," Selena tittered.  
"Alright guys, let's go." The group scattered into the smaller cliques, leaving Spike and Buffy hurrying to his car.  
As it came into sight, Buffy was reminded of the previous night, and how she'd become an animal just by seeing him near the antiqued car. "Sexy car," she voiced, just loud enough for him to hear.  
"Sexier when you're in it," he purred, opening the door for her as he had previously. She laughed at his words, relaxed in his presence. They followed Willow to the house, and Buffy silently wished the girls would really be surprised, but she knew something would be given away with all the cars in front. They rushed in, quickly putting up the already filled balloons that Buffy had hidden in the basement. She luckily remembered to call the pizza place earlier so the pizzas had arrived shortly after they did.  
"Will, do you thing," Buffy said, as she tied a set of balloons to the stair's banister.  
"_Karzaritate tamae,"_ the witch said. Flowers, lanterns, and streamers filled the downstairs areas tastefully.  
"This is great!" Tara said as she looked around. "I didn't know you could do something like this, Willow."  
"Yeah," Willow said bashfully. "I've grown a lot over the years."  
Buffy looked at the clock. It was almost four thirty. "They're going to be here soon," she said. She glanced out the window to see Xander and Andrew strolling up with the cake. She opened the door, rushing them into dining room. The drinks, plates, cups, napkins, and utensils were set out, and now they were just pacing, waiting for the other half of the "family" to get there. She had to constantly stop the girls from eating at the pizza. She peered through the window once more, as she had about twenty times while waiting, to see that Dawn and Faith's cars had finally pulled up. "They're here!" she exclaimed. She hadn't had a party when she finished school. Her mom and Dawn were in L.A. at an exhibition, and her dad was God knows where with his pretty little secretary.  
Spike watched as she bounced around her home, anxious for Dawn's surprise. He felt the anticipation fill the room, and all he could do was smile at the bouncy beauty.  
Everyone made their way into the living room, making sure to give the incoming traffic enough space. The door silently opened, and the group yelled in response. Dawn was the first to come through, just like Buffy had hoped. Dawn's face went slack jawed, which was quickly followed by a screech from the other girls.  
They were ecstatic. No one had mentioned a thing to them about a party. It was truly a surprise, despite the cars.  
"Dawn, did you not see the cars out front?" Buffy asked as Dawn came to hug her.  
"What cars? The only one I saw was Spike's?" she asked confused.

"Oh, that – that was me," Tara spoke up. "I knew you wanted it to be a real surprise, so I cloaked the cars until they were inside."

"Thank you," Buffy said to her. "I mean, really. I didn't think of that."


	42. Chapter 42

The party ran smoothly and without a hitch. Everyone was enjoying their time. The adults had even gotten each of the graduates gifts. Dawn had received three different books on various demonology from Willow, Xander, and Andrew. "Watcher junior," she chuckled. Andrew had given her a digital camera, and a bow from Faith. Buffy had given her a red leather jacket, similar to one she received from Dawn a few years earlier. "These gifts are great guys, really."  
"There's one more!" Buffy laughed as she handed her a brown package. "It's from Giles."  
Dawn hastily opened it, to pull out a bobble head cop. "I don't…" Dawn's face contortioned to confusion.  
"It's a Bobby. A cop," Spike spoke up. "Rupes probably thought it was a joke, or something."  
"A bobble head called Bobby," Dawn chuckled, as she understood. "It's cute."  
The others had received a mixture of weapons from the others. Buffy didn't give them weapons though. She had received too many of them throughout her life. She gave them other things, like clothes, or money, or a book. Something for them to have to relax with, not to use in the battlefield.

It was well after dark before the party started dying down. Buffy was beginning to get tired, despite sleeping in a little. Getting to sleep before the sun came up was something she was still getting used to.

"What is it, pet?" Spike asked, noticing her calm demeanor.  
"Just getting tired," she said, her voice drawn out.  
"Okay, luv. They're startin' to clear out now."  
"Hey, Buffy. I need to run by my parent's house. I was supposed to before graduation, but I had forgotten in the rush," Selena said.  
"Sure, Selena. Just take someone with you. Please," Buffy requested.  
"Okay. Dawn said she'd come with me," she said, attempting to calm Buffy's worry. Buffy knew Dawn could handle herself. The first time she had seen her really fight was when they were trapped in the hole due to Willow's rampage. And as a precaution, Buffy had also given Dawn a gift years ago. It was a necklace she wore for protection. Against the vampiric sort at least. The silver cross hanging from Dawn's neck was something Buffy made her swear to wear at all times, and Dawn happily obliged.  
Buffy watched the two girls leave, and others quickly followed suit. _Hmm, maybe now I can get some rest,_ she thought. "I'm going to go shower," Buffy said to the bleached blonde. "Please don't leave." Buffy tried to keep the pleading out of her voice, but she knew she failed.  
"I told you I never would," he said as he got comfortable on the couch. She smiled to him and headed to the shower she so desperately needed.  
…

…

Dawn sat in the passenger seat of Selena's car as they drove to her parents' house. She knew she was quickly becoming friends with the girl, but there was still a sense of "off-ness" about her. "So, what're you going to get?" Dawn asked.  
"Just checking in, really. They like to see that I'm alive and well."  
"And it doesn't bother you? You're 124 years old," Dawn joked.  
"I know, but I like them. They may be demons, but they're nice people. They kept me safe, and let me do as I wish, basically. They just like seeing me," Selena replied.  
"Oh, okay. Well that makes sense. I'm 18, but Buffy still freaks out if someone's not with me all the time. I mean, I kinda understand, because a demonic hell goddess hunted me down and tried to kill me, but still. That's kinda behind us now. Sorta," her voice had drifted off at the end of her ramble.  
"Demonic hell goddess, huh?"  
"Yeah. Her name was Glory. She had these little minions that looked like scabbed up hobbits, and this alternate personality that was really an inter named Ben who helped my mom when she was sick. Willow did this crazy magic stuff that helped slow her down. Then Buffy had this troll's hammer that she used to beat her to a bloody pulp. Couldn't kill her though."  
"Who, Willow?"  
"No!" Dawn laughed, "Glory, the bitch. She was so freaky…"  
"So what happened? Did she catch you?"  
Dawn sighed. "Yeah. Had this creepy guy who had a tail and a weird stretchy tongue that worked for her, too. He cut me, and used my blood to open a portal to another dimension."

"Well…" Selena said after Dawn stayed quiet. "What happened?"  
"Buffy… Buffy found a way to close it."  
"Oh." They had arrived at Selena's house as Dawn finished telling her tale. "I'm just going to run in. I'll be back in a few minutes."  
"Okay," Dawn whispered. The conversation had taken a different turn than she had intended, but it was okay. She waited patiently as Selena walked inside her home.  
The hairs on her neck stood on ends as she waited. Dawn wanted to believe it was just the night air from her open window, but she knew better. She reached into her purse, brandishing a stake she always kept near her since the Halloween that vampire tried to turn her.  
The last thing she heard was a hissing voice saying, "Kitty's got claws."

…

…

Buffy came back from her shower, twenty minutes later. She came down the stairs sporting a t-shirt and sweatpants. The rest of the girls had either gone to bed or were just doing their own thing. She saw Spike still sitting on the couch, looking as peaceful as ever. She couldn't tell if he was asleep or just "resting his eyes." She sat next to him, jostling him slightly as the couch shifted. "Hey, handsome," she said as she raked her fingers through his hair.  
"Hm, pet. That feels good," he said, leaning to her.  
"Did I wake you?"  
"No," he lied. "Just waitin' on you, you beautiful woman." He readjusted so they could both comfortably sit. "Still tired?"  
"No," she said. A yawn appeared, catching her on her lie. She rested her head against his chest, and he wrapped his arm around her, holding her close to him. "Perfect," she mumbled.  
"Can say that again," he said, kissing the top of her head.  
…

Buffy jumped suddenly. She looked at the clock, and shook Spike awake.  
"What is it, Buffy?"  
"Dawn's been gone for two hours. Something's wrong."


	43. Chapter 43

Spike grabbed his coat, and pulled his shoes on quickly. Buffy pulled her hair back and started calling Willow, Xander, and Faith. None had seen Dawn since the party. "It's just not like her," Buffy said repeatedly, the phrase quickly becoming her mantra, ignoring the time she "stayed at Janice's" that Halloween. The Scoobies were going to wait while Spike and Buffy checked out the Papadpoulos household.  
She told them all to keep their phones on, that she would call if anything came up. She and Spike were going to stop by Selena's. "Oh, I should call Angel. He'd help with smelling her out," she rationalized. Angel agreed to meet them there.  
They arrived within minutes. Spike's manic driving worked in their favor. Buffy rushed from the car, immediately going to Selena's. Dawn! "Dawn!" Buffy exclaimed, hastening to her sister's side. "Spike, check the house!" She flung open the door and began shaking her sister. The ministrations stopped as Dawn began mumbling. "Dawn! Dawn, what happened?"  
"Uh… Um… I don't… Um… Selena. Where is she?"  
"Spike's checking the house. Sweetie, what happened?"  
"I was sitting here, waiting on her. Then I felt a prickle on my skin. I knew a vampire was around. So I went for my stake. I felt something on my neck and someone said something. I didn't recognize the voice."  
"There's no one inside," Spike said as he came to the car. "How are you, Nibblet?"  
"Fuzzy. Buffy, what's going on?" As Dawn's question rang in her head, Buffy knew the answer immediately.  
"It's Drusilla. She's made her move." She pulled her phone out and called Willow, telling her Dawn was found, and safe, but Selena was missing.  
"Dru? What's she got to do with this?" Spike questioned. And here he thought he was finally rid of her.  
"Drusilla needs Selena to do a ritual. It's not supposed to take place until Monday night," Dawn answered.  
"What kind of ritual?"  
"One where Selena has to die to bring on the end of the world," Dawn said nonchalantly.  
"'Course. 'Cause what other kind would there be."

"I'm here," Angel panted as he ran to their sides. "What… Dru? Where is she? I smell her."  
"We don't know, ya poof. Buffy was worried, because Selena and Dawn had come here to, but they didn't return. Obviously, we found Dawn. Now we're lookin' for m'girl."  
"We're flying blind right now, so Angel, we're following you. We're just going to wait for Willow to get here to take Dawn home. Will you see if you can smell anything in the car that shouldn't be there?"  
The four of them paced around. The elders constantly asked Dawn if she could remember anything else and if she was okay. "Guys, enough. I'm fine. If I remember anything else, I'll tell you!" she cried, finally annoyed with them.  
"Sorry, Dawn. We're just worried," Buffy apologized, shamefaced.  
Willow pulled up quickly and rushed to Dawn's side. "Oh, Dawnie! Are you okay? Oh, we've been so worried," she said, pulling Dawn into a hug.

"I'm fine. I'm fine. Now let's go so these guys can find Selena." Dawn said, pulling Willow back to her car.  
"We'll call you when we find her!" Buffy called. As the pair drove off, Buffy turned to the two men staring at her. "Okay, Angel. Where'd she go?" Angel inhaled deeply. Without a word, he started for the house. They followed him as he walked in, no invite needed.  
"Her parents aren't human." It wasn't a question.  
"No. She said they were demons that could change their appearances. We didn't have any reason to think they were hostile."  
"No, they're not hostile towards humans."  
"Well, what kind are they? Where are they?"  
"They're Vigilo demons. They're usually peaceful until they find a source of great power. They can change their looks, like you said. But they only make themselves look younger. They could be hundreds of years old, and you would never know. They're strong, and they're smart."  
"They are hundreds of years old," Buffy said quietly. "A source of great power. Uh-huh. What kind of power?"

"A kind that benefits them. Maybe like this ritual that involves Selena."  
"So what? You think they're workin' for Dru?" Spike asked him.  
"I wouldn't put it past them."  
"Where did they go from here?" Buffy asked, bringing him back to the more needed questions. Angel walked the length of the house, sniffing the air as he walked back and forth. He strolled back outside and started walking down the sidewalk. Buffy and Spike followed, but kept their distance from him.  
Although Spike was worried about Buffy, he kept himself quiet. His daughter was in trouble, and he didn't even know where to begin looking. All he knew was that he had to put his trust into Angel, one of the most sadistic, unnerving vampires he'd ever met. But he had to do it. A shiver ran through him, though his duster was wrapped around him. He reached across the short distance to Buffy and took her hand in his.  
She pulled her phone out, dialing Willow. "Will, do some research on a Vigilo demon. Seems like that's what Selena's parents were. Yeah, we're looking for her. We'll be careful. Keep Dawn safe. See you soon. Bye." She became silent again as they slowly followed Angel. Spike could sense that she was entirely too upset and slowly becoming sleep deprived. "Angel, can we go any faster?" she begged.  
"Just going as fast as Spike can keep up," he said, venom thick in his voice.  
"Don't worry 'bout me, mate. Let's find the girl." And to that, the vampire took off running. Buffy could keep up easily, but it didn't take long for Spike to lag behind.  
"Sometimes, I hate bein' human again," he said as they came to an abrupt stop. They were at the park where Buffy had found Spike. "What're we doin' here?" confusion settling in.  
"The scent stops here," Angel replied sharply. "Did you realize this is where the Hellmouth is?"  
"Seriously? What is it with demonic energies being focused on places where children are? You know what, never mind. I don't want to know. So where is it precisely? In Sunnydale, it was over the library. Where is it here?" Buffy complained in her ramble.  
"Over the merry-go-round. Do you see something different over there?"  
Buffy enclosed on the playground's highlight. There definitely was something different about it. She could feel it now. A strong power was in this area. She looked closely to the wheel and noticed there was indeed something about it. The dirt sunk under the contraption, rather than billowing at its center. "It—it opens. Somehow," she mumbled. She quickly started searching for something else that was out of the ordinary. She pushed and pulled the bars, pushing the center of the rig, trying everything she could think. She slunk onto the frame, burrowing her head into her hands. She was close to giving up. _NO! I can't give up! Selena needs me!_ And just as soon as she stood, she saw Spike kick a particularly large stone, and the metal moved beneath her. She leapt off, startled by the movement. "Wha-?" she asked in bewilderment.  
Spike looked down at the stone and was baffled on how it moved. "That's so Indiana Jones," he laughed.

Buffy shook her head and watched as it rose a full five feet into the air. A spiral staircase wrapped into the ground. "Anyone have a flashlight?" Buffy asked, cautiously looking into the ground.  
"How about vampire sight?" Angel joked, ducking to get onto the stairs.


	44. Chapter 44

Selena blinked as she opened her eyes. She was on the floor in a small, dimly lit area that she didn't recognize. She tried to move, but she slowly realized that she was tied up.  
"Tsk-tsk-tsk," she heard a woman say. "Lit'le girl mustn't move. You'll make Ms. Edith mad."  
"Who are you?" she tried to say to the woman who was hidden in the shadow, but her voice was muffled. She was gagged. _This is great!_ she thought sarcastically. _Oh, Buffy, please find me soon._

…

…

Buffy didn't even pretend to see anything as they walked. She had one hand on Angel's back, the other still holding Spike's hand. Ever since _that night, _Buffy had hated being underground. She refused to patrol the sewers, and even shook at the thought of going into the Magic Box's basement. This scared her. She couldn't see a thing, and she found herself hoping her Slayer sense would go into overdrive. "Angel," she whispered, "what do you see?"  
"Not much. Dirt. Can't smell much either."  
_There he goes, _she thought. _Mr. Monosyllabic._ "Do you smell Dru?"  
"Honestly?"  
"Duh."  
"No. I can't smell anything other than rats and bugs. I think we should turn back and try again later. Maybe Willow or Xander can get us schematics of the park."

"Schematics! Oh, I just remembered! The box! I was supposed to get the layout of that mausoleum from Xander!" she exclaimed , reanimated about their dark mission. "Come on. Let's head back."

The trio headed back to Selena's home to get Spike's car. As Buffy began to enter it, Angel simply stated that he would rather run. Not caring one way or the other, the two drove off, leaving Angel in the dust.

"Ugh," Buffy groaned. "This is just getting to be too much. I mean seriously. Does there have to be an apocalypse _every_ year?"  
"Only reason there is is because you know about it. If you weren't the Slayer, you wouldn't know otherwise," Spike expressed.  
"That's true, I guess," she said as laid her head against the seat and rubbed the bridge of her nose.  
After a few moments of silence, she heard Spike whisper. "Do you ever think you'd give it up?"  
"Give up being the Slayer?" she asked dumbfounded. "Well, yeah. Back when I first met Kendra. I thought it was the best thing I'd ever heard. She could slay, and I could live my life as a normal girl. But it wasn't until Riley left that I realized I'd never be normal. I've accepted that the Slayer is part of me. It's who I am."  
"Hm," was all Spike said.  
"Why?" she asked after the silence tore into her.  
"Just wonderin'," he said, blowing it off as if it wasn't a big question. "We've got more pressin' matters to worry 'bout right now though." He pulled into Buffy's drive and the two dashed inside. Buffy called Xander, asking him to bring over the mausoleum plans. Willow said she could hack into the plans for the park through the City Hall records. Xander and Andrew arrived the same time Angel did. Willow called Faith, telling her that Dawn was safe and they were going into research. Although Faith declined the research, she urged them to call her if they were going to "kick some ass."  
"Okay, Xan-man. What do you have for me?"  
"Plans, just like you asked," he said, clearing off the dining table before unrolling the paper. "Here's the mausoleum," he pointed on the paper.  
"And here's the park," Willow said, setting down a piece of copy paper that had the section printed on it.  
"They're connected. Go figure. What's this area here?" she asked, pointing to an open underground section in the middle of the two points.  
"That's the basement of a church that used to be there. Says here that it was demolished in the sixties, reason unknown," Willow said, turning her computer so Buffy could see.  
"Okay. Did you find anything on Vigilo demons?"  
"According to , they're smart, strong, can reduce their aging, and they like power. They're usually peaceful."  
"That's what Angel said. Anything else?"  
"Not really."  
"Alright… Dawn. Dawnie, how are you?" she breathed, finally able to assess her sister.  
"I'm fine. Really. My neck is sore."  
"Neck? Let me see!" Buffy moved her sister's hair and sighed as she didn't see bite marks. She did see two red points though.  
"Drusilla is good with pressure points," Angel said as he hovered over her shoulder.  
"Pressure points? So is that what made Dawn go unconscious?"  
"Yeah. Curious to why she didn't kill her," he said indifferently. "I mean, I'm glad she didn't, but still. I'm curious." Dawn stepped away from the vampire, increasingly uncomfortable in his presence.  
"Alright, well, we need to come up with a plan. Any ideas?"

"Charge in and save the day?" Andrew spoke up.  
"Ultimately, yeah," Spike said. "But we need somethin' else. What else is there to this ritual?"  
"Well, the box is involved. We know that much. And Selena. And June 21," Buffy rattled on.

"So, where's the box?" Angel asked.  
"Safe," Dawn said. "Selena hid it, since she's the only one who can open it."  
"Do you actually know where it is?" Buffy asked.  
"Yes," Dawn replied, giving Buffy a look she didn't understand. "Buffy, can I talk to you for a minute?" she said, dragging her sister into the kitchen. After making sure she was out of hearing distance, she turned the radio on to cover their conversation, just to be on the safe side.  
"Dawn, what's going on?" a concerned Buffy asked.

"I don't trust Angel."  
"I know, but what's this about?"  
"No, I mean I _REALLY_ don't trust him. There's something different about him tonight."  
"Oh." Dawn's words were sinking in. She thought he was involved with Selena's kidnapping. "OH!" she said, the full realization hitting her. "So what're we gonna do?"  
"I was hoping you'd ask."

The sisters emerged from the kitchen. Spike, Andrew and Xander looked at them curiously, but Buffy could swear she noticed a frustrated look on Angel's usually blank face. "Something wrong, Angel?" she asked.  
"No, just trying to come up with a plan."


	45. Chapter 45

Spike and Buffy were sitting on the couch, mulling over the schematics in front of them. The others were surrounded around the dining room table, reading the various texts on the ritual. "Well, luv, I don't know about you, but I could use some fresh air," Spike said, standing and offering his hand to her.  
"That sounds great," she said, taking his hand and leading to her back porch. The pair walked across the short lawn to the broad swing that was set up under the sky. Spike sat, offering his arms to her. She accepted happily and tucked her legs under her as she cuddled next to him. They were quiet as he rocked.  
"Buffy (Spike)," they said simultaneously. "You first."  
"Go ahead," Buffy insisted.  
"Buffy, I've been wanting to talk to you. I know there's a lot goin' on right now, but I can't get these images out of my head."  
"What images?" she asked, sitting up, face to face to him.  
"They started a few days ago. I saw you at Red's shop. When I went to the loo, I had a flash of you kissin' me. Roughly. And then I was against a wall, and we were fallin'. Then, last night when I got the stuff from the lake, I saw you. And I was against a wall, and then we fell through the floor. And then this mornin', when you touched my scars, I saw you comin' in to my crypt, and you kissed me. It was different from the other times."  
Buffy was inaudible as she listened to Spike's memories coming back.  
"Buffy… Are those my mem'ries?" She nodded slightly. She didn't know why, but she was starting to get scared._ What if he remembers everything, and he doesn't love me anymore? What if he remembers how I hurt and used him just so I could feel something? He was the only one who made me feel anything for so long. Oh, god…_

"I don't—when? Were we together? Somethin' tells me "no," but…" his voice trailed. He didn't know what else to say. _When did I start having feelin's for the Slayer?_ As soon as he thought it, he remembered seeing her dance at the Bronze. He had just come to SunnyHell to help Dru get better. He watched her move, and though he desperately wanted to touch the bronzed goddess in front of him, he knew better. "The Anointed One" had minions throughout the club, watching him, watching her. When they questioned him about it, he simply said he was trying to get to know his enemy.  
He knew he was supposed to wait until the following Saturday before he went after her, but as he walked past the high school, seeing the Parent-Teacher Day sign, he couldn't resist. So many "happy meals" just waiting for him. Having the Slayer there was a plus. He relished in watching her fight, with such fire and veracity. Her quick little puns and comebacks.  
Then after he got the chip in his head, he saw her dancing again, but this was different. She was grinding on the guys next to her, though he knew she was seeing Solider Boy. And then she was walking toward him, not seeing him, and it made him mad. She could just come in there and pretend not to see him, and it pissed him off. So he said something to her. After a strange turn in the conversation, she was coming on to him, something he never thought she would do in her lifetime.

"I could have anything. Anyone. Even you, Spike. I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up. I've got muscles you've never even dreamed of. I could squeeze you until you popped like warm champagne, and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more," she had said. And he knew he wanted it. Everything she had said, he wished right then for it to be true. But she just walked away.  
He remembered being so angry with himself for letting her get under his skin like that. It just wasn't right. She was the Slayer, and he was the Slayer of Slayers. He wanted so badly to stop wanting to see her, to stop hoping he'd feel a small touch of her skin, even if it meant getting the shit beat out of him.  
He remembered when Red cast that spell that made them want to get married. Just get married. Nowhere in the spell said anything about happiness or love. But that's what he felt when he asked her to make him that happiest man in the world. That's what he felt when he was finally able to kiss her, to hold her so close to him, and to stare into her eyes without being chastised or insulted.

What bothered him though was when did fighting her became something different? When did fighting against her become fighting for her?

He remembered the night Buffy came back. She looked so lost. He saw her hands, bloody from breaking out of her own coffin. He understood. He knew when he broke out how freaked out he was. He just wanted to hold her, comfort her, and tell her everything was okay now.

But he remembered her making him so angry, and he lashed out. Because what else could he do to his "enemy", this woman who had done everything in her power to spoil his plans? And they fought. Punch after punch, kick and throw. "Afraid I'm gonna—" but the words were cut off. Buffy's lips were suddenly on his. He didn't know why, but he didn't care. It's what he wanted. They continued to throw the other, pushing against walls, but the heat of the fight became something else entirely. It became the heat of passion. He had finally gotten his taste of the Slayer.

"Spike?" Buffy whispered, regaining his attention. He looked to her, a cloud of confusion covering his eyes.  
"Did you love me?" he muttered.  
"Not at first," she said truthfully. "But I did. I—I do. That's what I was going to talk to you about. I was going to tell you everything."  
"Everythin', huh? Right then. Go ahead."

Buffy launched into her tale about the first time he said he loved her, because up until then, she ignore his advances as being "that thing about Spike" that just annoyed her. She thought he was just trying to get under her skin. He chuckled when she told him that Dawn was actually the one who told her he was "obviously in love" with her. She was dumbfounded, wanting to ignore it and pray to God she was joking. Then he had almost said it. He threatened to stake Drusilla for her.  
His face became solemn when she said that. "If I would have," he began, "we wouldn't be in this situation."  
"It's not your fault," she said as she caressed his face. "It's mine. I was so angry. You always had a way to bring out the anger in me. But it wasn't until we talked that it was because you always said what I didn't want to hear. I hated that you were always right about me. About everything. You knew I didn't love Riley before I did. I remember what you said about me and Angel trying to be friends."  
As if on cue, he quoted the words. "'You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love 'til it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other 'til it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Real love isn't brains, children. It's blood. It's blood screaming inside you to work its will.'"  
"Yep. It was true. Little did I know that it also applied to us."


	46. Chapter 46

**To MMWillow13: Thank you for being a loyal reader. I enjoy your reviews. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right.  
****To Aubrie: Thank you so much! You made me blush as I read your review. It made me very happy as well.  
****Finally, To marty powell: I hope you're still reading! I haven't had any reviews from you lately.  
****Thanks to all who read. Feel free to review or PM me. I love the reviews more than I thought I would. You guys make writing easier knowing someone likes it.**

Spike inhaled sharply, not expecting to hear that from her. "So… what happened after Dru escaped?"  
"Well, you kind of became obsessed with me. I didn't know it at the time. You got this guy to make a Buffybot."  
"A what?"  
"A robot that looked like me."

"Did not!" he said in shock.

"Yep. You did. You think I could make this up?" she laughed. "But anyway, it turned out to be a good thing, because it helped us defeat Glory."  
"I thought you defeated her by beatin' her to a bloody pulp with that troll hammer?"  
"Yeah, but the bot helped. Then I came back, and you—we… we started a relationship." She was so solemn now. The laughter in her voice had died down. "There was a demon, and he made us sing and dance our feelings out. You sang to me, told me to leave you alone until I could face my feelings to you. That night, we kissed. I blamed it on Sweets. And then Giles left, and I felt lonely, so I found you. Honestly, I used you, Spike. But after Riley came back, rubbing my face into everything he had that I didn't, I broke it off. I knew I was hurting you, and that I was using you, and it killed me. I hated myself for it. And then, you tried—to show me that I loved you."  
"I tried to show you? How?" He was standing now. Looking at her with hurt and confusion across his face, he tried to remain steady.  
"You… umm," Buffy didn't know what to say. She looked at him, trying to find a way to say "you almost raped me, but didn't mean it as rape" to this man. "You tried to—umm—force me to love you."  
"I tried—to rape you?" his voice rasped.  
"No! Not rape. I thought of it like that, but I understood what you were trying to do. I can't say I know what you were thinking, but I understand."  
"Then tell me, Buffy! Tell me why I tried to 'force' you to love me! Tell me why I can't remember that I had a relationship with you, and that I let you use me! Tell me why!" he yelled. He was walking in circles, backing away from her, completely in hysterics.  
She stood, quickly racing to him to calm him. "Because I did love you! I was just too stupid and stubborn to even think it then!" She said as she grabbed his arms, pulling him to her. "That was something I hated! You always, _ALWAYS_ knew what to say and do to push my buttons. And _everything_ you said was true! It—it drove me crazy. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want you to tell me how I felt. I wanted to know for myself. But by the time I finally told you, the world was falling in around us. I told you that I loved you, and you told me I didn't." Buffy wasn't looking at him anymore. Her arms were by her side, and she felt like collapsing.  
Spike's arms tense as he felt her body slacken. He half carried her back to the swing. "Buffy, pet…" he didn't know what to say. So much was coming back to him that it began to hurt.

"I'm sorry, Spike. That's what hit me earlier today. I remembered how I had hurt you and it killed me. Spike, I'm so, sorry. I'm sorry I used to hit you, and hurt you, and use you. I'm so-" Her words were cut off by Spike's lips crushing to hers. He was holding her close, hands in her hair and on her back.  
"I'm sorry, too, pet," he said as he resurfaced and allowed them to breath. "I know it's a little late, but I never meant to hurt you. I certainly never wanted to force myself onto you. Buffy, luv, do you forgive me?"  
"Only if you forgive me," she said. She only now allowed herself to look into his eyes. The clarity of the blueness cut into the night and into her heart.  
"'Course," he said hoarsely. He brought his lips back to hers, lightly placing kisses across her lips and face. He back away once again, cupping her cheek and tucking a sprig of hair behind her ear. "I remember now," he whispered.  
"Remember what?" she asked, awestruck.

"Loving you." He kissed her again, but this time with more fire. Buffy moved to be able to kiss him better. She hadn't kissed him like this since before the First. She shifted so that she was straddling him, pressing every part of her body to his that she could manage.  
It wasn't long before their breathing began pants. Spike lunged. With lightning speed for a human, he pressed Buffy's back into the seat of the swing and hovered over her. "God," he moaned. "Can't believe… how much… I've missed this," he said between kisses. He started kissing her neck, licking and nipping over the scars his grandsire and great-great-grandsire left. "Somethin' I always wanted to do," he said in her ear, sucking on her earlobe.  
"Hmm?" was all Buffy could manage to say. She hadn't felt like this in so long, and in no way did she want to let it go.  
"Wanted to bite you. Take these marks away, and put a set of my own. Wanted to claim you," he said before kissing her lips again. They kissed for several more minutes, and neither heard the door open from the house.  
"Ahem," a throat cleared. No response. "AHEM!"  
Not being able to ignore the crude attempt to get their attention, Spike sat up, pulling Buffy with him. "What?" he said angrily, looking to the figure who dared interrupt.  
"Dawn needs you, Buffy," the deep tone said.  
"Fine," Buffy said, as she hopped to her feet. "I'll be right back," she said, leaning down to give Spike a quick kiss before heading to the house.  
"I'll be here," he promised.  
"You didn't have to be so rude, Angel," she said, pushing past him to get inside.


	47. Chapter 47

**Hey, sorry for the mix up. Thank you, MMWillow13, for bringing it to my attention. Here's the actual chapter 47. :)  
**  
"So, what'd ya need, Dawnie?" Buffy knew she looked flustered. Not that she was embarrassed to being "caught" making out with Spike, but it was more like she was excited to the thought of being back together with him, in every way.  
"What do you mean?" Dawn said, looking up from the book she was trying to translate.  
"Angel said you needed me," she said.  
"No, I'm g-. Buffy. Where's Spike?"  
"He's outside." Realization hit Buffy a mere second after Dawn leapt from her seat. The two raced outside, not seeing either the vampire or his now human grandchilde.  
"What's going on?" Xander asked, walking to them.  
"Angel kidnapped Spike," Buffy said, a certain glaze coming over her eyes. "Call Faith. We're going in."  
The group set out faster than thought possible. Faith and Robin were going to take the entrance from the mausoleum, while Buffy and Dawn were going to take the one from the park. Willow, Xander, and Andrew had insisted they come, but Buffy refused. Someone needed to look after the remaining girls, and she didn't need any one else being used as leverage. And although she tried talking Dawn out of coming, she knew Dawn was as stubborn as she was, and since Dawn had two important people waiting for them, Buffy understood it was no use.  
With walkie-talkies at their hips and flashlights in hand, Buffy pressed the rock Spike had earlier. The merry-go-round whirled upwards, allowing them entrance into its secret cavern.  
"It's going to be daylight soon. We—oh. No we don't. Spike's human," Buffy smiled.  
"I can't believe I was right," Dawn said, climbing in after her sister.  
"I thought you hated Angel?"  
"Oh, I do. I just didn't want to be right. I didn't want him to take Spike. Especially since you can actually be with Spike now. I'm so glad he's back."  
"Me too. Now, let's find him and Selena before the ritual starts."  
…

…

Spike sat in the swing, waiting for Buffy's return even though she'd only walked away less than a minute ago. He was anxious. Angel was beside him quicker than his brain had time to register.  
"'ey! What're you—" and he was cut off. Spike couldn't feel a thing, nor could he speak.  
"Grab him. Let's go." Angel stalked off, as a furyore demon approached Spike from the shadows. The brute picked up the small—in comparison—man and heaved him over his shoulder. Spike tried to fight, tried to move, tried to speak. How could Angel betray Buffy? Didn't he love her? Or was he furious that Spike had replaced him? that he had become human, and swept the brooder's old flame from under his nose?

No, that couldn't be right. Buffy loved Spike for years. She said so herself. And Angel… he heard everything. Spike knew that now. Angel had heard the entire conversation. He knew that Spike had "forced himself" onto her at one point. But it hadn't gone anywhere. He knew that. It didn't matter if they had forgiven each other. Angel was angry. Worse. He was rabidly mad. Buffy hadn't told him, even if it wasn't his business. He left her. But he still loved her. He felt he needed to protect her.  
However, why was the demon waiting? Angel had planned this. He may not have planned to hear what he did, but he had planned to betray them. Their conversation only added fuel to the fire.  
Spike could do nothing as the demon raced down the streets. They arrived at the mausoleum; the exact one Buffy was planning to raid later. That gave the immobilized man a bit of hope.

As they descended into the cavern beneath the tomb, Spike only wished he could see what was going on. Not only was it dark underground, but he was also facing the backside of the furyore. He was suddenly very thankful the demon was so large, or else he'd be face-to-face with the demon's behind.  
After just a few minutes, they had reached a larger area. _Must be the basement Red told us about. Wonder where he's taking me…  
_"Almost there, Spikey-Boy," Angel called behind him. Spike heard something click and then slide into place. There was a faint light coming from behind him, in front of the demons. As they crossed a barrier unknown to him, the wall shut. They walked for minutes more, before arriving in a smaller room. The furyore demon shrugged Spike off, setting him against the wall. His wide eyes tried to take in everything he saw. There was a sarcophagus in the center of the area, candles and torches barely lighting the dank tomb.  
He noticed on the opposite wall was his daughter, bound and gagged and, from the looks of it, unconscious. Apparently, whatever was done to him wasn't enough for her. He kept trying to move, trying to talk, but to no avail. "Ooh… Spike," Drusilla said as she sauntered to him. She knelt down, running her sharp nails over his cheek and toward his neck. "I've missed you, but you've changed. You're human now," she said, cutting shallowly into his neck. "Your blood doesn't even call to me, William." She pressed a finger into his neck and walked away. "My Angel," she said, sliding to the vampire, running her hands across his chest. "I've really missed you. You were mean to me last I saw you. How's Grandmummy?"  
"Dead. You know that, Dru," Angel said callously. His voice was cold and hard. The unwell woman whimpered, disliking the way Angel talked to her. She stalked to Selena as if noting the trio of humanoid creatures in her presence. "Why did you want me?" Angel asked once again, having not moved from when Drusilla had left him.  
"Wanted you to see," she said lightly. "Wanted you to be proud of your dark princess."  
"Could never be proud of you, Drusilla. I hate myself for torturing you the way I did."  
"Shh…." She said, shushing him immediately. "William," she called in a sing-song, "My William. Do you want to be different again? Don't you want to be my William?"


	48. Chapter 48

Spike was astonished a loud, resounding "No," came from his throat. When had he regained the use of his voice? He didn't care now. He tried moving his appendages, but nothing happened. The pressure point Drusilla had undone must have only been for his vocal chords. "I never want to be like you," he spat.  
"Awww," she whined. "Angel, make him stop. Spikey's being mean…"  
"He doesn't care anymore, Dru. He's in love with her."  
"I know. The stars tol' me."  
"They did not, you stupid bint. I told you. Three years ago."  
"But I knew before, naughty boy," she patronized. "You went back because of her. The pixies told me. She was all around you."  
"So what if I did?" he shouted to her. "You didn't love me! So what does it matter?" Drusilla began cowering behind the sarcophagus.

"Shhh!" she exclaimed, anger in her tone. "Angel, did you bring my present?"  
"No. Stupid girl wouldn't tell me where it was."  
The crazed vampire clutched her hair and began to wail. "No, no, no! Can't do it. No present. Need the box. Need the girl. Need the man. No, no!"  
"Oi! Get her to shut up, mate," Spike said, trying to get Angel to make the wails stop.  
"I can't move," Angel said hesitantly.  
"You can't move? Did she use the points on you, too?"  
"No!" he said, flatly. "I don't know what it is, but I can't move."  
"Oh, my present…" she whined. She suddenly shot up from her hiding place and looked to the two demons that were opposite of Angel. "You," she began. "Go. Find it, and bring it to me!" If Dawn was there, she would have compared Drusilla's voice and actions to those of Gollum, from _Lord of The Rings_.  
Selena's parents darted from the room, no doubt going to search for the box.  
Spike had been listening to the woman's hysterics. She needed the box, whatever it may be. She needed Selena, and she needed him. He didn't know why, but he had a feeling he'd find out soon.  
…

…

Buffy and Faith had arrived in the basement room at the same time. They all had been prepared to fight once they reached there carrying stakes and axes alike. Aside from Buffy, who had her newly favorite weapon: the Scythe. They relaxed lightly, but neither let their defenses down. Their sense were on high alert, but neither expected to hit from behind as they searched the room.  
It wasn't like someone had purposely hit them. It was more of a stumbled upon, knock down. They turned, poised ready to fight, but there wasn't anyone there.  
"Where'd they go?" Buffy asked, quickly searching the room.  
"Who?" Robin asked.  
"The—uh—things that just bumped into us," she replied.

"I didn't see anyone," Dawn said.  
"Huh… okay…" The four of them traced over every crevice of the room. Buffy knew there was something else in here, mainly because neither Spike, nor Drusilla was here. She scanned the walls, trying to notice anything out of the ordinary, like Angel had told her earlier. "Who came up with the ideas of hidden walls?" she asked, mainly talking to herself.  
"I think it was the Greek," Dawn said matter-of-factly.  
"Sneaky bastards," Faith said casually.  
Buffy paced in front of a wall and making her rounds until something tripped her. She turned quickly, and saw nothing on the ground. She noticed she caused dust to stir, and then watched as it was suddenly sucked into the wall next to her. "I found something."  
"What is it?"  
"Watch." The dust from her trip had already settled, so she stirred it again. Holding the flashlight up to see better, they watched as it sunk into the wall, exactly as it had previously. "There's an air current here. Let's find the trigger." Two of them began searching the floor as the other two tried the walls.  
Dawn was beginning to get tired. She leaned against an old wine crate, and that's when the door opened. "Really?" she whined. "I sit for one second, and it opens the door we're looking for. I mean, don't get it wrong, I'm glad, but I'm tired."  
"You didn't do it, girly," Faith said, pointed to Robin who had his hand on a sunken brick.  
"Oh," she laughed.  
"Let's do this," Buffy said. "Be careful, watch your back. Get Spike and Selena out. Don't attack Angel unless he attacks you. And don't touch Drusilla. She's mine."  
They walked down the path silently, only the rubbing of their clothes made a sound. Buffy could see a light forming at the end and signaled them to turn their lights out. The darkness swallowed them. There was no sound. Buffy's eyes were straining in the sudden darkness. They continued to walk cautiously. She could hear incomprehensible murmurs in the room ahead. They stalked ahead, curiosity digging into them.  
Buffy could recognize the voices now. Drusilla, Angel, and Spike. Arguing from the sounds of it.  
"Dru, you really don't want to do that," Angel warned.  
"Why not? Doesn't Spikey want to play?"  
"No, I don't want to play! Get away from me, you mental twit!" Spike shouted. She peered around the last turn, seeing Drusilla hovering over Spike. Buffy wondered why he couldn't just move from her himself. She saw Angel, not five feet from them, watching, and for a second she considered him to be Angelus. Why couldn't he just step in and help Spike?  
"Buffy!" Andrew's voice came over the walkie-talkie. _SHIT!_ Buffy's mind screamed. She fumbled with the device, trying to shut the voice up. "Someone or some_thing_ has been here! I was walking around the house, and Dawn's room was trashed! I didn't see—" click. That was enough. Buffy knew that whatever had bumped into her earlier was the thing that trashed Dawn's room. They were after the box. Buffy looked up from the talkie, only to see the furyore demon walking toward her.  
"Looks like we're not welcome," Faith joked. She jumped ahead, fighting off the demon. "Buffy, go. We got this," she said as Robin joined her fight.


	49. Chapter 49

Buffy and Dawn rounded the corner fully, eyeing the two vampires in front of them.  
"How dare you?" she hissed to Angel. "You were supposed to be helping _me. _Helping _us_!"  
"You wouldn't understand," he said, head hanging.  
"Like hell I wouldn't." Drusilla eyed the girls carefully. "Dawn," Buffy whispered, "Get Selena and get out." Dawn nodded and shot for the unconscious girl.  
"Tsk-tsk," Drusilla said as she countered Dawn's rescue. "Mustn't move the girl. Ms. Edith wouldn't like it."  
"I don't give a damn about you or your stupid dolls," Dawn said, pushing forward.  
"Naughty girl. Saying such mean things. Angel, make her stop."  
"No," he said plainly. Buffy was still wondering why he hadn't moved.  
"Angel, why can't you move?" she asked as she circled Drusilla, coming between her and Dawn.  
"I don't know. I got here, and I haven't been able to move since."  
Drusilla giggled psychotically. "It's coming!" she said, clapping her hands and looking to the ceiling. Buffy hadn't realized that there was a hole in top of the cave. Small, something no one would notice unless in the presence of a crazy vampire. At that moment, Buffy hit the ground. The furyore demon had left Faith, and came after her. "Get rid of them," Drusilla shrieked.  
Buffy remembered what was said about them. _Dismemberment. Got it._ She swung her scythe, barely missing the demon's throat. She moved quickly, avoiding the giant hands that swung at her. She turned the weapon swiftly, slicing one hand from the beast's arm. It roared in pain but continued to fight.  
"Buffy!" Spike shouted. She turned to look at Drusilla, who had managed to disarm Dawn, and beginning to close in on her. Buffy ducked and rolled as she heard the demon coming for her once again, cutting the opposite knee off in the process. It fell to the ground, vainly attempting to stand again. With one quick slice, the head was off, rolling away from the rest of the body. "I'll deal with you later," she said, focusing once more on Drusilla. "Now, get the hell away from my sister." Drusilla didn't falter. She stepped forward, quickly jabbing Dawn's arms and neck. Dawn stood, her fighting stance dissipated. The crazed woman lifted Selena onto the slab, and grabbed a dagger from a hidden crevice. She lightly cut inside of the girl's arms, letting blood flow slowly down. Buffy jumped forward, poising to kill.  
"Kill 'er, Buffy!" Spike encouraged. Drusilla looked to him, a smile spread across her face.  
Buffy rocked toward her, blade swinging in hopes to make a connection. She made sure to stay away from the vampire's hands, seeing first hand at the damage they could do. She briefly thought of Kendra, and how she was caught in Mistress's thrall. They hashed throws, circling the around, neither breaking stance. _It would be great if Faith would help._ Buffy risked a look over Drusilla's shoulder to see both Robin and Faith limp against the walls of the cave. _God, I hope they're only unconscious._  
All of a sudden, a blow knocked Buffy into the wall of the cave, with a giggle erupting from Drusilla as she watched. She looked to her attacker, only to see Angel. "Why?" was all she asked. Her wide eyes focused on him.  
"Because I can't do it," he said, not looking into her eyes.  
"Do what?" Buffy said, beginning to get flustered.  
"Live in a world where you don't love me," his voice was only a whisper.  
"You're a vampire! You're not alive," she exclaimed as she rose to her feet. "You decide to cause an apocalypse, just because I'm not in love with you? That's a new low, even for you! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you."  
"Because you love me. And I have a soul. The only time you ever needed to kill me was when Angelus took over."  
"But part of you _is_ Angelus. With a soul, you just have him caged. Trapped. Like a dog in a muzzle. Can't bite, but you take the muzzle off, and he'll attack the whole neighborhood. So, tell me again why I shouldn't stake you." She was walking towards him, weapon bared, never breaking her stance.  
Angel glanced up, and eyed her wearily. "You're right," he said brashly. "Angelus is a muzzled dog. So why not just put him out of his misery?"  
Buffy was taken back from his words. He actually wanted her to kill him.  
"You saw what happened when you took the muzzle off, Buffy," he jeered. "I killed Jenny. I stalked you, and your friends and your _family_. I tortured Giles. I killed countless innocents, and I even tried to bring hell on earth, because it seemed like a good idea at the time. So tell _me_, Buffy. Why don't you just kill me already?" He charged toward her, trying to land blow after blow, which she blocked every time. She landed a blow to his stomach, resulting in him momentarily doubling over. She paced around him, waiting for him to recover. He stood erect once more, and they continued their close quarters combat.  
Buffy heard a groan and risked looking for the person it came from. Angel took that time to make his hit count. He kicked Buffy in the sternum, sending her flying once more into the cave wall.  
"I told you," the raven-haired maniac giggled. Buffy tried in earnest to keep from blacking out. Her head had hit the wall, and it was all she could do to keep her eyes on her opponents. She watched as Drusilla moved to Spike, then carried him to the slab, poising him on the left side of Selena. She felt something move beside her. The creatures that had run into her before were back, running to Drusilla. They cowered next to her, saying words like, "My mistress," and bowing to her. As they bowed, they produced what they had searched her home for.  
The box.  
_Oh shit,_ Buffy thought as she stood, inching her way toward the center. She looked to Spike, who looked like he'd rather be standing at the gates of hell rather than be an active participant in Drusilla plot.  
"Buffy," he groaned in a whisper.  
"Uh-uh," Drusilla chastised as she took her spot on Selena's right. She produced the blade again, this time cutting Spike's palm, and her own, placing the over Selena's bleeding arms. Buffy swayed, having to catch herself from falling. "Deal with her," she demanded to Angel. "And you, my pets," she referred to the Vigilo demons, "start chanting."

**Hey guys. Thanks for all the reviews. It really does make my day when I read them. Unfortunately, our story is coming to an end. :( But, good news. There's still a few more chapters on their way. I'll update as soon as I type them. :)**


	50. Chapter 50

Angel stumbled to Buffy, completely intent on doing Drusilla's bidding. "You can stop this, Angel," Buffy said, trying to rationalize. "You can go to Willow, and she can do a forgetting spell so that you won't remember ever meeting me. You can go back to L.A., and do your work. You can help people."  
"Is that something you would do?" he said, his voice straining to talk over the chants. "Simply have a spell done to forget me?"  
"I don't think a spell could ever make me forget you, Angel. You were such a big part of my life. Emphasis on the '_were_'! I love you, Angel, but not romantically. I thought we covered all of this. I'm in love with Spike, and however hard it is for you to be able to understand that, you need to just accept it, and move on. Just like I did when you told me to. So take your own advice. Right now, I can't deal with you! I've got to stop the end of the world!" She kicked pasted the brooding vampire, slamming him to the floor, and successfully knocked him unconscious. Buffy sprang toward the circle where the ritual had begun. The box sat on Selena's barely moving chest. Both Drusilla and Spike had hands over their daughter's bleeding arms. The small amount of color that was in any of their faces was draining fast. With Drusilla's free hand, she lifted the key from Selena's neck, and slid it into the keyhole. She placed her other hand on the box's top, moving Spike's bloody one to do the same.  
The chanting slowed, and all Buffy could hear was Drusilla mumbling that it was here. She took that chance to kick the two chanting demons away from the circle, hopefully breaking whatever spells that not only had held her in place for too long, but also had been started with the blood. She wasted no time in making sure that the spells weren't the only things broken .Buffy darted for the box, only to receive a series of long thin cuts on her right arm, reaching from her elbow to her wrist. Drusilla's nails jerked back to her face as she licked the Slayer's blood from her fingertips.  
"Mmmm," her throat growled. Buffy was jerked back to reality as she saw the stomach-curdling act and quickly punched Drusilla in the face.  
"You crazy," punch "disgusting," kick "vampire bitch," Buffy said in between hits. She knocked the knife from Drusilla's hand, causing the vampire to stagger from her. She swung the scythe, barely missing her target. Drusilla recovered, kicking the weapon from Buffy's grasp.  
The two women fought. Neither one tried to go for their weapons. They punched, kicked, and deflected the blows the other threw. Buffy tried to flip over the vampire, but ended up being face-planted into the ground. Drusilla stalked over her, a maniacal grin spread across her face. "Oooh, Slayer," she said as she crept toward Buffy. "'ve waited so long to kill you. You tainted my Spike. Took him from me." Buffy tried to stand, finding it increasingly difficult as she rose to her hands and knees. Drusilla took the chance to kick her in the stomach, causing Buffy to fall once again, but not before she kicked Drusilla's feet from under her. A drop of fear rippled through Buffy as she temporarily thought of her untimely death once again. Drusilla cackled, as she smelt the alluring aroma. She rose to her feet, towering over the blonde.  
"I'm gettin' so sick of you," a voice from behind her said. Before Buffy could react, a stake protruded from the vampire's chest. "Go to hell," Spike said as she burst into dust. As the dust settled, Spike helped his lover from the ground. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. She hesitantly stood straight, feeling a sharp pain in her sides. "You okay, pet?" Spike asked as he nuzzled into her neck.  
"Fine. I think I have a broken rib or two, but I'm okay. Let's get everyone out of here."  
They separated as they walked to the bodies around them. Buffy looked to the Selena, still unconscious and on the sarcophagus. Spike made his way to her, gently stroking her face. "It's the pressure points," Angel said groggily. "I can undo them. If you want me to."  
Spike nodded and let him near the girl. After a few quick jabs to the back of her neck, she moaned. "Dad?" she mumbled.  
"I'm here, luv. I'm here."  
"Angel," Buffy began, "can you help Dawn, too?" He walked to the girl, laying limp on the floor. He performed the same jabs. She came around seconds later.  
"Buff… My arms," she whined in low voice. Angel poked her arms, allowing her mobility once more. "Thanks."  
"Hey, B," Faith said, walking into the cave. "Did we miss all the fun?" She looked around, seeing the three dead demons and the pile of ashes that used to be Drusilla.  
"Just a bit. How's Robin?"  
"Alive," he said, walking in behind Faith, struggling to stand.  
"Good. Let's get home. I'll call Willow, get her and Andrew to bring a car for us."  
Buffy helped Dawn to her feet, allowing her to lean against her small frame. She looked to Selena and Spike, who were doing the same. The box laid on top of the tomb. The key was in the keyhole, turned. The lid was open. "Who—who opened it?" Buffy asked, a new spread of fear washing over her.  
"It was open when I came over here. Nothing in it though. Just an empty box."  
"Hm. Hope was the only thing that remained. I guess it was just empty all along," Dawn suggested.


	51. Chapter 51

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Willow asked, setting her supplies on the table.  
"Yes," Angel replied. "Just make me… Make me forget. Make me forget meeting Buffy."  
"This is going to be hard for you. Every day, you're going to feel like you're, well, forgetting something. Like a task you put off but didn't do. It'll probably be annoying, but I can't help you there. You won't remember me asking you to do this either, okay?"  
"Just do it, Willow," he said harshly. "Please." She performed the spell. She watched as his head hung as she tampered with his mind. When she finished the spell, he raised his head. "Willow?" he asked. "Where am I? What happened?"  
"You're in Cleveland. You were visiting and got hit in the head. You're scheduled for a flight back to Los Angeles in a few hours. Cordelia will meet you at LAX. Do you need a ride?"  
"Please. My head," he groaned. "It feels fuzzy. Like I'm missing something."  
"Yeah, it'll be like that for a while. Here's a number of a friend of mine in L.A. that can help with that. See her in the next few days, okay?" she insisted.  
He nodded. "Can I lie down for a while?"  
"Yeah. The basement is through that door. There's already a cot set up." He said his thanks and stepped down into the darkness.  
"I remember," a small voice came from behind her. Willow turned and smiled at the blonde woman.  
"Remember what?" she asked, rising to meet her.  
"I remember we fought. About you using too much magic. But it was magic that brought us together, initially. Oz… he left. And we became friends. And then he came back, and we started to be more. It's all strange," Tara stated, not looking the red-head in the eyes. "What else?"  
"He almost attacked you, and –"  
"No. I mean, after that. After we fought, and after I—moved out. I know Buffy died. I know she had that thing with Spike. But I don't know what happened after that."  
"Well, umm… there were these guys. Warren, Andrew, and Jonathan."  
"Andrew? The guy that lives with Xander?"  
"Yeah, him. But umm, they caused us some grief for a while. Buffy spoiled their biggest plan, and Warren got angry. Like, really, angry. He came to kill her. He shot her, and he shot you. She was okay, but…"  
"I died," she whispered. "I remember. We had just gotten dressed. And then, I saw something red all over your shirt."  
"Yeah. It almost killed me. Actually, I almost killed the world. I- I killed Warren. And you were right, about the magic. I went crazy, taking in as much darkness that I could." They were seated now. Willow had her hands wrapped around one of Tara's terrified of what her lover would think of her, of everything she'd gone through. "I was just so mad. For the longest time, I didn't even feel bad for killing Warren. He was a monster, even if he was human. I had no right to take his life, but I didn't care. I needed revenge. I almost killed my friends in the process, but Xander helped me I studied with Giles in England. He sent me to a coven that helped me control that side of me. A little over a year later, we faced yet another apocalypse, though it was worse this time. The First—the First Evil—came to me and Dawn in forms of people we trusted. They told us things, and we almost believed what they told us. The Council was killed. And then all the potential slayers were sent to us." Willow was wound up in the retelling. She was worried on whether or not she should tell Tara of Kennedy. _No more lies. No more hiding._ "There was one, Kennedy, who showed interest in me. And later, I to her. She kissed me, and I turned into Warren. It scared me so much. It ended up being Amy's fault. She hexed me. But obviously, the spell was reversed."  
"How? H-how was it reversed?" she asked cautiously.  
"She kissed me again. It was that simple. We were involved. But you came back."  
"So you dumped her?" Tara asked.  
"No. She dumped me. She knew I have feeling for you. I never hid them from her. When you came back, she told me that she wasn't going to get in the way of whatever it was or is between us." Neither had looked at the other during the entire conversation.  
"So, umm… what _is_ between us?" Tara asked, finally looking to her.  
"Whatever you want it to be."  
"Well—let's take it slow for now. Even though I remember everything, I still think we should rebuild everything. Get to know each other again."  
"Sounds great to me."


	52. Chapter 52

Xander heard his doorbell just as he was beginning to doze off. He groaned, forcing himself to leave his bed, not bothering to dress in anything other than his boxers. He walked to the door, yelling that he was coming as he reached the kitchen. He opened it, only to see Anya standing in the hall. "Anya? What're you doing here?" he looked to the clock that hung in the kitchen. It was five in the morning.  
"You left me!" she exclaimed.  
"I'm sorry, what? I'm just a little tired, Ahn. It's been a long night."  
"You left me at the altar!"  
"Oh. OH!" he said, understanding. _She's remembering!_ "Come on in, and we'll talk." She pranced in, planting herself firmly on the couch. "What do you remember?"  
"Everything! I came back after graduation, and had sex with you. A lot. And we got in a relationship. You proposed right before Buffy died, and then we kept it a secret. But then the day came, and you left! Some stupid little demon I cursed in my vengeance days came and convinced you that it wasn't worth it."  
"Anya, you have to know. I am so sorry, about everything. I apologized afterward, but you were so angry with me, I understand that you couldn't forgive me at the time. What else do you remember?"  
"I had sex with Spike. That's when you found out Buffy and Spike were having a relationship. You hated all three of us for so long. I don't know much after that."  
"Do you remember the potentials coming to Sunnydale?"  
"Barely. It's blurring after that."  
Xander launched into how there was the First, the potential slayers, and the opening of the Hellmouth. He almost broke down as he told her that she had died in final battle.  
"Oh well that explains it," she said casually.  
"Explains what?"  
"This." She pulled her shirt off, showing the bubbling scar that stretched from her left shoulder to her right hip. "I noticed it when I was getting ready, but I didn't know what it was from. Then I started remembering things."  
"Anya, I'm so sorry. It tore me up that you died, saving Andrew no less. I've been living—if you can call it such—in a drunken stupor. I just wanted the pain to go—" Anya's lips were abruptly on his.  
"Xander, I remember enough to know that I love you. And after facing the end of the world with you, I don't want to live another day without you."

Silent tears rolled down his face. He stood and ran to his room. He opened his nightstand drawer, rummaging to find the small box he was looking for. He hurried back in the living room, kneeling next to the woman he loved, "Anya, I have loved you for six years. I have asked you once before and screwed it up greatly." He opened the box, revealing a bright ring, simple yet elegant. "Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins, will you please give me the honor of being my wife?" She launched herself at him, kissing him profusely. They laid together on the floor, holding the other and kissing with each breath. After a few minutes of pure, amazing kisses, Xander spoke up. "So, is that a yes?"  
"Of course, you silly man," she grinned as he slid the ring on her finger.

…

…

Buffy looked to Selena as she finished stitching her arms up. "I'm so sorry I let it get that far," she apologized for the tenth time since Selena was completely conscious.  
"Buffy, please, stop apologizing. I understand. It's cool. Nothing happened aside from getting some cuts and bruises. No big deal."  
"But still," she insisted.

"But still nothing. I'm going to go take a shower and then sleep until way afternoon."  
"Okay," she said, defeated. She looked to Spike who was nursing his own injured hand. "Do you need help?" she offered.  
"If ya don't mind," he said, sitting next to her on the couch. He yawned heavily as he sunk into the cushions.  
"Tired?" she laughed.  
"Ironic, innit? Once the Big Bad, Slayer of Slayers, nightwalker, is now Mr. Goody, lover of the Slayer, human."  
"I'm not complaining," she whispered. Her face was flushed, a wave of embarrassment only increasing.  
"Not either," he said, bringing himself closer. "Buffy… what is this? This thing between us?" She felt him tense as he awaited her answer, and Buffy wondered briefly if he was intentionally quoting himself from years earlier.  
"What do you want it to be?"  
"Buffy… I want you to be happy. I want to love you for the rest of my life. You know I'll do anything for you. I want to make you happy. I've loved you for years, even though so much has happened with us."  
"Spike—"

"Please, let me finish. Buffy, I also want one more thing." He moved from the edge of the couch, pulling himself onto one knee in front of her. "I want you to make me the happiest man in the world." He reached into his pocket, revealing a ring. "This was my mothers. So please, make me the happiest man, and marry me?" the question in his voice was heard loudly.  
"Oh, Spike. Of course I will!" Although the strongest sense of déjà vu washed over them, they knew this time it was on their own accord, and not the result of a spell.  
He smiled widely, sitting again next to her, carefully sliding the cushioned diamond over her left ring finger. "It beautiful," she said, staring at the rock.  
"Not as beautiful as you," he commented, bringing her in chin up, slowly pressing his lips to hers. He had forgotten how easily she made him lose himself. He found himself pulling her to him more, wanting to be even closer than they already were. "God, Buffy," he groaned as he pulled away.  
"What? What is it?" she said. She tried hiding the fear and worry from her voice.  
"I just—I don't want it to be too much, too fast. As much as I want you, I don't want to rush it, love."

"Oh," she said, straightening up.  
"That doesn't mean I don't want to kiss you. Or hold you. We just went through it too fast previously, and now, I just want to do it right."  
"I understand," she was standing now, and offered her hand to him. "Will you come with me?" she asked, signaling to the stairs.  
"Anything you want."  
They silently walked to her room, discarding the dirty clothes as they went. Buffy forced herself to dress, and produced some clothes Dawn had bought him. They lay in her bed and began talking of their future. "We'll tell everyone later today. Can we have it soon? The only family I have are my friends and the girls. And Giles. So it won't take long to get things together."  
"Sure, pet. I don't have any family, and your mates are my friends, too, I guess," he laughed modestly. "We'll get it figured out, love."  
"Hmm… Good," she said as she settled herself into his arms.  
…

…

The pair woke up around four that afternoon. Buffy was practically bouncing off the walls. She had told everyone to meet at her house for dinner, and she still had to get the food. As everyone arrived, none of the oldest ones could stop pestering her about what was so important. Though she didn't make a point to show the ring that had become permanently attached to her hand, she didn't hide it. When Spike asked beforehand, she simply replied, "If they see it, they see it. If not, then that's okay, too."  
As everyone gathered around to get their food, she called said she needed to make an announcement. "Well, I have some big news to tell you," she began. She couldn't help the smile spread across her face.  
"You're pregnant?" Nicole guessed.  
"What? No. What?" she laughed. "And before any of you think I might be crazy, or under the influence of a spell, you can ask Will or Tara. She looked to Spike and her smile only widened. "Spike and I… are getting married!" she exclaimed, showing her left hand proudly.  
"We are, too," Anya blurted before a round of applause and congratulations passed through the house.  
"When did this happen?" Dawn said, a small look of hurt plastered to her face.  
"This morning," both women said simultaneously.  
"Have you set a date?" Willow asked happily.  
"Not yet. But it'll be soon," Buffy replied.  
"Xander and I haven't talked about it yet." The three women smiled as they looked around. "What did you have in mind?" Anya asked Buffy.


	53. Chapter 53

Buffy peered through her window as she watched Willow and Tara decorate the backyard. She was so nervous she couldn't stand it. She couldn't help constantly rubbing her hands, smoothing her clothes, or pacing around.  
"Buffy, you need to chill out!" Dawn said as she seized her sister's shoulders. "You're going to rub your hands raw."  
"I'm just so nervous!"_ I can fight any demon in the world except my own, _she thought.  
"It'll start soon, so just calm down. I could always give you some liquid encouragement."  
"A world of no," she laughed. She walked back to the window and saw that everything was already set up. "I love magic."  
"Yeah, we all do. Are you ready?" Willow said as she bounced in.  
"As ready as I'll ever be."  
…

…

Spike paced the basement frivolously. He was so worried about what was happening. "Are you ready?" Xander asked.  
"Not nearly," he chuckled.  
"It's time," a cheery voice said, bursting through the door.  
"Not excited, are you G-man?"  
"Xander, I have asked you countless times throughout the past eight years to stop calling me that," Rupert Giles said sternly, though his face never broke the smile. "And honestly, yes. I never would have imagined that years ago when that spell went bonkers that Buffy would still want me to do this. As never having had children of my own, yes, I am excited. For all of you."  
"Oh, Rupes!" Spike said, slapping Giles' arm playfully, "I never knew you cared."  
"Up until recently, I didn't for you. But the past is behind us all. The future is what counts."  
"Here, here!" Xander said, toasting his invisible glass. The two men chuckled as they watched their friend. "Well, let's get out there. Don't want to keep our ladies waiting, do we?"  
The trio walked out, finding their spots dutifully.  
A soft music began to play as the sun peaked from its hiding spot from the clouds. The event was planned prudently by Willow, who studied the setting religiously the past few weeks in hopes of getting everything just right. As the sun came from its hiding spot, Selena began walking down the makeshift aisle. She walked to her father, slipping something into his hand before taking her spot behind him.  
Next walked Dawn, who stepped onto the opposite side.  
Just as the music increased, Buffy was revealed, with Giles on her side. Her hair flowed down her back in curls, as bits were tucked away with hidden bobby pins. A bare minimum of makeup accented her perfectly sculpted face. A birdcage veil sat atop her head, as if giving a warning to the elegance before them. The slender woman bore a snugly fit, dress with bellowed slightly from her hips down. The one shouldered ensemble was simple, reveling nothing but her beauty. There were no ruffles or flowers on the satin gown. Beading was placed intricately around her waist and bust and in various spots down her train.

Buffy could barely see as she stepped out of her house and down the aisle Willow had made for her. She could see the white fabric stretched before her, and the white chairs where the younger slayers sat. The sun had decided to come out as soon as she did, and it blinded her even more as she strained to look for the blues she wanted to see. She could see Dawn and Selena in their yellow knee length dresses, and Robin in his white suit. _Why can't I see _him? she thought furiously. They stepped a few feet more, and she finally saw him. His platinum hair was in such contrast to his grey tuxedo and his ever-pale skin. She saw the look on his face and had to stop herself from turning to see if he was staring at someone else. She felt Giles tug her arm, making an assumption that she was walking too fast. But seeing him there, under the canopy of lattice and lights, she couldn't help but want to run.  
Spike stood slack-jawed at the sight before. He swore he wouldn't cry, but seeing the glorious form walking toward him made him weak in the knees and extremely light headed.  
"Breathe," Selena giggled behind him. He jumped at the sound of her voice, having forgotten anyone else was around. He watched as she neared him, and he found himself having a difficult time controlling his urge to run to her. A smile spread across his face as she was almost upon him.  
"Who gives this woman, to this man?" Robin's voice boomed, breaking the two out of their trance momentarily.  
"I do," Giles said, as he placed Buffy's hand in Spike's. He turned as sat next to Willow, who was already dabbing at her eyes. When he looked at her curiously, she only replied, "Allergies," in a hushed voice.  
Buffy stared into the bluest eyes she'd ever seen and rejoiced at what she saw in them. All the fight, the passion, the fire, the love shared between these two over the years only seemed to multiply in them. She had kicked herself the past month, hating that she had let the time between them be completely intent on killing the other.  
"The groom has informed me that he has written his own vows, and that he wishes to read them himself."  
Buffy looked shocked as the words registered in her head. _He did what? Oh… I feel so bad now…._  
"Buffy," Spike began, "I knew from the first time I ever saw you that you were different. You were only a young girl, but you had so much power, and loyalty, and love. I knew from the first time I saw you fight that you were no child, and you weren't scared of the things that went bump in the night. You fought with such ferocity, such passion. Buffy, I can tell you the exact time I realized I loved you, and here we are, years later, going through with the things we planned that night." He noticed her blush at his admittance, but he kept going. "Though it was two years after that that I finally told you, I wish I had that night, so that we wouldn't have fought all those years. But from now on, I promise to love you. To cherish you. To support you, and to help you. To make you happy by any way possible. I never want to see this smile leave your face. I love you with everything I am, my heart and my soul, even if it's only recently that I can say that last bit," he began to wrap up with a smile. "I have seen the best of you, and the worst of you. You're an amazing woman, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life learning everything else there is to know about you."  
"Buffy, do you have anything to say?" Robin asked after Spike finished.  
She thought for a moment and felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned and saw Dawn handing her a handkerchief. She smiled and whipped her eyes, just realizing that she had begun to cry. "Umm," she said for a moment before gathering her thoughts. "Spike," she whispered. "William," she said louder, "I can honestly say I've never heard anything that beautiful in my life. I only hope to be truthful when I say I've seen you at your best and worse as well. And although nothing else in the world scared me, you did. You were the Slayer of Slayers, and I would have been foolish not to have been terrified. You've helped me countless times before, even before you were chipped and en-souled. I knew you were good before you did, and that scared me, too. The first time I knew I loved you was when you left," she chuckled, "and I missed you. I missed having a friend that I could tell anything to, do anything with, and not be judged for it. I knew there was something else there, but I didn't want to admit it, even though you did often. I was dumb back then, but I have you now. And I promise to do everything in my power to make you happy. I promise to you love you, and care for you, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, in sickness or in health from this day forward until the end of time." She finished with a slight smile, and whipped her falling tears once more.  
"Well," Robin began, clearing his throat, "unless anyone objects, by the state of Ohio, I proudly pronounce these two, man and wife. You may kiss your bride," Robin ordered.  
Spike stepped closer to the woman, closing the small gap between them. He raised his hand to her face, sliding his thumb over her tear ridden cheek. He wrapped his other hand around her waist to the small of her back, and moved the other to between her shoulder blades. He leaned her back and kissed her passionately. The two kissed for several seconds before the audience broke into a resounding applause. He pulled her back to him, resting his forehead on hers slightly before turning them both toward the crowd. Music broke across the lawn as they walked back toward the house.


	54. Chapter 54

"Is it ready?" Buffy asked as she approached Willow in the kitchen. It had been hours after the ceremony, and it was the first time she had been able to break free from the crowd. Everyone was congratulating her and Spike, and although she was happy, she wanted to take a breather.

"Almost," she replied as she scribbled on a piece of paper. "I just need to finish the spell. Are you sure you want to do this?"  
"More than sure," said Buffy, smiling. "It can be your wedding gift to us."  
"Oh, so that money Tara and I gave you for your honeymoon—"  
"We're keeping it." They laughed as Willow finished.

"Here you go. Just get drink this with him and I'll say the spell."

"And that's it? That's all it takes?"

"Yeah. Just be careful though. It'll be… intense."  
"How intense?" Buffy asked cautiously as she twirled the vial in her fingers.

"Like, make sure you're alone."  
"Well, how would you know to say the spell?"

"It doesn't have to be at the same time. I can say it now, and whenever you drink it, it'll go into effect."

"Okay… Well, we'll be leaving soon… I just wish he would have told me where we were going."

"He he he…" she squealed.

"You know!" Buffy accused.

"Doesn't mean I'm going to tell you!" Willow giggled with secrecy, but also putting on her resolve face.

"Fine. Don't tell me," she said, feigning anger. Not being able to keep up the façade, she smiled. "I love you, Will. Thank you… for everything. You're such a great friend." Buffy was almost on the edge of tears again, for the billionth time tonight.  
"Aww…" Willow said, pulling Buffy in to a hug. "Stop crying or you're going to make me cry! Now get going! You have a long trip ahead of you."

"Okay, okay…" she said, dabbing her eyes.

They walked back into the backyard, rejoining their loved ones. "You alright, love?" Spike asked as he wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her cheek.  
"Yeah, everything's fine. Are you ready to go?"

"Been ready since I said 'I do,'" he laughed. "Let's change and then we'll go." They hurried upstairs to change into their travel clothes. Spike kissed his wife passionately as he embraced her. He tried to figure out how to undo the buttons on her dress until she stopped him.

"Not yet," she panted, pushing him away gently.

"I wasn't going to any further than to help you change clothes," he purred, kissing her neck lightly.

"Not yet," she said again.

"C'mon, Buffy, we're _married_. I can't even see you in your knickers?" he laughed, confused.

"Nope," she giggled, grabbing her clothes, and raced to the bathroom. She locked the door behind her and began to change clothes. "I suggest you do the same," she called to him. She tucked her dress back onto the hanger, and opened the door just in time to see Spike shirtless. She giggled embarrassedly, and blushed, as he made no effort to hide himself from her. She didn't know what had come over her to make her embarrassed to see her _husband _shirtless. She'd never been embarrassed about that ever before.

He sauntered over to her, pressing his naked chest to her clothed one. "What is it, pet?"  
"Nothing," she said too quickly. "Here. Get dressed so we can leave." She handed him a shirt, and put her dress in her closet.

"Anxious?" he asked as he pulled his shirt on.  
"A little. Let's go," she insisted.  
"Okay," he said defeated. They practically raced down the stairs, waving to their friends and family, signaling their leave. Spike loaded the car as Buffy hugged Dawn, Giles, Willow and Xander, telling them she would see them in a few days. Willow and Dawn giggled with the knowledge of Spike's secret destination.  
"Have fun!" they all said, bidding their farewell.  
"Bye!" Buffy yelled as she sunk into his car. She lied back and sighed heavily.  
"You okay?" Spike asked as they began to drive.  
"Yeah," she assured. "I'm just tired."  
"Sleep, pet. It'll be a while."

"I love you," she yawned. It wasn't long before he heard the evening of her breathing.

"Love you, too, Buffy."

…

…

Spike yawned as they passed into a different county for the umpteenth time that night. It was almost seven in the morning. They had been driving for a total of twenty hours, and he was making excellent time. He was almost positive that it wasn't luck that kept the cops off his tail. He was easily going over a hundred miles an hour and was thankful that Buffy had slept soundly the entire time. He knew it wasn't much longer before they reached their hotel, and he was excited. He knew Dawn and Willow had been able to keep his secret, because Buffy had continued to pester him about it.

The sun peaked over the horizon, and for the first time in a hundred years, he hadn't flinched away from it. The warmth hit his skin, and he shivered, just realizing the difference a little light could do. He looked at the sleeping woman next to him and smile. She was his light. Just having her in his life had turned his world upside down. He pulled into the hotel they would be staying at and was happy to see there was a valet and attendant there to help them. He walked to the other side of the car and easily shook Buffy awake. "Buffy… Wake up, love."

"Hmm," she mumbled as she stretched. "Where're we?" she pushed her eyes open, rubbing them carefully. Even in her half asleep daze, she knew she was wearing makeup.  
"We're at the hotel. Let's go," he insisted, pulling her to him, letting her lean on him.

"Mmm'kay," she said, slowly waking up. "Ugh. I feel like I slept for a day…"  
"You practically did," he laughed. After the incredulous look he received, he told her they had stopped for an evening so he could sleep. She didn't believe him when he told her that she had woken up, showered, and actually talked to him while they were in the motel.  
"I don't remember any of it," she said. Right before reaching their room, she blurted, "Willow. She did something to make me not remember the trip so it would be a surprise."

"I guess Red did do something. Huh. I didn't ask her to. She must've thought I'd crack," he laughed. He opened the door and led her in. The attendant set their luggage down and wished them a good stay.  
"Spiiike," she whined as looked around the suite. "Where are we?"  
"In a nice a hotel," he smiled, giving her a quick kiss.  
"I can see that. But in what part of the country?"  
"C'mon," he said as he grabbed her hand. "Let's look around." He eagerly showed her the small kitchen and living room, along with the bathroom with the Jacuzzi tub. Lastly, he showed her the bedroom. A California king size four poster bed was in the center of the room. She was in awe as she saw the place.  
"Spike… how can we afford this?" she questioned.  
"I have some money at Wolfram and Hart. It's not a big deal. Here… This is the best view of the entire place." He pranced to the wooden slide door that was at the far wall of the bedroom. He opened the door, allowing Buffy to see the view he was so anxious for her to see. The orange sun was coming over the blue water, setting a brilliance of colors across the scene.

"Oh, Spike," she said, hugging him tightly as the sun washed over them both.

"I knew you'd like it," he said, kissing the top of her head.  
"I never thought we could be together like this. In the sunlight. It's great… I love it. I love you."  
"I love you, too, Buffy."


	55. Epilogue

"I have one more thing to give you," she said, rising from the bed and walking to her purse.  
"What's it?" he asked, propping his body up on his elbows.  
"A gift, from Willow," she said with a sly smile.  
"It's not going to do anything strange to us, is it?"  
"I hope not. But she promised she did her best with it, and it should do exactly what I want it to. Do you want me to tell you? Or do you just want to take it?"  
"Do I want to know?"

"I don't see why not…" she shrugged. "It's a Claiming potion I asked Willow to make."  
"You want… to claim each other?"  
"Yes. I know it's something neither of us have ever done, even though you talked about it that night. Do you remember that?"  
"O' course I remember. I just never knew you remembered."  
"Here," she said, sitting back on the bed and handing him the vial. "Drink half, and I'll drink the other half."  
"That it?"

"Yeah. That's it." She watched him drink, and drank after he handed her the mixture. "Do you feel anything?"

"Nothing I didn't feel before."  
"Hmmm. Guess it didn't work," she said downheartedly.

"Don't be sad," Spike said, pulling her to his bare body. He kissed her lovingly on her lips, holding her close. He felt something surge through him, and he could barely control himself. "Did you feel that?" he asked as he pulled away, placing his forehead against hers.

"It worked!" she said, smiling broadly. Everything she felt intensified and echoed inside her. She felt her love for him and his love for her, and it made her love him more. "Spike," she whispered, bringing herself closer to him, "I love you."  
"I love you, too, Buffy. Always will."

And they lived happily ever after, at least for the next few days when a demon trampled through Disney World the one day they decided to visit. But along with their newfound feelings, Buffy's strength was also transferred to Spike, allowing them to fight equally matched.

They spent their days fighting evil, loving each other, and raising their two children, Joyce and William.


End file.
